Torn from the Inside Out (My secret confessions)

Torn from the Inside Out

I’m an emotional wreck.
I’m depressing,
Antisocial,
I cant express myself
The words always come out wrong.
I’m awkward,
Obnoxious,
Loud,
Overly emotional.
I can’t cry when I need to
And I cry when I can’t afford to.
I overreact over little things.
I’m a liar
I do stupid things.
I regret too much of my life.
I don’t trust easily.
I fall too hard too fast
And then doubt myself.
I have a need to be loved
And an inferiority complex.
I say I don’t care what other people think of me,
But I’m really insecure
And people’s comments hurt me deep inside.
I hate distance.
I hate ignorance.
But I distance myself from my emotions
And ignore my heart.
I wish I could just cry and let it all out,
But I can’t.
I don’t think I deserve real love,
I fake my life everyday.
I lie, I lie, I lie.
I pretend I’m not afraid of death,
But I am.
I’m too opinionated sometimes
And I worry that people don’t like me because of it.
I wish I could be totally carefree
But the voices in my head won’t let me.
I’m more insane than anyone truly knows.
I have multiple personalities,
ADD, OCD, and schizophrenia,
But they are all undiagnosed
And I wouldn’t fix it if I could.
I wash my hands compulsively,
I get upset if every little detail of my life
Isn’t exactly what or where it should be.
I have crazy mood swings.
I’m dangerous to myself,
Especially when I’m depressed.
Sometimes I still cut to ease the pain,
Even though I assure my friends I don’t,
And I’m not trying to stop myself either.
I lie to my parents, my friends, my family.
I trust very few people in my life,
And even that trust is questionable sometimes.
I am not okay.