Mulan

Mulan
(Character from Mulan...obviously)

Who is this girl before you,
this girl in your reflection?
This painted china doll,
ornately dressed
with saddened eyes.
The weight of the world
is upon your shoulders,
One wrong move
will shame you,
bring dishonor to your family.
But don’t let the gloom get you down,
steal the childish smile from your lips.
Throw off your weary frown,
don’t let life get you down.
Your choice is made,
your mind is set,
to save your family
you’re taking matters into your own hands.
A sweep of gleaming blade,
flutter of hair,
armor to mask your feminity.
With shining eyes,
hands steady on the reins,
you go off to war.
Your reflection watches you go,
silent and sad,
but you are not that girl
anymore.

Esmeralda

Esmeralda
(Character from Hunchback of Notre Dame)

Outcast,
Gypsy girl,
long-legged,
raven-haired.
You dance you way
along the streets of Paris,
tambouring in hand.
You dance your forbidden dance for all
at the Feast of Fools,
capturing not one,
but two hearts.
The bellringer,
the soldier,
but neither can be yours.
The hunchback,
the traitor.
Neither can be yours.
Put your trust in he who dwells,
in the tower with the bells.
Give your love to the ringer,
in Notre Dame with the bells.
And may your feet be swift
and may your way be clear,
as you escape the guard
in your gypsy caravan.
The sweet one who adores you,
the gruff one that you saved.
Neither can be yours.
Neither can be yours.

Belle

Belle
(Character From Beauty and the Beast)

Locked away from the world
in that cold lonely castle
you call home,
never fitting in,
always alone
despite the objects that serve you.
Dear child,
natural beauty ,
wide-eyed wonder,
with your candlestick friend,
feather-duster maid.
Shut your eyes a little tighter,
this jail of stone has secrets.
Nothing is an accident,
you were led here for a reason.
The rose is wilting,
time is running out.
Behold! The beast approaches,
wild, obscene,
your captor.
But beneath his contorted features,
lies a heart of gold.
Will you love him my dear?
Will you redeem his soul,
and save you both?
End your isolation,
free them all.

Devour Me

Devour Me

Devour me.
I pour myself upon your plate.
Eat me alive.
Life is absurd, short,
too mundane to count.
I don’t understand what I feel for you,
anymore.
Take me,
all of me.
Make me certain,
cease the wonder.
I need answers.
Show me the love
I've longed for, for so long,
the love I crave,
need so desperately.
Take another piece of my heart.
I think I’m in lust,
I think I’m in love.
Make me certain,
ease my mind,
my pain.
Make me numb,
freeze my soul
and free my heart.
I’m withering away without you here.
I’m decomposing, falling apart.
Devour me,
my essence.
Swallow me whole.
Just say you need me.

So Alone

So Alone

I’m just a ghost to the world,
a faint outline of a person
making my way through life.
Blurred, faded.
People pass by me unknowing.
The city lights shine through me,
like a blaze of flame
shot to the heart.
It feels like the stars are crying
acid rain,
pouring down upon me,
burning.
I’m sinking through the ocean,
to the very ocean floor,
to lie beneath the waves forever.
I’m an angel with these broken wings,
my open wounds bleed dry.
I pray for night to obscure me again,
to make me a shadow once more.
The pendulum has swung towards me,
I’m left on this dingy street corner
in the pouring rain.
I am gasping for air tonight,
and I am so alone.

I Knew You Meant It

I Knew You Meant It

Laughter
is the food
of the soul.
We are nourished,
and we grow.
I long to hear you laugh,
like you did once, long ago.
When we were younger
and the world was our plaything.
We would run through the rain
and get soaked to the skin,
but never go inside.
And you kissed me like you meant it,
and I knew you meant it,
back when we were too young
to truly know what love was.
We didn’t know what it was
that we felt,
but we knew that we felt it.
It was as sweet and innocent
as the chocolate we shared
on Halloween,
those many years ago,
as simple as could be.
I fell asleep on your shoulder
and you rested your head on mine.
and I knew you meant it.

Flames

Flames

Silence.
Not even the crickets are chirping
their rhythmic melody.
The grass forms a sweet, fragrant pillow
beneath my head.
Overhead, the moon is full,
full of promises, or lies
or sympathy.
The stars have all fallen
from the sky,
and set my heart on fire.
There’s no other way to explain
how I’m feeling tonight.
no explanation for the fact
that my soul’s burning.
I am burning for you.
It is so foreign a feeling for me,
these flames that are scorching me.
I am not in love,
I tell myself.
And yet I hunger,
I burn for you.

Soul Mate

Soul Mate

Can you paint me
a masterpiece?
Can you set the moon
on a silver platter at my feet?
Can you write me
a love song,
and sing it to me
from below my window?
Can you stop the sun from rising
so we can share this endless night?
Can you build me
a brand new life,
a brand new start for us?
Can you smother me slowly, so softly,
make my breath catch in my throat?
Can you silence the mourning inside me,
change this longing into glorious reward?
Can you satisfy my morbid curiosity
as to whether I need this pain or not?
Can you answer my questions,
and tell me you'll be
my soul mate, my flesh mate.
Will you?

The Aftermath of Valentine’s Day

The Aftermath of Valentine's Day

There’s a million wilting roses,
rotting away in some dumpster.
A thousand helium balloons
deflating, floating away slowly
into an endless blue sky.
Cards laying forgotten in the bottom
of a pile by your trashcan.
Half-eaten boxes of chocolate
collecting ants.
The one who loved you so much yesterday,
who showered you with presents,
today he’s making out with someone new
on a street corner,
he’s already forgotten you.
Happy – fuckin’ – Valentine’s – Day.

Mole (Never Seeing the Light of the Sun)

Mole (Never Seeing the Light of the Sun)

Blind eyes,
hands search for purchase
on a slippery slope.
Body heaving,
it is pulled up from the murky depths.
The creature shrinks
from the warmth of the sun,
Heavy chains clink,
links swinging
as it moves.
Shuffling slowly,
head down
to avoid an unwelcome foe.
Never seeing the light of the sun,
this creature of the night
slowly withers away
in its harsh glare.

Nothing Rhymes with Orange

Nothing Rhymes with Orange

My pen is a vessel
for the thoughts I spill,
like black-clad soldiers
they march across a sea of white.
My eyes are portals
inviting you into my soul,
guarded and stormy
with multitudes teeming within.
My hands are calm
with no indication that
they belong to a body,
so mixed up inside.
My lips are faulty locks
with no key needed to open.
They are tipped glasses,
spilling secrets like fine wine.
My thoughts are clothes
in a dryer, they spin,
around and around they tumble
in my aching head.
My mind is frustrated,
I am so lost
in the see-thru of dreams,
because nothing rhymes with orange.

Broken Glass Reflects

Broken Glass Reflects

The chandelier falls
like fragile trinkets, it breaks.
Like porcelain, china,
it smashes.
Drawn to it
by magnetic force,
I prick my finger
on broken glass.
As I struggle to clean
the glass-strewn floor,
my reflection stares back at me.
Thousands of me
glare up into my eyes
from the tile.
I do not like what I see.
I drop the pieces,
stare up into an angry sky.
It is red,
just like the blood
slowly dripping
from my fingers.

Wasting

Wasting

Sunken eyes,
hollow cheeks.
Wrists thin,
hands like broken birds.
You can count her bones
through her paper-thin skin,
can watch the pump
of blood through her veins.
She struggles to speak,
lips dry as sandpaper,
voice rasping.
It’s hard to hear her
above the beep
of the machines keeping her alive.
The lines on the screen,
like high-peaked mountains
are scrolling.
She’s struggling to stay awake now,
her legs folded.
Her entire body shaking,
wracked with infection.
She coughs blood,
they call the nurse.
The machines go silent.

Tear-Drop

Tear-Drop

She calls herself Tear-Drop.
She says she can see right through herself,
that she's nothing but a reflection.
She won't take no for an answer,
isn't looking for a fight.
She calls her sister StarGirl,
because she shines so bright
just like a star.
She lights up the dark of night,
and brings hope to all dreamers.
Her friends she has named MoonChild,
WildFlower, FireFly.
She says they make her smile
and brighten up her day.
She’s named her horse
Dreamweaver,
and says she flies through the night on his back.
She is The Namer,
for she knows what everyone is truly called.
And she’s told her boyfriend
that he is WindWhistler,
that her paints her so perfect.
And she is no longer alone.

Tightrope-Walker

Tightrope-Walker

Poised,
balanced.
Place one foot
in front of the other.
Arms outstretched.
head held high.
Don’t look down,
look straight ahead
instead.
You who wander
so close to Heaven,
putting on your circus show.
You who leap and twirl,
dance and flip
upon the wire.
With your tights,
glitz, glamour.
Face made up bright
to reflect in the spotlights.
You who spin tales
for the people below,
who long to dance
among the clouds,
as you do.

Hands

Hands

My hands are like snow-white birds,
flighty, never still,
they fly through the air,
coming to rest here and there.
When they are dirty,
stained and streaked with filth,
they are like fat squabbling pidgeons.
They are annoying to others,
they long to be free and clean.
And when I am sad and lonely,
my hands are soft, comforting
like baby chicks,
downy and brand-new to this earth.
But when I try to express this,
they tell me “stay quiet,
and wash your hands before dinner.”

Tissue Paper

Tissue Paper

Resilient though you are,
at the slightest pressure
you break, you tear.
Your secrets are spilling like fine wine
spreading across brand new carpet.
You cannot hold your feelings inside,
not any longer.
You rip in half, a sheet of paper
brightly colored.
Thinning.
Colors running,
blue, red, green,
staining all around you.
Bleeding.

Spiderwebs

Spiderwebs

I’m dancing down the spider webs,
lost in the glistening strands.
The darkness cuts off my vision,
total and surrounding.
I am lost in a golden network
of firing synapses
and blinking messages flying by.
I’m longing for wings
to pull on with ease,
and flutter away.
Far away.
Instead I’ve got a confusing,
befuddling mess of spider webs.
And I’m forced to wander
with no end in sight.

Locked Up

Locked Up

The shackles,
the chains that bind.
The links of silk,
and flowers.
Never iron.
They trick you into believing
that you are not a prisoner here.
You are.
A prisoner of your own devices.
You are never going to be free.
Never a drifter on a sea of dreams.
Always locked away in a cage,
no end in sight.
I don’t want that for you.

Mirages

Mirages

Smiles fade
like roses wilt,
like leaves fall
in Autumn.
Tears dry
like rain falls,
like petals drop
off the stem.
Hearts break
like glass shatters,
like branches snap
in the wind.
Souls freeze
like wounds bleed,
like anger breeds,
anew.
Eyes close
like doors lock,
like time ticks
away.
Hands clasp
like locks close,
like eyes meet,
like forever.

Walking Dead

Walking Dead

If you're afraid of living to the fullest,
if you're scared to let your heart
burst forth in song,
if your soul is withering
from being locked away and hidden,
if your heart is turning black,
into cold stone,
thorny and unloving,
if you never let a kind word leave your lips,
and no songs run through your head,
then you are not living.
You are walking dead.

ThisMinute

Someone is being born, someone is dying, a father is leaving home, a child is being beat, there’s a car spinning out of control, a plane taking off, there’s a teen running away from home, another committing suicide, a child is being hit by a car, another is learning to drive, there’s someone failing a test, someone getting into college, someone being rejected, someone crying, someone’s running, someone’s falling, there are half a million people on cell phones, laptops, PDAs, iPods, there’s another million dollars in Bill Gates’ pocket, there’s another decision being made by George Bush, there’s a protest, there’s a shooting, there’s murder, fraud and looting, there’s a war going on, an election being held, there’s life going on around me, and I am standing still.

Wonderings of a Young Child

What noise do penguins make?
And why can’t they fly?
And why are flamingoes pink?
Who makes the mountains so high?
And why do some of them explode?
Why does the stove burn
when I put my finger on it?
What color is my heart?
What color is yours?
Why are you eating cookies for breakfast?
Can I have one? Please?
Will you buy me a pony?
The pink one?
Can I get one for you too?
Can we go to the zoo tomorrow?
Will we see elephants?
Why are they so big?
And how do giraffes eat
with such long necks?
When will I be old enough
to go on the roller coaster with you?
Why can’t I go on now?
Why is it so big?
How did it get there?
Will you take a picture of me with Mickey?
Can I give him a kiss?
Can I give you a kiss?
What noise do penguins make?
I love you.

The Real Snow-White

The Real Snow White

The fair and fickle beauty
grasps the broom,
her hands grimy and worn.
She straightens her apron,
runs a hand through her ebony hair.
She traces a path through the dust on the floor.
Muttering to herself, she dusts the mantelpiece,
silently slides into a chair.
Her feelings matter little here,
she is nothing more than the maid.
She bits her blood red lip,
sighs to herself, wonders
if this life is better than the one she gave up.
Tears slip from her eyelids,
run down her snowy white cheeks,
stain her gown.
She closes her eyes against the pain.
This prison of a cottage
she must now call home.
It is more so than the silent, stony castle
where no one loved her.
Yet she struggles with her conscience,
wishing to be elsewhere.
The knock startles her.
She pulls back the door,
takes in the sight of the old hag,
mistakes her for a friend.
She confesses her problems,
worries, fears,
and the old woman offers an escape.
She grasps the apple,
her downfall.
Her ebony hair fans around
her ivory face,
her slim body crumpling to the floor,
apple clutched in hand.
And her blood-red lips move no longer.

Decadent Decay

Decadent Decay

The blackness envelops you
like the last fall of the velvet curtain,
the applause rising for the end
of your life.
The darkness, cold and hungry,
gnaws at your soul.
A bittersweet taste,
metallic, salty, burning.
Burning.
A welcome reprieve.
Thine roses fade,
thine eyes like glass.
Stone-like marbles
in a hall of decaying flesh.
Bloodless lips drawn tight,
tasteless mouth sewn shut.
Tears never shed,
locked in strongboxes of will and promise.
Candy-coated blade,
sugar-stained ruby red.
Gaping holes closed by tender hands,
burrowed into,
invaded with rot.
Dripping, dripping,
a crimson tide.
Stopping for no one but death’s gatekeeper.
a coin for the passage across the River Stykes,
here shall you bribe the boatman.
6 feet down she slumbers.
6 feet down she lies.

Cemetery

Cemetary

Graveyard of broken words,
lay to rest the things I never say.
Lock them in this velvet coffin,
lower them to their death.
Shall rot and decay steal away
the meanings of my dreams?
And when the truth hath peeled away,
like skin from the bone,
exposing weakness in its oozing wounds.
Bleeding dry the fonts of wisdom,
smashing hearts,
snipping the earthly ties.
The Sisters Three hath sharpened their blade,
forth they come to spirit me away.
To lay me down in this soil,
close the lid on the remnants of life.
A sweet, velvety plush,
I take the plunge.

Open and Bleeding

Open and Bleeding

I tear myself open,
I sew myself shut.
I rub salts into my wounds again.
You ripped my heart open,
adding insult to injury,
pouring words like acid upon my tortured flesh.
I never asked to be alive,
or have this thorn in my side.
I never wanted to be destroyed
by the beauty of love.
I tried to hold onto everything,
to persevere even though
my cuts were bleeding,
my soul was bleeding.
I thread my heartstrings
through my needle.
I sew my mouth shut,
I sew my heart shut.
I am weak,
I am fragile.
I will never heal,
always bleeding.
The walking wounded.

River Tale

River Tale

The water flows on,
unending.
A stream of life
that goes on reaching.
It flows by cities,
slumbering silently,
unaware.
It laps around ankles
of small children,
laughing at the cold,
leaping away.
It rushes down gullies,
overturns rocks
and scares fish from their hiding places.
It flows slowly
towards the ocean,
stopping only to offer
a catch to the fisherman,
a wave to the surfer.
It sweeps away discarded lives,
dross, and small children.
I place my hand in the river,
drag it along the bottom
and gather small pebbles.
I let them fall slowly,
plop…plop…plop.

Daisy

Daisy

I grasped the young flower,
staring silently into its pearl-white petals.
It spoke not a word to me,
just stared back with an unseeing eye.
I sat there in the summer grass,
thinking about the flower,
wondering what this flower thought about me.
I wondered if I could communicate,
talk with this flower.
So I said "hello",
and it answered me back.
We talked about everything,
the flower and I.
Life, love, and if the bees were out again,
what color the daisies in the next pasture turned out to be.
And when our conversation was over
I plucked the petals off the flower,
softly whispering,
“He loves me, he loves me not.”

Memory Jar

Memory Jar

I’ll save your dreams,
here in this jar,
and screw the lid on tight.
I'll hide it away,
high on a shelf,
away from all the light.
I'll take it out
when I get lonely,
and sit and remember you.
I'll sift through each
and every memory,
good ones, and bad ones too.
I am not afraid
to think about,
the things I cannot change.
I’m not afraid to
remember you,
and how we danced in the rain.
And when I’m done,
remembering you,
I’ll lock your dreams away.
To lie in wait
for the next time I long
to remember you this way.

Dreams

Dreams

There is a place where lost dreams go,
when they are gray and old.
When they mean nothing to the dreamer,
who has something new to hold.
The dreams float by as if on clouds,
covering the darkness of night.
The dreams leave you when it is time,
they fly on towards the light.
Dark dreams float and light dreams too,
on seas of broken hopes.
There's nothing left to bring them back,
for they are not tethered by earthly ropes.
The dreamers down on Earth, you see,
replace each dream they forget.
They dream of brand new things all day,
they haven't run out of dreams just yet.
So smile, dreamer, and dream away,
you who paint the world so bright.
Rest assured, your dreams never die,
they leave only when the time is right.

Morning; Beauty

Morning; Beauty

The beauty of the morning
is not lost on me.
I see the golden rays of sun as it rises,
turning the sky vivid,
with pinks and oranges and golds.
I know well the soft brightness
of early morning clouds,
the sweet drops of dew clinging to grass blades.
Do not ignore the sounds,
bright chirp of bluebirds,
squeak of crickets not yet returned to darkness.
Roar of car engines,
disturbing the quiet still of the morning,
breaking the calm in two.
And I sit in the grass by my driveway,
and lose myself to the beauty
of the morning.

Terror

Terror

There’s terror in the woods tonight,
there’s something lurking near.
So if you venture in alone,
step lightly and take care.
There’s eyes that glitter,
gleaming, shining bright,
and fangs that drip
a blood-stained ivory white.
The stench of fear is everywhere,
the beast can smell your terror.
It only makes him hungrier,
and more excites his fervor.
The snap of branches underfoot,
but one rustle is not yours.
Your eyes widen for it's certain
you are not alone anymore.
Try to run, but it’s all in vain,
you’re stumbling, you fall down.
Here comes your final moment, he approaches,
but you don’t make a sound.
The snapping jaws, the tear of flesh,
the blood that stains the ground.
Your life is done; you’re his next meal,
the silence echoes all around.

Falling

Falling

Smile and save the tears
for the hard times that will fall.
We will fall.
Like falling rain,
the pain remains.
We will fall.
It will not fade,
my memories,
they fall like wilted flower petals.
And we will fall,
like the Mona Lisa
off the wall.
With a false smile,
all-knowing eyes
she falls.
And it will all fall,
like leaves in the fall,
we will fall.
Like the Roman Empire,
like the government,
we'll fall.
It will all crash down around us,
everything we've built,
we will burn it down.
Tonight I'll spread the ashes,
and they'll fall like acid rain.
It will all fall down,
and I'll fall down,
like we once fell together.
We will fall,
like rain on the desert,
like snow on thirsty ground.
We will fall like night
on sleeping cities,
like bread to the hungry.
We will fall like the clouds,
slow-moving towards the sun,
like the sun’s rays
on a darkened world.
We will fall,
and it will all fall with us.
Every city, every person,
all the mountains will fall.
The sky will fall,
and the ocean.
The whole world will fall.
And the trees will fall,
and we will fall,
and we will pull it all down with us.
Like petals drooping
off the flower, we will fall.
We will fall.

Burn

Burn

And where once I built a city,
there is nothing that remains.
The smoldering ashes raining down,
are all I know.
I told you I would burn it,
that I’d burn it all down.
I promised that my dreams
would go up in smoke,
and crumble to the ground,
like flaming rose petals.
There is no way to stop me,
I told you I would burn.
I have set myself aflame
and I am burning up.
I am fading into nothing,
adding fuel to my fire.
I have poured the gas upon this,
I have struck the match
against the flint.
I have lit my life afire,
and ash is all that remains.

Let Me Bleed

Let Me Bleed

Tear apart the stitches
holding my heart together.
Break it once again,
shred it.
The last time we had this conversation,
you left it bleeding on the floor,
just a fragment of my soul.
So pull it apart again,
drive the knife in to the hilt
and twist me,
tear me.
Rip me open again,
and let me bleed.
I cannot take the silence.
Just kill me once again,
softly, gently,
leave no traces,
and let me bleed.

Lost

Lost

My hopes are floating to the ceiling
like a balloon escaping my grasp,
freely flying to eternity.
I hear the flutter of wings,
you must be near.
Your prescence lingers around me,
clinging to my skin like expensive perfume,
rendering me helpless.
I still feel you here,
like your hand never left mine,
the softness of your lips on my neck.
I know you’re watching over me,
my eyes turn skyward
to watch and wait for you.
But you’re never coming back,
I know you’re gone forever,
lost to the wear and the tear
of the slowly turning world.

Finding Me (A Song)

Finding Me (A Song)

It’s easy to say it’ll be okay,
even though in my heart I can’t find the light.
It’s easy to dream the way I do,
when I lay my head down at night.
The rain falls down and hides my tears,
I hang my head down, close my eyes.
I watch the leaves all float away,
to the graveyard where my dreams all lie.

In the shadows of my heart,
there is a life I never live.
A simple wish, a simple hope,
a simple song to give.

Chorus:
To lay awake and trace the stars,
to leave the pain behind.
The world’s a lonely place sometimes,
but there’s always a way to get by.
And if I burn down everything,
I built with these two hands.
Could I ever learn to be myself again?

I gave away everything I ever had,
I gave away my heart and soul.
I lost myself in the game of life,
a life that’s out of my control.
I don’t know how to make it through,
but I kept a secret in my mind.
A secret wish I’ve known for long,
one that they’ll never find.

Chorus Again

Bridge:
And everyone has always told me,
what to do and who to be.
I never had a dream of my own,
it was all laid out for me.
But now I see,
that there’s more I can be,
there’s another life I could live,
I could truly be me.

Chorus Again

Once a Love Letter

Once a Love Letter

This started off as a love letter to you,
but on the way it evolved into something different.
Something with dripping fangs,
razor-sharp claws.
Something to tear your heart in two
like you did to mine.
Do you like what I've become,
do I appeal to you now?
This is so confidential,
the feeling that I actually might have...
potential.
And when you think of me, remember,
I could have been the best you've ever had.
Instead, you're left with regrets
and lies, whispered to yourself at night.
Is anything you say ever true?
Has my whole life been some lie,
with me destined to always make the same mistakes?
Am I a doomed, tragic figure of lore?
Well don't worry about me, I'm doing just fine,
coping with the loss of the last of my sanity,
thinking less about what might have been
and more of what is to come.
So this may once have been a love letter,
but it’s come a long way from that,
twisting, growing, shaping itself into this.
Something to ponder in the darkness,
whenever you feel alone.

Soulsight

Soulsight

Just another wishful thinker,
wondering what the world holds for me.
I am wandering the labyrinth of my mind,
Ssipping down the side of the freeway,
watching the cars whiz by.
There is nothing left where I stand
but the broken glass of stained bottles
thrown out of the windows of expensive SUVs.
And the wind whistles through my ears,
ruffling the crumpled autumn leaves at my feet.
I scream up at an angry, empty sky,
alive with the products of human minds,
a place I cannot ever reach.
I am captured by the morbid beauty of the rain
pounding down around me, sending rivers into the gutters.
I am frozen in place, unable to move,
away from the mesmerizing glow of the headlights,
the squeal of protesting tires on unforgiving pavement.
There is no escape from the growing bulk of vehicle,
racing towards my waiting place.
So I raise my hands to the sky and accept my fate,
that sends me sprawling to the ground in a daze,
my head cushioned by the shards of broken glass.
Dimly I remember waking once,
refusing to give in to the blackness and silence
that overwhelmed my mind and vision.
But the blanket of night surrounded me,
cutting my vision, choking my air,
and I gave in to the comfort of eternity.
I was just another wishful thinker,
and the world held a fistful of poison for me
that crept through my veins, stilled my heart,
and settled my aching brain.

Last Poem

Last Poem

I speak without any words,
I glare at you from my prison of notebook paper,
just a poem someone scribbled down
instead of listening in class.
I am full of the dreams and hopes
of someone just like you,
who feels the strength of depression as well
and wishes they were someone else.
I see her blood-stained hands,
I know her guilt.
I have felt her tears as they fell,
staining my pages with guilt and deceptions.
I know how she felt when she penned me,
after fights and screaming,
when she felt she could not go on.
And therefore was I born,
to bring you the news I do not wish to carry,
that my author is not coming home tonight.
She has wasted away her precious childhood,
has brought herself an end in the blackness.
As she wrote me, she wept,
pressed the barrel to her ear, signed me
goodbye cruel world and tell them I cared.
And now I lay here, coated with the blood
of a young girl who should have been appreciated
enough to be shown some kind of love.
Instead she was left with comfort from her blades,
the warm flow from her veins,
scars that she hid away with lies and long sleeves.
And tonight the edge was reached and she went over,
with a single shot and a piercing cry,
leaving her legacy in a set of words
to let you know
that she was not invisible.

Ruin

Ruin

Lay the broken pieces of my pride
juxtaposed with my tattered thoughts.
Steal the gossamer curtain of sleep
from my eyes.
Lay it at your feet like a hunter’s kill.
Sing my heart-song loud and strong,
match the beat of my heart,
the pump of my veins.
Button your lips,
glistening with your harangues,
meant to prey on my fancy.
You, who capture me in fetters of your words,
my reflection imprisoned in shards of broken glass
around my feet.
Do not try to be valiant,
karma comes for all,
no one is exempt from the hand of Fate.
Play your songs of misery
Iin the cabaret of your mind,
and wait for eternal fire
The surge of ending.
The ruin of ages.

Bleeding You Away

Bleeding You Away

Isn’t someone missing me?
The one I tell my secrets to.
The hidden land in the reaches of my mirror,
perfection I can never touch,
never hold in my hand.
You hide in the shadows,
with my heart in your hand
still beating,
gushing blood with every heartbeat.
I want to scream to the heavens,
to open up my veins to the darkness in my soul.
Is it so wrong to want to bleed you from me?
I want your song gone from my lips,
the feel of you to leave my skin.
Am I wrong to want to hide away,
to smother my soul in the night of eternity?
The night falls on my tear-stained soul,
and I hide my broken eyes behind my façade.
I am not afraid of being something you despise,
I just need to keep myself from bleeding dry.
There is no sympathy in the empty socket
where your heart should lie.
Nothing but the black thorns of indignity,
like I pricked my finger on the spinning wheel,
with the spider-webs of anger flowing from my veins
and the star-lit sky coming closer to my outstretched hands.
I want the moonlight,
twirling through the portals of my eyes,
captured in the grasp of my curling fingers.
Part the sea for me for I am leaving,
leaving you far behind me.
I wish not to remember sweet words,
like the crisp juice of the apple we shared.
I wish instead, to bleed you away,
to see you running from me like a river,
streaming through my open hands,
like silken scarves I wish to lose.

Crayon

Crayon

Sharp smell of wax,
rising up from where
my closed hand moves
faster and faster,
across a sea of white,
darting here and there
adding color to the blankness,
of this world.
Vividly I recall
apples bursting with sweet scent,
green like the slashes of color on paper.
And the intermix of purple,
like the round, juicy sharpness of grapes
fresh from the vine.
The colors I blend,
simply smooth
as the surface of the table
I sit at,
inhaling the sweet scent of wax.

Memories of What Was

Memories of What Was

Tucked away into the corner of my heart,
is what I thought was love for you.
My dreams of you have faded,
are nothing but dusty memories now.
The thoughts of you kept in my mind
remind me of how things used to be,
of how I used to feel.
Those are feelings I’ve stored away in my soul.
But did you ever truly care for me?
And do you still care,
somewhere deep inside your heart?
Did I ever really love you?
Do I still?
Why did I believe you thought fondly of me?
You obviously had no qualms
about breaking my heart in two.
And you still don’t,
because you break my heart
every time I see you with her.
You tore my soul into too many pieces,
I need someone to piece me back together again.
How cruel is fate.
How cruel is love.
And I’m alone.

The Hunt

The Hunt

I am the hunter,
and you are my prey.
My primal instincts are finely-tuned,
I’m crouched,
ready to strike.
Do you fear me,
oh weak and defenseless one?
Will you flee from my sharp fangs,
my exposed claws?
Are you terrified now?
You should be.
Once I have you in my trap,
you’ll never escape from my grasp.
You are my trophy,
my prize.
Shot down from your lofty perch
by my arrows of love.
Run if you wish,
but I will follow.
And you are my prey,
meant to be mine.
So come a little closer,
into my trap,
into my arms.
I am not so vicious,
am I?

Opinionated

Opinionated

Dangle my insecurities from your fingertips,
my imperfections, flaws.
The rough spots where my soul
shows through my skin.
I will not hide from you.
See how naked I feel,
stripped of my hopes and dreams?
Your false smile doesn’t fool me,
I see right through you,
just as you see right through me.
And I won’t hold my tongue,
just because you don’t like what I say.
I won’t bite my lip,
or keep my opinions to myself.
I’m not surprised by your reactions
to my being so up-front,
so in your face.
I’ve never hidden my true feelings from you.
So shut your mouth,
keep your thoughts to yourself,
don’t let me know what’s going on.
You flaunt my insecurities anyways.

Imperfections

Imperfections

I am not perfect.
Can you not see my weaknesses?
The insecurities that dangle from my fingertips,
the rough spots where my soul
shows through the broken skin?
The red spots where my heart’s bled through.
Can you sense the weariness,
the heaviness in my mind?
Where the soft edges have broken away.
I’m still mending the place where
my heart was ripped form my chest,
leaving shreds of dignity,
and a loose cavity full of loss.
And I know you see
the shadows at the corners of my eyes,
darkness radiating from the centers,
blocking my self away.
I cannot hide the soft sadness
that turns down the corners of my lips,
crisscrosses the scars on my legs -
bruises that won’t fade.
There’s nothing I can hide, although I try
to disguise my sallow cheeks,
hide my angry frown,
my sad smile.
I am not perfect,
but I am not meant to be.

Rose

Rose

I never promised you a rose garden,
I never promised you there’d be no thorns,
othing to prick and provoke you in this life.
Your life is not a perfect rose,
for every flower has its imperfections,
and you are no exception.
The slight bend in your stem,
brown spots on your petals,
the curling of your fading leaves.
And like all flowers you are not immortal.
You, too, will succumb to the wilting,
your petals dropping, one by one
Tto a ground already strewn
with the remnants of other flowers,
those who went long before you.
Just like them, your leaves will wither,
your stem turn brown.
But as you go, floating away,
with each discarded petal,
so go the thorns.

A Dream is Born

A Dream is Born

Spun from thoughts,
and finest silk.
Full of hope and fantasy.
Woven on the loom of fancy,
tended by soft, caressing hands.
Braided thick with uncertainties,
sewn shut with gilded thread of love.
Stuffed with points of view,
mistakes, and opinions,
but also filled with laughter,
happiness and light.
Dipped in early morning dew,
coated with the hopes of millions.
Today you witness the birth of a dream.

Stronger

Stronger

Don’t give me that self-satisfied,
smug little smile.
So full of yourself are you?
I hold the power to destroy you,
with a simple flick of my wrist.
I’m a tiger.
I am no weakling,
I won’t bow to you,
or follow your every word.
I’m free from your shackles,
I can breathe once more.
There’s no love song here,
no happy endings.
My life is no fairy tale.
I gave you enough chances
to try, again and again.
Each time you ignored me,
and each time you tore another piece of my heart.
Do I look gullible to you?
I can send you into pain and misery,
just so easily.
I’m a fighter, baby,
never a follower.
You know how I lead,
I’ve shown you my self-confidence before,
shown you my ability to confound.
And I’ve known you to watch me,
out of the corner of your soul.
But now, I’m a survivor.
and you’ve only made me stronger.

She's a Tiger

She's a Tiger

She’s a tiger.
She is no pushover,
no laid-back girl.
A star-crossed wanderer,
angry at the world.
Hoping for a riot.
She’s a bundle of nerves,
feisty, the queen of this jungle.
Crazed, uninhibited,
full of self-confidence,
bursting with pride..
She’s a tiger.
She’s a fighter.
She’s a rebel beauty,
and she has no problems
with being herself.
She’s a tiger.

Cinderella

Cinderella

Hide your twinkling eyes behind your kerchief.
Pluck the smile from your curving lips,
the blush from your rosy cheeks.
Straighten your back,
smooth your gossamer gown.
Hike the satin gloves back up your dainty arms,
press your hair back into place.
With your tilted chin in your china hand,
your gaze locks onto another’s
across a crowded dance floor.
Is he your true Prince Charming?
Do you feel it in your heart,
that he’s the one?
And will you have this dance, my dear?
Your crystal glass pumps await,
to twirl about this gilded ballroom.
So take hold of his hand,
so warm in yours,
and let him pull you onto the crowded floor.
Your time is almost up.
The clock ticks your chances away.

The Broken-Hearted

The Broken-Hearted

Let not the world’s expectations
make you cringe in fear.
You are not to be perfect,
it is far too much to bear.
Do not weep upon your broken dreams.
If you do not spread your wings,
you can never learn to fly.
The world will sob for the broken-hearted,
for those whose wings crumpled,
who fell to the tear-stained ground below.
Are you so afraid to be broken-hearted,
like everyone else in this world?
You are not different from the rest,
even though you strive to be.
We all end up with broken hearts,
broken dreams, and broken wings.
So spread your wings and don’t hold back,
go on, just take the leap.
Learn whether you are one of the broken-hearted,
or one of the free.

The Questions I Ask Myself

The Questions I Ask Myself

Do you ever wake up in the morning,
And hate the day before it begins?
Do you shy away from the sun,
And rejoice in the rain?
Do you write all your feelings,
Pour them into painful poems?
Do you understand the difference,
Between a heart and a plaything?
Have you ever loved someone,
So much it felt like your heart would burst?
Has that person ever broke your heart,
And left you sobbing at night?
Are you strong enough to carry on,
When everyone else drops out?
Can you find hope where there is none,
Or revive your broken dreams?
Can you fly with broken wings,
When everyone else says you can’t?
Are you smart enough to figure out,
When someone needs you and when they don’t?
These are the questions I ask myself,
Before I go to sleep at night.

Acid

Acid

Don’t hold your tongue for me.
Spit every acid word you hold back,
drown me in your poisonous thoughts.
I do not condemn your right to yell,
and spit and scream.
Whatever you want to get out in the open,
just say it. Don’t bite your lip because of me.
You’ve never been afraid of hurting me before.
I’m not so weak that I crumble at the slightest insinuation.
Nothing that you can tell me will surprise me now,
I think I’ve heard it all.
Every vitriolic feeling in your heart,
just spit it out.
Because I am tired of your excuses,
tired of your foolish lies.
I am ready for some acid rain,
so tell me how you feel.

I Love the Skin I'm In

I Love the Skin I'm In

My skin is unique,
it has no twin,
So I have come to love
the skin I’m in.
I love its ivory softness,
and I’m in awe of every scar.
I delight in every freckle,
when admired from afar.
I enjoy each fine, dark hair,
that sprouts from leg and arm.
I love the way it tans,
although the sun does cause it harm.
I may not be the prettiest,
I may not be the most thin.
But I know that I will be okay,
because I’m comfortable in my skin.
Every day my skin protects,
bends and moves and grows.
It helps me to play basketball,
and to wiggle my toes.
Without my skin I could not,
jump or run or swim.
Because there’d be nothing there,
to keep my insides in!
I need my skin to help me out,
when I fall and when I shake.
Without it there to cushion me,
I’d be much easier to break.
My skin controls my temperature
so it doesn’t get too high.
It also helps to keep me warm,
when it gets cold outside.
With my skin around me,
I don’t worry when I slip.
My skin is there to insulate,
to shield me when I trip.
I love to feel the pump,
of the veins beneath my skin.
It makes me feel so alive,
I love the skin I’m in!

Condemned

Condemned

Condemned.
We are all condemned,
born to die. Living a lie.
We put on a façade,
to please everyone else,
but never ourselves.
I do not call you a liar,
I do not condemn you.
I offer you a hand,
acceptance and freedom.
I offer a smile,
to light up your tear-filled eyes.
I offer to take the blame,
to lay the shame on you.
I offer you this teardrop falling,
from my red-rimmed eyes.
And now, I offer you myself,
bruised and broken,
imperfect and used.
But the only one available.

Broken

Broken

My mind knows the truth,
but my heart refuses to listen.
It knows it would break,
should it choose to accept it as true.
I know I need someone,
but I’m not sure of myself anymore.
It’s not healthy for my heart
to be yearning for something,
that was never there.
But was it truly never there?
There must have been some flicker
something now lost to me,
a spark that never fully flamed,
dying, instead, among the ashes
in my heart.
A thin fragment of fragile glass,
shattering as it falls,
rom my bruised and broken hand.
My bruised and broken heart.
A love that must depart.

Paper Doll

I’m just a paper-doll,
fragile and torn.
Someone's ragged concoction thrown away,
a figment of a child's imaginative play,
just a glass bauble to wear upon your arm.
Something to show your status symbol friends.
I'm just a paper doll,
I have no meaning.
There is nothing in this life I want to take with me.
I just want to live and go where the wind takes me,
blowing away this tattered paper-doll.

Alone

Alone

Just another face in the crowd,
another social outcast.
Someone else to laugh about.
Just another good for nothing kid,
with nowhere to go in life.
Someone else’s soul to crush.
Just another slip up on the path of life,
another forgotten being.
Someone to pass by on your way.
Just another crying child,
dying of a disease they’ve never heard of.
Someone to ignore.
Just another strung-out teen,
high on so much more than life.
Someone else to hate and scorn.
Just another human on this earth,
born into this life to die.
Someone else to pretend doesn’t exist.
Just another person just like you,
hoping for some semblance of dignity.
Someone to remember in the darkness.