Invincible
I dip my fingers in the river
and watch the ripples they make,
little lazy circles that stretch on and on.
I’ve never felt infinite before.
I’ve always known my time would come,
my heart would slow
my skin would fade
and my bones crumble to dust,
leaving nothing but a headstone
for my brethren to lay flowers upon.
I know what’s in store for me,
age and disease and a coffin 6 feet under.
So why do I feel invincible
whenever you’re around?
Thursday, December 21, 2006
High
High
you dropped me as easily
as a candy bar wrapper,
foil twisted and broken
blowing away in the breeze.
i swear i quit you
but now i'm in withdrawal,
unable to quit
always at your door begging for more.
just another quick fix,
please.
got any E, man?
got any C, man?
gimme another shot of you
just a small dose,
just a miniature Ziploc bag
of that magic powder
you dole out so sparingly to me.
just a quick fix, just a quick fix,
got any smack? any horse? any blow?
got any love left for me to get a high off of?
you dropped me as easily
as a candy bar wrapper,
foil twisted and broken
blowing away in the breeze.
i swear i quit you
but now i'm in withdrawal,
unable to quit
always at your door begging for more.
just another quick fix,
please.
got any E, man?
got any C, man?
gimme another shot of you
just a small dose,
just a miniature Ziploc bag
of that magic powder
you dole out so sparingly to me.
just a quick fix, just a quick fix,
got any smack? any horse? any blow?
got any love left for me to get a high off of?
All At Once
All At Once
I never knew my heart could dance,
until i met you.
There were never two people
more wrong for each other
more right for each other.
There were never two people
more meant to be together,
two people who love each other
hate each other
so much that it hurts us both
to be together,
to not be together.
We're meant to be, can't you see that?
We can't make it on our own
there's just no way to move on,
when you've found someone who makes you whole
who makes you empty,
someone who completes you
and completely shatters you
all at once.
I never knew my heart could dance,
until i met you.
There were never two people
more wrong for each other
more right for each other.
There were never two people
more meant to be together,
two people who love each other
hate each other
so much that it hurts us both
to be together,
to not be together.
We're meant to be, can't you see that?
We can't make it on our own
there's just no way to move on,
when you've found someone who makes you whole
who makes you empty,
someone who completes you
and completely shatters you
all at once.
It Can’t Be Me
It Can’t Be Me
Who do you love?
It can't be me.
Those patterns you traced
on the side of my neck,
your fingers, your tongue
softly claiming me as your own.
It can't be me.
The words you whispered,
the way you kissed my forehead
and held me in your arms
after we'd disconnected.
It can't be me.
You threw me away so easily,
just a quick roll in the hay
you're just not girlfriend material
i'm so sorry
i'll miss you
just think about Happy Feet
and you'll be fine.
That girl who sobbed her heart out
as we said our goodbyes.
It can't be me.
Who do you love?
It can't be me.
Those patterns you traced
on the side of my neck,
your fingers, your tongue
softly claiming me as your own.
It can't be me.
The words you whispered,
the way you kissed my forehead
and held me in your arms
after we'd disconnected.
It can't be me.
You threw me away so easily,
just a quick roll in the hay
you're just not girlfriend material
i'm so sorry
i'll miss you
just think about Happy Feet
and you'll be fine.
That girl who sobbed her heart out
as we said our goodbyes.
It can't be me.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Don’t Give Up
Don’t Give Up
Do not be violent,
instead be wise.
Choose your words carefully,
do not bite the hand that feeds.
You are more glorious
than all the stars in the skies,
more beautiful than the morning sunrise.
I am speechless in the presence
of your doubt, your reluctance to live.
Do not give up my friend,
the world stretches before you.
It’s all waiting for you
to open your eyes and see,
that everything will come full circle,
that it will all get better –
yeah, the sun will rise again tomorrow
and we will wake to a new world,
a new chance to live.
Do not be violent,
instead be wise.
Choose your words carefully,
do not bite the hand that feeds.
You are more glorious
than all the stars in the skies,
more beautiful than the morning sunrise.
I am speechless in the presence
of your doubt, your reluctance to live.
Do not give up my friend,
the world stretches before you.
It’s all waiting for you
to open your eyes and see,
that everything will come full circle,
that it will all get better –
yeah, the sun will rise again tomorrow
and we will wake to a new world,
a new chance to live.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Dealing
Dealing
Wilting flowers,
the sunlight is fading.
I feel hysteria setting in.
Can’t you see the pain
hidden deep in my eyes,
the tears that will not fall
but will never dry?
I’m shook to the core,
I’m shocked by the loss.
I can no longer hold onto my secrets,
my white houses are gone,
they’re been painted black.
I’ve been painted,
I’ve been spoiled,
I’ve been left to rot.
This is my life to live,
my pain to deal with.
Without you.
Wilting flowers,
the sunlight is fading.
I feel hysteria setting in.
Can’t you see the pain
hidden deep in my eyes,
the tears that will not fall
but will never dry?
I’m shook to the core,
I’m shocked by the loss.
I can no longer hold onto my secrets,
my white houses are gone,
they’re been painted black.
I’ve been painted,
I’ve been spoiled,
I’ve been left to rot.
This is my life to live,
my pain to deal with.
Without you.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Heavenly Body of Light
Heavenly Body of Light
my idea of heaven
will always be anywhere you are,
even if you never loved me
I always loved you.
my idea of heaven
will always be anywhere you are,
even if you never loved me
I always loved you.
Broken Promises
Broken Promises
Realization comes, unbidden,
sneaking into the corners of my mind
like grave robbers into a tomb.
You have stolen my greatest treasure,
cracked open my ribs
and ripped out my heart,
and the greatest crime of all was
I never said a single word to stop you.
Yes, I loved you from the start,
that was my first mistake,
and letting you break me once
but pulling you closer to my heart,
that was my second.
I let you pour salt in my wounds
instead of dressing them up,
keeping my eyes averted from yours
and focusing on your false lips caressing my neck.
I fell for your charms, your sweet words and soft kisses,
your deep chocolate eyes and beautiful smile.
I fell like the most foolish little schoolgirl
head over heels
end over end
tears spilling from my eyes,
bruised and broken
but baby, I’ll be fine.
Yeah, I’ll finally be fine.
Realization comes, unbidden,
sneaking into the corners of my mind
like grave robbers into a tomb.
You have stolen my greatest treasure,
cracked open my ribs
and ripped out my heart,
and the greatest crime of all was
I never said a single word to stop you.
Yes, I loved you from the start,
that was my first mistake,
and letting you break me once
but pulling you closer to my heart,
that was my second.
I let you pour salt in my wounds
instead of dressing them up,
keeping my eyes averted from yours
and focusing on your false lips caressing my neck.
I fell for your charms, your sweet words and soft kisses,
your deep chocolate eyes and beautiful smile.
I fell like the most foolish little schoolgirl
head over heels
end over end
tears spilling from my eyes,
bruised and broken
but baby, I’ll be fine.
Yeah, I’ll finally be fine.
Come Congregation, Let’s Sing It Like You Mean It
Come Congregation, Let’s Sing It Like You Mean It
You’ve got me singing like a church choir.
Every feeling, every thought, ever fantasy I ever had
comes spilling out of me
and onto the pavement at your feet.
You’ve laid me open and laid me to rest,
I’m speechless in the wake of your love.
You’ve got me singing like a church choir.
Every feeling, every thought, ever fantasy I ever had
comes spilling out of me
and onto the pavement at your feet.
You’ve laid me open and laid me to rest,
I’m speechless in the wake of your love.
Miles & Power Lines In Between
Miles & Power Lines In Between
Distance makes the heart grow fonder?
What absolute crap.
Distance weighs heavy on you,
hangs over you like some gloomy gray rain cloud,
erases you from his thoughts,
from his hear,
to the point where the phone lines stay dead
and your heart slowly dies as well
because you miss someone
who doesn’t miss you at all.
Distance ruins two perfectly good people,
rips them apart and leaves them bleeding
unable to even move.
Distance ruined me
and stole my baby away.
Distance makes the heart wither,
wither, wither,
wither away.
Distance makes the heart grow fonder?
What absolute crap.
Distance weighs heavy on you,
hangs over you like some gloomy gray rain cloud,
erases you from his thoughts,
from his hear,
to the point where the phone lines stay dead
and your heart slowly dies as well
because you miss someone
who doesn’t miss you at all.
Distance ruins two perfectly good people,
rips them apart and leaves them bleeding
unable to even move.
Distance ruined me
and stole my baby away.
Distance makes the heart wither,
wither, wither,
wither away.
Firsts
Firsts
Nervous.
Sweaty palms clasp together,
rub slowly creating friction.
Chapped lips and blood-shot eyes.
They’ve been planning this for weeks
and now they’re at a crossroads,
time to begin.
Get Down & Pray
Get Down & Pray
You make me religious.
I’ve never wanted to get right down and pray before
at the drop of a hat,
with absolutely no notice whatsoever.
But your love makes me feel so spiritual,
like everything I’ve learned before
is just false reflections
and golden idols,
so superfluous.
I’ve never felts so close to Heaven
as when I’m wrapped up in your arms.
You’re my angel,
I’ve felt your halo in my hands
when we’ve laid entangled together across your bed.
This is where we join hands
to say our daily prayers,
because life just couldn’t get any better.
You’ve got me singing hymns of praise
to your gorgeous face,
and I just can’t look away.
You make me religious.
I’ve never wanted to get right down and pray before
at the drop of a hat,
with absolutely no notice whatsoever.
But your love makes me feel so spiritual,
like everything I’ve learned before
is just false reflections
and golden idols,
so superfluous.
I’ve never felts so close to Heaven
as when I’m wrapped up in your arms.
You’re my angel,
I’ve felt your halo in my hands
when we’ve laid entangled together across your bed.
This is where we join hands
to say our daily prayers,
because life just couldn’t get any better.
You’ve got me singing hymns of praise
to your gorgeous face,
and I just can’t look away.
Welcome to the Masquerade
Welcome to the Masquerade
I’ve lost it all,
game over
start from the beginning
all over again.
Paint a new face on,
do a new dance,
cover-up & make-up
and another expressionless mask.
Welcome to the masquerade,
we’re all trapped in the rounds
of the swinging carousel waltz.
You can’t escape
and I can’t imagine
life without this at all.
I’ve lost it all,
game over
start from the beginning
all over again.
Paint a new face on,
do a new dance,
cover-up & make-up
and another expressionless mask.
Welcome to the masquerade,
we’re all trapped in the rounds
of the swinging carousel waltz.
You can’t escape
and I can’t imagine
life without this at all.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Re-Invent the Wheel
Re-Invent the Wheel
Here’s my theory:
if you’re going to swim,
don’t be afraid to get wet.
If you strike that match,
don’t be afraid to burn,
baby, burn.
Don’t take my hand,
I’m not ready to forgive you yet.
I don’t want to feel your heartbeat
or your hands tangled in my hair.
I just want you to admit it,
you were wrong,
you were so wrong.
It’s not rocket science, babe,
there’s no mathematical formula
and no solutions to dissolve.
You can’t just hit the backspace button,
there’s no such thing as a “do-over”.
You can’t re-invent the wheel.
Here’s my theory:
if you’re going to swim,
don’t be afraid to get wet.
If you strike that match,
don’t be afraid to burn,
baby, burn.
Don’t take my hand,
I’m not ready to forgive you yet.
I don’t want to feel your heartbeat
or your hands tangled in my hair.
I just want you to admit it,
you were wrong,
you were so wrong.
It’s not rocket science, babe,
there’s no mathematical formula
and no solutions to dissolve.
You can’t just hit the backspace button,
there’s no such thing as a “do-over”.
You can’t re-invent the wheel.
Writer’s Block; Meaning
Writer’s Block; Meaning
Would you tell me I was wrong?
You know my hands are tied.
There is no way out now,
I cannot fight my fate.
I won’t give it up so easy,
and I won’t turn my back on you,
but I’m not ready to make nice yet
and I’m not scared of finding out the truth.
Let me have it, both barrels,
I’m ready now, I’m ready now,
please rip me apart
and leave me for dead.
I swear that’s all I wanted anyways.
Would you tell me I was wrong?
You know my hands are tied.
There is no way out now,
I cannot fight my fate.
I won’t give it up so easy,
and I won’t turn my back on you,
but I’m not ready to make nice yet
and I’m not scared of finding out the truth.
Let me have it, both barrels,
I’m ready now, I’m ready now,
please rip me apart
and leave me for dead.
I swear that’s all I wanted anyways.
Freud’s Theory of the Uncanny
Freud’s Theory of the Uncanny
Stay in line,
stand up straight.
Blend in with the crowd.
Become just
like
everyone else.
Simple, right?
Easy.
Just give up your identity,
your personality,
defining features,
your hopes & dreams & faith.
What makes you different,
is now all wrong.
Plug this in,
upgrade yourself.
Download – Human Version 2.0.
There goes everything unique about you,
now you fit in perfectly, perfectly.
Stay in line,
stand up straight.
Blend in with the crowd.
Become just
like
everyone else.
Simple, right?
Easy.
Just give up your identity,
your personality,
defining features,
your hopes & dreams & faith.
What makes you different,
is now all wrong.
Plug this in,
upgrade yourself.
Download – Human Version 2.0.
There goes everything unique about you,
now you fit in perfectly, perfectly.
World’s Authority
World’s Authority
A crown for a king,
a scepter to rule with,
a new group of subjects
to exploit and to ruin.
Welcome to the world,
it only gets worse after this.
You’re the world’s authority
on moral bankruptcy and corruption,
so come on down,
it’s your turn to wreck us all.
A crown for a king,
a scepter to rule with,
a new group of subjects
to exploit and to ruin.
Welcome to the world,
it only gets worse after this.
You’re the world’s authority
on moral bankruptcy and corruption,
so come on down,
it’s your turn to wreck us all.
Philosophical.
Philosophical.
Philosophically disturbed.
The girl lies sleeping,
one hand over her eyes.
In the darkness
we are equals,
monsters,
lovers.
In the darkness
we are one,
hands grasping
and hearts pounding.
I lie awake wondering
just what you think of me,
I lie sleeping,
one hand over my eyes.
Philosophically disturbed.
Philosophically disturbed.
The girl lies sleeping,
one hand over her eyes.
In the darkness
we are equals,
monsters,
lovers.
In the darkness
we are one,
hands grasping
and hearts pounding.
I lie awake wondering
just what you think of me,
I lie sleeping,
one hand over my eyes.
Philosophically disturbed.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Choking On Unkept Promises
I need you like water in my lungs,
like an IV full of air
flowing straight to the heart:
deadly.
Choke it down,
the bitter taste.
It's not so bad now, is it?
Don't try and hide from it.
I'm stalking you like your shadow,
always one foot behind the other,
always one shot behind the other.
Here's my love, baby,
right here in the barrel of this gun.
Choke it down,
the bitter taste.
It's not so bad now, is it?
Make it work, make it work,
the jolly elves in your head
are spinning that sick sweet merry-go-round tune again,
la la la la la.
Can you feel their eyes on your back
watching your evey move,
scoring you for style
and berating you for gasping air?
Picture this:
knife to the back,
one quick stab to the heart,
make it all worthwhile now.
Choke it down,
the bitter taste.
It's not so bad now, is it?
like an IV full of air
flowing straight to the heart:
deadly.
Choke it down,
the bitter taste.
It's not so bad now, is it?
Don't try and hide from it.
I'm stalking you like your shadow,
always one foot behind the other,
always one shot behind the other.
Here's my love, baby,
right here in the barrel of this gun.
Choke it down,
the bitter taste.
It's not so bad now, is it?
Make it work, make it work,
the jolly elves in your head
are spinning that sick sweet merry-go-round tune again,
la la la la la.
Can you feel their eyes on your back
watching your evey move,
scoring you for style
and berating you for gasping air?
Picture this:
knife to the back,
one quick stab to the heart,
make it all worthwhile now.
Choke it down,
the bitter taste.
It's not so bad now, is it?
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
This Skin
This Skin
I am not this skin,
this tattered, ragged bag of bones,
these sunken eyes and dirty, chewed-up fingernails.
I’m not these generous curves and long legs,
these thin lips and misshaped knees,
the way I balance in my heels so I don’t fall down.
I’m not the sway of my hips or the bounce in my step,
the fall of my hair in waves down my back,
or the way my eyes used to light up
when he entered the room.
I’m not this earthly vessel,
it’s just here to convey me from one life to the next.
I’m the soul, the complex web of heartstrings,
the anger, the courage, the love, and the fighter within.
I am not this skin,
I am not this face or this weary smile,
I am not these tired, tear-stained eyes.
I am not anything of yours anymore.
I am not this skin,
this tattered, ragged bag of bones,
these sunken eyes and dirty, chewed-up fingernails.
I’m not these generous curves and long legs,
these thin lips and misshaped knees,
the way I balance in my heels so I don’t fall down.
I’m not the sway of my hips or the bounce in my step,
the fall of my hair in waves down my back,
or the way my eyes used to light up
when he entered the room.
I’m not this earthly vessel,
it’s just here to convey me from one life to the next.
I’m the soul, the complex web of heartstrings,
the anger, the courage, the love, and the fighter within.
I am not this skin,
I am not this face or this weary smile,
I am not these tired, tear-stained eyes.
I am not anything of yours anymore.
Enigma
Enigma
Am I worth it?
You’re pondering this again tonight,
I can see the gears turning in your head.
“Is she worth it?”
Why yes, I am,
but what exactly do you see?
I bite off my fingernails one by one,
(masochistic)
methodically though,
that should gain me some points.
I clean obsessively
(well, cleanliness is next to godliness)
and I hate talking on the phone,
unless it’s to someone I know very well
but I’ll talk to myself for hours
(the first sign of insanity).
I can’t live without my music
or my poetry, my grammar, or my books,
add to that my passion for fashion & good looks
(oh, a trendsetter).
Who is she, that girl?
Why is everyone so obsessed with her?
(And why can’t you get her out of your head?)
Am I worth it?
You’re pondering this again tonight,
I can see the gears turning in your head.
“Is she worth it?”
Why yes, I am,
but what exactly do you see?
I bite off my fingernails one by one,
(masochistic)
methodically though,
that should gain me some points.
I clean obsessively
(well, cleanliness is next to godliness)
and I hate talking on the phone,
unless it’s to someone I know very well
but I’ll talk to myself for hours
(the first sign of insanity).
I can’t live without my music
or my poetry, my grammar, or my books,
add to that my passion for fashion & good looks
(oh, a trendsetter).
Who is she, that girl?
Why is everyone so obsessed with her?
(And why can’t you get her out of your head?)
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Your Scent
Your Scent
I buried my face in your chest,
your warm, welcoming scent filling my nostrils to the brim.
This is as close to Heaven as I will ever get,
my brain is taking Polaroids
so I will remember this exact moment when you have gone.
Your arms held me like they’d never let me go,
like you had no indecisions.
So why did you let go?
I buried my face in your chest,
your warm, welcoming scent filling my nostrils to the brim.
This is as close to Heaven as I will ever get,
my brain is taking Polaroids
so I will remember this exact moment when you have gone.
Your arms held me like they’d never let me go,
like you had no indecisions.
So why did you let go?
Stuck
Stuck
Halfway between sleep & consciousness,
suddenly my dream vessel stops in its tracks.
I fear I’m stuck,
like that time we got stuck on Splash Mountain
and we decided to take pictures to pass the time.
Except, I’ve got nothing to pass my time here.
I’m just stuck.
Stuck between my feelings for you
and knowing I have to move on with my life,
since you obviously don’t want me in yours.
Halfway between sleep & consciousness,
I have run off the tracks
and there is nowhere else to go.
I’m out of time,
out of hope,
and out of dumb luck.
And until further notice,
I am definitely stuck.
Halfway between sleep & consciousness,
suddenly my dream vessel stops in its tracks.
I fear I’m stuck,
like that time we got stuck on Splash Mountain
and we decided to take pictures to pass the time.
Except, I’ve got nothing to pass my time here.
I’m just stuck.
Stuck between my feelings for you
and knowing I have to move on with my life,
since you obviously don’t want me in yours.
Halfway between sleep & consciousness,
I have run off the tracks
and there is nowhere else to go.
I’m out of time,
out of hope,
and out of dumb luck.
And until further notice,
I am definitely stuck.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Youth
Youth
All the cover-up in the world couldn’t hide the bruises.
Such a pretty face lost to the shadows,
only fifteen and longing to be older
because that’s what we all want.
Well this is the end isn’t it,
turn the page and watch her fade
til there’s nothing left but tear-stained eyes.
Curled on the ground with her teeth biting her knees,
the words come swiftly
but they don’t come easy.
One penny for your thoughts,
two for a peek down your shirt,
three for a hand groping at a slice of tender girl-flesh.
They didn’t believe her when she told them,
now her mascara’s running,
her mouth stained red
and her eyes blurry from crying.
Lying in her bed, hand seeking her flesh,
he will devour her whole,
and no one will hear her pleas.
All the cover-up in the world couldn’t hide the bruises.
Such a pretty face lost to the shadows,
only fifteen and longing to be older
because that’s what we all want.
Well this is the end isn’t it,
turn the page and watch her fade
til there’s nothing left but tear-stained eyes.
Curled on the ground with her teeth biting her knees,
the words come swiftly
but they don’t come easy.
One penny for your thoughts,
two for a peek down your shirt,
three for a hand groping at a slice of tender girl-flesh.
They didn’t believe her when she told them,
now her mascara’s running,
her mouth stained red
and her eyes blurry from crying.
Lying in her bed, hand seeking her flesh,
he will devour her whole,
and no one will hear her pleas.
Human Sacrifice
Human Sacrifice
Feed the Gods.
Remove my heart
while it still beats,
I cannot stop you.
My arms are tied too tight.
Death will be a welcome release
from this constant pain of life.
So please, claw my eyes out,
sew my lips shut,
shave my head
and stitch me up,
I’m ready now,
I’m ready.
Feed the Gods.
Remove my heart
while it still beats,
I cannot stop you.
My arms are tied too tight.
Death will be a welcome release
from this constant pain of life.
So please, claw my eyes out,
sew my lips shut,
shave my head
and stitch me up,
I’m ready now,
I’m ready.
Peyote
Peyote
Like a bird with a broken wing,
I’m on the point of extinction
because of you.
I’m trying not to care,
my skin is peeling off
I’m shedding my feelings,
slithering like a serpent
through the labyrinth of my heart.
I am not enlightened,
my heart is glass shattered on the ground,
my eyes burn
and my lips sting.
Banish me.
I would rather live alone
than face a world
where you cannot be mine,
where you will not be mine.
Like a bird with a broken wing,
I’m on the point of extinction
because of you.
I’m trying not to care,
my skin is peeling off
I’m shedding my feelings,
slithering like a serpent
through the labyrinth of my heart.
I am not enlightened,
my heart is glass shattered on the ground,
my eyes burn
and my lips sting.
Banish me.
I would rather live alone
than face a world
where you cannot be mine,
where you will not be mine.
Raw Reality
Raw Reality
My skin’s been flayed from the bone,
I’m lying in a pool of my own blood.
Rub salt into my wounds,
I’m so numb I cannot feel it.
Drain me dry,
not a drop left.
Feast on my aura
and leave me to rot.
Let me consume myself,
this continuity
of life and death,
of death and life.
My skin’s been flayed from the bone,
I’m lying in a pool of my own blood.
Rub salt into my wounds,
I’m so numb I cannot feel it.
Drain me dry,
not a drop left.
Feast on my aura
and leave me to rot.
Let me consume myself,
this continuity
of life and death,
of death and life.
Your Plaything
Your Plaything
I am not your plaything,
no, I am not your toy.
You cannot keep me spinning on your string,
just to entertain you
when you get bored with her.
I will not be conquered
and you will not be revered.
I will not lie back
and allow you to break me
anymore.
I am not your plaything,
no, I am not your toy.
You cannot keep me spinning on your string,
just to entertain you
when you get bored with her.
I will not be conquered
and you will not be revered.
I will not lie back
and allow you to break me
anymore.
She Cries
She Cries
Abandoned,
lost,
wounded,
broken.
Her eyes sting with acid tears
and her cheeks are stained blood-red.
With her head in her hands,
she cries.
With her heart in her hands,
she cries.
Broken,
wounded,
lost,
abandoned,
she cries.
Abandoned,
lost,
wounded,
broken.
Her eyes sting with acid tears
and her cheeks are stained blood-red.
With her head in her hands,
she cries.
With her heart in her hands,
she cries.
Broken,
wounded,
lost,
abandoned,
she cries.
Love, Unrequited
Love, Unrequited
Broken glass beneath my feet,
I’m walking on a tightrope
with nothing but air below.
The rope snaps and I tumble down,
nothing to stop me,
nobody moves a muscle
to come to my rescue.
I watch the ground get larger
right in front of my widened eyes.
I open my mouth but there is no sound.
Well, here we go
Broken glass beneath my feet,
I’m walking on a tightrope
with nothing but air below.
The rope snaps and I tumble down,
nothing to stop me,
nobody moves a muscle
to come to my rescue.
I watch the ground get larger
right in front of my widened eyes.
I open my mouth but there is no sound.
Well, here we go
Wounded
Wounded
I am not whole.
Well, I never was to begin with,
but my dear you have shattered me
so far that it is beyond recognition.
I feel like an empty shell,
going about my business
but not really caring,
keeping my head up
when I feel like just breaking down.
I knew it couldn’t be true,
I should have seen it coming.
You were never mine to hold,
no, you were never mine to keep
I am not whole.
Well, I never was to begin with,
but my dear you have shattered me
so far that it is beyond recognition.
I feel like an empty shell,
going about my business
but not really caring,
keeping my head up
when I feel like just breaking down.
I knew it couldn’t be true,
I should have seen it coming.
You were never mine to hold,
no, you were never mine to keep
Bound
Bound
Bind me to your side.
These chains are not too heavy
that I cannot spread my wings,
that I cannot continue my song for you.
I recognize the death in your eyes,
it is coming closer, closer,
and you cannot understand.
Take my hand, it is not so hard,
not so difficult to join hearts
and hands and lips and lives.
Bind me to you.
We are one in spirit.
Bind me to your side.
These chains are not too heavy
that I cannot spread my wings,
that I cannot continue my song for you.
I recognize the death in your eyes,
it is coming closer, closer,
and you cannot understand.
Take my hand, it is not so hard,
not so difficult to join hearts
and hands and lips and lives.
Bind me to you.
We are one in spirit.
Three Laments
Three Laments
1.
I am empty.
A broken cricket-husk,
blowing by in the wind.
I am nothing,
charcoal drawings on night sky,
disappearing,
disappearing.
2.
I cannot have you,
as much as I want to,
as much as I wish to,
as much as you’ve hurt me.
You’ve broken me,
but I still feel you.
Yes, I will always feel you.
3.
The rose withers,
clutched tight in my hand
I release it and it falls,
dead
to the ground.
1.
I am empty.
A broken cricket-husk,
blowing by in the wind.
I am nothing,
charcoal drawings on night sky,
disappearing,
disappearing.
2.
I cannot have you,
as much as I want to,
as much as I wish to,
as much as you’ve hurt me.
You’ve broken me,
but I still feel you.
Yes, I will always feel you.
3.
The rose withers,
clutched tight in my hand
I release it and it falls,
dead
to the ground.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
And I Ran
And I Ran
Outside, the trees are bending,
straining in the tremulous winds.
The breeze sends leaves scattering,
swirling into geometric patterns on the sidewalk,
blowing dead flowers about my feet.
I stop to pluck one from the ground
to place it behind my ear.
The others will call me foolish,
a hopeless romantic,
but this wilting cherry blossom
is the most gorgeous flower
I have ever seen.
I look to the sky,
there is a storm on the horizon
and I can feel it in the wind,
I can see it in the sky.
Paint my eyes over
so I cannot see,
you are blinding me.
“And I ran, I ran so far away”
and you followed.
Outside, the trees are bending,
straining in the tremulous winds.
The breeze sends leaves scattering,
swirling into geometric patterns on the sidewalk,
blowing dead flowers about my feet.
I stop to pluck one from the ground
to place it behind my ear.
The others will call me foolish,
a hopeless romantic,
but this wilting cherry blossom
is the most gorgeous flower
I have ever seen.
I look to the sky,
there is a storm on the horizon
and I can feel it in the wind,
I can see it in the sky.
Paint my eyes over
so I cannot see,
you are blinding me.
“And I ran, I ran so far away”
and you followed.
Chance
Chance
When you pulled me close,
your hands soft on my back,
my head on your shoulder
and your breath on my neck,
so close I could inhale your scent,
all I wanted to do
(more than anything in the world)
was to pull you even closer
and whisper “I love you”
in your ear,
and then press a kiss to your trembling lips,
just to see how you’d react.
When you pulled me close,
your hands soft on my back,
my head on your shoulder
and your breath on my neck,
so close I could inhale your scent,
all I wanted to do
(more than anything in the world)
was to pull you even closer
and whisper “I love you”
in your ear,
and then press a kiss to your trembling lips,
just to see how you’d react.
Jade Empress
Jade Empress
Slanted eyes and quiet smile.
Men fall at her feet with a single glance,
a simple flick of her sleeve
to show a sliver of wrist,
as she elegantly pours the tea.
The clack of her wooden shoes
on the slats of the narrow bridge,
she crosses over running water,
giggling from behind her parasol.
In her boudoir lie her secrets,
as she strips off her silk kimono,
peels away the layers
and wipes the rouge from her lips,
clearing the white from her brow,
nose, cheeks.
She’s perfection of an oriental age,
a vision of the past,
one foot in front of the other
one step at a time.
Slanted eyes and quiet smile.
Men fall at her feet with a single glance,
a simple flick of her sleeve
to show a sliver of wrist,
as she elegantly pours the tea.
The clack of her wooden shoes
on the slats of the narrow bridge,
she crosses over running water,
giggling from behind her parasol.
In her boudoir lie her secrets,
as she strips off her silk kimono,
peels away the layers
and wipes the rouge from her lips,
clearing the white from her brow,
nose, cheeks.
She’s perfection of an oriental age,
a vision of the past,
one foot in front of the other
one step at a time.
Serpentine
Serpentine
Wrap my lips up tight.
They’re bursting with lies,
poised to destroy you,
truths that would rip you in two.See the venom in my eyes?
I’m coiled up, ready to strike,
biding my time
hidden in the grass.
Can’t you hear me hissing?
I am rolling down this hill
and I am not afraid
to take you with me.
Wrap my lips up tight.
They’re bursting with lies,
poised to destroy you,
truths that would rip you in two.See the venom in my eyes?
I’m coiled up, ready to strike,
biding my time
hidden in the grass.
Can’t you hear me hissing?
I am rolling down this hill
and I am not afraid
to take you with me.
All It Would Take
All It Would Take
All it would take
is just one stitch of courage,
just one little kiss
pressed upon your lips
and maybe you’d turn to me and say
“I feel the same”,
or maybe you’d walk away from me
and never talk to me again.
But until I try, I’ll never know.
All it would take
is just one stitch of courage,
just one little kiss
pressed upon your lips
and maybe you’d turn to me and say
“I feel the same”,
or maybe you’d walk away from me
and never talk to me again.
But until I try, I’ll never know.
Stars Collide
Stars Collide
Stars collide
for a moment in time,
I can feel you like a whisper,
your name upon the breeze.
Why did you have to go
and where have you ended up?
The sky is dark
and the flowers have all wilted,
and I am so alone.
Stars collide
for a moment in time,
I can feel you like a whisper,
your name upon the breeze.
Why did you have to go
and where have you ended up?
The sky is dark
and the flowers have all wilted,
and I am so alone.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
City
City
Sunrise.
Day is dawning,
bringing early morning birdsongs
and bustling crowds on first thing coffee runs.
In the city, everything is shining,
there’s a Starbucks on every corner.
The people rush by Central Park,
too hurried to notice
the flowers all in bloom,
too hurried to notice
the leaves crumbling, falling from the trees,
blowing in bright colored swirls ‘round their feet.
City life is too busy,
rushed, jammed tight
as the businesswomen on the subway,
at 7 in the morning,
clutching their heels in one hand
and their briefcase in the other,
too hurried to notice
the snow falling down,
too hurried to notice,
the children skating around the rink in the park,
the tree standing silent,
all ready to be lit.
Too hurried to notice
that life is passing them by.
Sunrise.
Day is dawning,
bringing early morning birdsongs
and bustling crowds on first thing coffee runs.
In the city, everything is shining,
there’s a Starbucks on every corner.
The people rush by Central Park,
too hurried to notice
the flowers all in bloom,
too hurried to notice
the leaves crumbling, falling from the trees,
blowing in bright colored swirls ‘round their feet.
City life is too busy,
rushed, jammed tight
as the businesswomen on the subway,
at 7 in the morning,
clutching their heels in one hand
and their briefcase in the other,
too hurried to notice
the snow falling down,
too hurried to notice,
the children skating around the rink in the park,
the tree standing silent,
all ready to be lit.
Too hurried to notice
that life is passing them by.
Monday Morning
Monday Morning
Monday morning is too early
for bright eyed pupils discussing civilization,
rushing to scribble down their notes.
It is too late to relive the weekend,
reminiscing long nights of dancing,
midnight conversations,
and maybe stealing kissing
in the waning moonlight.
It is too early to enjoy the day,
too late to remember the night.
We are too young,
struggling to be so much older,
so much older.
Monday morning is too early
for bright eyed pupils discussing civilization,
rushing to scribble down their notes.
It is too late to relive the weekend,
reminiscing long nights of dancing,
midnight conversations,
and maybe stealing kissing
in the waning moonlight.
It is too early to enjoy the day,
too late to remember the night.
We are too young,
struggling to be so much older,
so much older.
Words I Never Say
Words I Never Say
Here they are on the tips of my fingers,
every emotion I’ve suppressed.
Here they sit on the tip of my tongue,
every word I’ve been holding back.
My cheeks are bursting with the effort
of keeping everything I feel inside.
Why can’t I just face this like an adult,
put it all out there on display?
Am I really afraid it’ll all blow up in my face,
that you’ll turn and run away from me
and never return?
I hate not being totally honest with you.
I want nothing more than to grab you by the hand,
pull you close up against me and whisper
“I love you”, in your ear.
Here they are on the tips of my fingers,
every emotion I’ve suppressed.
Here they sit on the tip of my tongue,
every word I’ve been holding back.
My cheeks are bursting with the effort
of keeping everything I feel inside.
Why can’t I just face this like an adult,
put it all out there on display?
Am I really afraid it’ll all blow up in my face,
that you’ll turn and run away from me
and never return?
I hate not being totally honest with you.
I want nothing more than to grab you by the hand,
pull you close up against me and whisper
“I love you”, in your ear.
Sorry
Sorry
I’m sorry we have grown too old
to perch on your laps and hang on every word,
that we can no longer distract ourselves
with paper dolls and “green eggs & ham”.
I’m sorry we’ve lost ourselves
to a world of drugs and sex and rock & roll,
breaking the rules and ignoring our elders’ advice.
I’m sorry we’re too scared
to speak up for what we believe in,
that our eyes and ears and lips are closed,
to all the pleas of the world.
I’m sorry we have grown too old
to perch on your laps and hang on every word,
that we can no longer distract ourselves
with paper dolls and “green eggs & ham”.
I’m sorry we’ve lost ourselves
to a world of drugs and sex and rock & roll,
breaking the rules and ignoring our elders’ advice.
I’m sorry we’re too scared
to speak up for what we believe in,
that our eyes and ears and lips are closed,
to all the pleas of the world.
Night
Night
I lift my eyes to the Heavens,
all starlight dancing in my pupils
and moonbeams soft upon my cheek.
The night is young, dear heart,
shall we tear it apart?
I lift my eyes to the Heavens,
all starlight dancing in my pupils
and moonbeams soft upon my cheek.
The night is young, dear heart,
shall we tear it apart?
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
I’d Rather Be A Bitch Than An Ordinary Broken Heart
I’d Rather Be A Bitch Than An Ordinary Broken Heart
broken. broken. broken.
LOST.
enter melancholy music.
enter psychotic heroine.
broken. broken. broken.
exit heart.
exit soul.
LOST. LOST. LOST.
Shield your eyes
the sun is too bright.
broken. broken. broken.
rearrange, rearrange,
danger! danger!
Do not pass GO,
do not collect two hundred dollars.
Proceed directly
to
Jail.
broken. broken. broken.
LOST.
enter melancholy music.
enter psychotic heroine.
broken. broken. broken.
exit heart.
exit soul.
LOST. LOST. LOST.
Shield your eyes
the sun is too bright.
broken. broken. broken.
rearrange, rearrange,
danger! danger!
Do not pass GO,
do not collect two hundred dollars.
Proceed directly
to
Jail.
Sanskrit
Sanskrit
I threw away all your clothes,
trashed your letters and flowers,
silly love notes and such.
I gave away that bear you won me
I couldn’t stand looking at it’s face,
it guilt-tripped me.
I can’t believe your nerve, I can’t even think about it.
So I’ll write Sanskrit on my body
with your old calligraphy pen,
and I’ll never record it anywhere else
so it’ll all wash away in the water
and my genius will be lost to the world.
It’s all your fault.
I threw away all your clothes,
trashed your letters and flowers,
silly love notes and such.
I gave away that bear you won me
I couldn’t stand looking at it’s face,
it guilt-tripped me.
I can’t believe your nerve, I can’t even think about it.
So I’ll write Sanskrit on my body
with your old calligraphy pen,
and I’ll never record it anywhere else
so it’ll all wash away in the water
and my genius will be lost to the world.
It’s all your fault.
Go Kill Your Cousin, It’s Your Duty
Go Kill Your Cousin, It’s Your Duty
Karma.
Your caste demands you take action.
The time is short,
the day is long.
Take up your spear and do your duty,
feelings no longer matter.
Krishna bids you,
come, come,
I will bring you to salvation
but you must go bravely.
In, in, in to battle,
here we will kill,
here we will die.
Oh Arjuna, can you not see?
It is the only way.
Karma.
Your caste demands you take action.
The time is short,
the day is long.
Take up your spear and do your duty,
feelings no longer matter.
Krishna bids you,
come, come,
I will bring you to salvation
but you must go bravely.
In, in, in to battle,
here we will kill,
here we will die.
Oh Arjuna, can you not see?
It is the only way.
I could
I could
I could ruin you.
I could ruin you so good,
rip you in half,
turn you inside out.
I could make you feel so real.
I could make you so alive,
breathe into you,
shock your heart back to its rhythmic beating.
I could be the one to show you
all you’ve ever dreamed about,
I could be your
only
one.
I could ruin you.
I could ruin you so good,
rip you in half,
turn you inside out.
I could make you feel so real.
I could make you so alive,
breathe into you,
shock your heart back to its rhythmic beating.
I could be the one to show you
all you’ve ever dreamed about,
I could be your
only
one.
The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
You quoted Star Wars
and I just laughed,
making up galaxies and Jedi names,
brandishing my lightsaber in the toy aisle at Walmart.
I guess I pushed you away that night though,
cuddling in my bed without you,
until he left and you held me tight
until I fell asleep, safe in your arms
and you watched me breathe.
Two days have gone by since I last saw your face,
my phone stays silent
and my heart stays empty and broken.
I miss you, I miss you,
come back to me.
You quoted Star Wars
and I just laughed,
making up galaxies and Jedi names,
brandishing my lightsaber in the toy aisle at Walmart.
I guess I pushed you away that night though,
cuddling in my bed without you,
until he left and you held me tight
until I fell asleep, safe in your arms
and you watched me breathe.
Two days have gone by since I last saw your face,
my phone stays silent
and my heart stays empty and broken.
I miss you, I miss you,
come back to me.
Remembrance
Remembrance
Once you lay beside me.
I traced your ears, lips, nose
softly, with the tip of my finger,
listening to you breathe.
Now you lay miles from me,
breathing slowly on your own
and not remembering me
and the things we once shared.
I wrap myself in bittersweet memories,
blankets of your scent
that keep me waking at night,
tracing shapes in the darkness,
and wishing you were here.
Once you lay beside me.
I traced your ears, lips, nose
softly, with the tip of my finger,
listening to you breathe.
Now you lay miles from me,
breathing slowly on your own
and not remembering me
and the things we once shared.
I wrap myself in bittersweet memories,
blankets of your scent
that keep me waking at night,
tracing shapes in the darkness,
and wishing you were here.
Goddess
Goddess
Lightning strikes,
splitting the black velvet sky in two.
I watch as she twirls in circles,
spinning raindrops through the air.
Her hair is pure gold in the moonlight,
her skin a milky silver,
moving, changing, flowing,
as she does, through the field.
I am captivated,
she is a goddess of the night
and I am not worthy
to worship at her feet.
Lightning strikes,
splitting the black velvet sky in two.
I watch as she twirls in circles,
spinning raindrops through the air.
Her hair is pure gold in the moonlight,
her skin a milky silver,
moving, changing, flowing,
as she does, through the field.
I am captivated,
she is a goddess of the night
and I am not worthy
to worship at her feet.
Hold
Hold
I held you for a few moments,
just a speck of a second
in the masterpiece of life.
But oh, it was beautiful,
the two of us together,
arms and legs and beating hearts
and the thoughts of love
I cannot say to you.
I held you for a few moments,
just a speck of a second
in the masterpiece of life.
But oh, it was beautiful,
the two of us together,
arms and legs and beating hearts
and the thoughts of love
I cannot say to you.
Til Tonight
Til Tonight
You are transient as the wind,
whistling through my fingers so softly.
I capture you for only a few minutes,
holding you,
so safe I am in your arms,
feeling so beautiful.
But just as fast as you appear,
you are suddenly one,
leaving my arms empty
and my heart longing.
Til tonight, dear heart,
til tonight.
You are transient as the wind,
whistling through my fingers so softly.
I capture you for only a few minutes,
holding you,
so safe I am in your arms,
feeling so beautiful.
But just as fast as you appear,
you are suddenly one,
leaving my arms empty
and my heart longing.
Til tonight, dear heart,
til tonight.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Transformed
Transformed
I am unholy.
See the mark on my forehead?
See the wounds on my throat?
Do you not realize how I shrink away from the light,
how I avoid mirrors
and shun your embraces?
My hands are covered in innocent blood,
I cannot be saved,
I cannot be saved.
I am unholy.
See the mark on my forehead?
See the wounds on my throat?
Do you not realize how I shrink away from the light,
how I avoid mirrors
and shun your embraces?
My hands are covered in innocent blood,
I cannot be saved,
I cannot be saved.
Caricature of Intimacy
Caricature of Intimacy
I lick my lips
and taste my own blood.
Lying on the bathroom floor,
I am helpless.
I cannot move.
My arms feel heavier than all the steel in Manhattan,
I cannot feel my legs
though I know they must be there,
I can see my shoes with the heels broken off,
clothing discarded in a fit of passion,
laying across the bedroom floor.
The mirror is shattered,
my mind struggles to understand.
I cannot remember last night,
I cannot see out of my left eye.
Maybe I’ll just lay here for a while longer,
and taste my own blood.
I lick my lips
and taste my own blood.
Lying on the bathroom floor,
I am helpless.
I cannot move.
My arms feel heavier than all the steel in Manhattan,
I cannot feel my legs
though I know they must be there,
I can see my shoes with the heels broken off,
clothing discarded in a fit of passion,
laying across the bedroom floor.
The mirror is shattered,
my mind struggles to understand.
I cannot remember last night,
I cannot see out of my left eye.
Maybe I’ll just lay here for a while longer,
and taste my own blood.
Starlight
Starlight
Sudden brightness,
sudden heat.
Two lovers entangle in the starlight.
Their heartbeats are music in the night,
all who hear are silent, entranced.
I watch from under my tree cover,
longing for a lover of my own,
feeling oh so alone.
Sudden brightness,
sudden heat.
Two lovers entangle in the starlight.
Their heartbeats are music in the night,
all who hear are silent, entranced.
I watch from under my tree cover,
longing for a lover of my own,
feeling oh so alone.
Hypnotic
Hypnotic
Hypnotize me.
You are like a snake charmer,
I keep my eyes locked on yours.
We are one for this simple moment in time.
I am the dragon within,
the very monster you abhor.
Do not fight me,
for you cannot win.
Just let me take you over,
let me hypnotize you,
with my curves and feminine wiles.
Let me own you.
Hypnotize me.
You are like a snake charmer,
I keep my eyes locked on yours.
We are one for this simple moment in time.
I am the dragon within,
the very monster you abhor.
Do not fight me,
for you cannot win.
Just let me take you over,
let me hypnotize you,
with my curves and feminine wiles.
Let me own you.
Heart Pieces
Heart Pieces
I am tearing my heart into pieces.
It is so much easier to begin with a broken one,
so much easier to just dole out the pieces
to everyone who I feel deserves one.
Well, there’s the piece that is back home,
in the hands of a boy who never really cared
and only pretended he did.
And it beats slowly, oh so slowly,
but he doesn’t feel a thing,
no he doesn’t feel a thing.
Another piece is being offered,
tentatively, fearfully, to another,
one who doesn’t hear it,
one who doesn’t understand,
and one who might not even truly care.
There’s another piece I’m holding now,
contemplating on whether to give it away.
My head keeps telling me, “I don’t know”
and “maybe the signs are wrong”,
but slowly it’s leaving my hands and heading towards his.
The last piece is my own, my very own,
I cannot give it away,
for no one can hold my entire heart in his hands.
I am tearing my heart into pieces.
It is so much easier to begin with a broken one,
so much easier to just dole out the pieces
to everyone who I feel deserves one.
Well, there’s the piece that is back home,
in the hands of a boy who never really cared
and only pretended he did.
And it beats slowly, oh so slowly,
but he doesn’t feel a thing,
no he doesn’t feel a thing.
Another piece is being offered,
tentatively, fearfully, to another,
one who doesn’t hear it,
one who doesn’t understand,
and one who might not even truly care.
There’s another piece I’m holding now,
contemplating on whether to give it away.
My head keeps telling me, “I don’t know”
and “maybe the signs are wrong”,
but slowly it’s leaving my hands and heading towards his.
The last piece is my own, my very own,
I cannot give it away,
for no one can hold my entire heart in his hands.
Your Name
Your Name
I’m not missing you.
I can watch the couples walk by,
oblivious in their absolute bliss,
and not get a single pang of loneliness
and not wish you were here.
I can sleep at night,
yes I can sleep
without dreaming of you even once,
without wishing you were laying here in my arms.
I can walk right by your picture on my wall,
I can sit below it and never feel a thing.
Oh, but all it takes is the mention of your name,
and I fall to pieces all over again.
I’m not missing you.
I can watch the couples walk by,
oblivious in their absolute bliss,
and not get a single pang of loneliness
and not wish you were here.
I can sleep at night,
yes I can sleep
without dreaming of you even once,
without wishing you were laying here in my arms.
I can walk right by your picture on my wall,
I can sit below it and never feel a thing.
Oh, but all it takes is the mention of your name,
and I fall to pieces all over again.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Flayed
Flayed
I peel away your memory,
like flaying skin from bone.
It is not entirely painless.
I dig out the scent of your skin
from where it has collected under my fingernails.
I will ache in the morning,
it is a promise.
Tonight I will scrub and scrub
until my tender skin bleeds,
scrub away your touches, caresses,
and such.
I will draw your kisses from my lips,
like a deadly serum that kept me paralyzed for so long.
I no longer want your poison.
I peel away your memory,
like flaying skin from bone.
It is not entirely painless.
I dig out the scent of your skin
from where it has collected under my fingernails.
I will ache in the morning,
it is a promise.
Tonight I will scrub and scrub
until my tender skin bleeds,
scrub away your touches, caresses,
and such.
I will draw your kisses from my lips,
like a deadly serum that kept me paralyzed for so long.
I no longer want your poison.
Missing You
Missing You
I miss you when the wind blows
soft across my face,
reminding me of your touch,
your hands, your lips
kissing my cheeks, shoulders, nose, lips.
I miss you when the sun shines
warm upon my arms,
reminding me of holding hands
on muggy summer days
and blaring rock music.
I miss you when it rains,
when I’m walking slow through a storm,
face uplifted to the sky,
reminding me of running through uit
with you by my side,
ponchos stuck to our skin
sharing our secret laughter together.
I miss you when I close my eyes
laying lonely in my bed,
reminding me of when once we laid so close,
wrapped up in each other
never wanting to let go.
I miss you when I open my eyes
and you are still not there.
I miss you when the wind blows
soft across my face,
reminding me of your touch,
your hands, your lips
kissing my cheeks, shoulders, nose, lips.
I miss you when the sun shines
warm upon my arms,
reminding me of holding hands
on muggy summer days
and blaring rock music.
I miss you when it rains,
when I’m walking slow through a storm,
face uplifted to the sky,
reminding me of running through uit
with you by my side,
ponchos stuck to our skin
sharing our secret laughter together.
I miss you when I close my eyes
laying lonely in my bed,
reminding me of when once we laid so close,
wrapped up in each other
never wanting to let go.
I miss you when I open my eyes
and you are still not there.
Mesmerized
Mesmerized
The wind is harsh through the trees,
he is watching me from the shadows.
I am naked to his gaze,
there is nowhere to hide
when his eyes are peeled,
he can see through to my very soul.
The candle drips wax down my fingers,
he is liquid fire in its waning light.
I am mesmerized.
The wind is harsh through the trees,
he is watching me from the shadows.
I am naked to his gaze,
there is nowhere to hide
when his eyes are peeled,
he can see through to my very soul.
The candle drips wax down my fingers,
he is liquid fire in its waning light.
I am mesmerized.
Lady Macbeth
Lady Macbeth
There is blood on my hands,
there is guilt on my back.
I can feel the world crumble around me.
It’s my fault, it’s my fault,
I cannot escape
from the demons
that haunt my every move.
My face is pale,
my hands are stained.
I cannot clean away the blood,
the guilt.
“Out, out damn spot!”
Leave me be, leave me be.
I cannot wander forever,
feeling this as I do.
Oh, forgive me, dearest,
I knew not what we’d done.
There is blood on my hands,
there is guilt on my back.
I can feel the world crumble around me.
It’s my fault, it’s my fault,
I cannot escape
from the demons
that haunt my every move.
My face is pale,
my hands are stained.
I cannot clean away the blood,
the guilt.
“Out, out damn spot!”
Leave me be, leave me be.
I cannot wander forever,
feeling this as I do.
Oh, forgive me, dearest,
I knew not what we’d done.
Foolish Hearts
Foolish Hearts
In the darkness there’s a heartbeat,
foolish, foolish.
There is silence where the roads meet,
loveless, loveless.
The wind is cold and cruel,
the night is long and dark.
Not a single leaf is stirred
on the branches of the trees
in the park.
There is terror in the air,
there’s a whisper on the breeze.
Everyone is sleeping, sleeping,
no one scarcely breathes.
The children cry, the children cry,
cold and lonely in their beds.
There’s not a one, there’s not a one,
with comforting thoughts
inside their heads.
The night is young, the night is young,
its creatures are now stirring.
Can’t you hear, can’t you hear,
their hungry, deadly purring?
In the darkness there’s a heartbeat,
foolish, foolish.
There is silence where the roads meet,
loveless, loveless.
The wind is cold and cruel,
the night is long and dark.
Not a single leaf is stirred
on the branches of the trees
in the park.
There is terror in the air,
there’s a whisper on the breeze.
Everyone is sleeping, sleeping,
no one scarcely breathes.
The children cry, the children cry,
cold and lonely in their beds.
There’s not a one, there’s not a one,
with comforting thoughts
inside their heads.
The night is young, the night is young,
its creatures are now stirring.
Can’t you hear, can’t you hear,
their hungry, deadly purring?
Need Me
Need Me
My hands are like butterflies,
floating softly through the air.
I let them flutter
across your back, arms, chest.
Your eyes are deep blue pools,
entire oceans containing multitudes
or maybe giant sparkling sapphires,
gleaming faceted in the sunlight.
I long to hold you closer,
to discover your hidden secrets
and release your inner demons.
I want to taste your lips,
find out if you need me,
if you need me.
My eyes are deep and dark and mysterious,
I am unreadable,
I am ethereal.
You cannot catch me,
you cannot hold me,
I slither through your fingers
like fog through the branches of the trees.
But I will let you have me,
I will not leave your side,
if only you would tell me
you need me,
you need me.
My hands are like butterflies,
floating softly through the air.
I let them flutter
across your back, arms, chest.
Your eyes are deep blue pools,
entire oceans containing multitudes
or maybe giant sparkling sapphires,
gleaming faceted in the sunlight.
I long to hold you closer,
to discover your hidden secrets
and release your inner demons.
I want to taste your lips,
find out if you need me,
if you need me.
My eyes are deep and dark and mysterious,
I am unreadable,
I am ethereal.
You cannot catch me,
you cannot hold me,
I slither through your fingers
like fog through the branches of the trees.
But I will let you have me,
I will not leave your side,
if only you would tell me
you need me,
you need me.
How Lovely
How Lovely
The pendulum swings back,
towards beating hearts
and wide eyes flutter.
She is the swell of violins,
the sweet scent of roses in the summer air,
a breeze through pines in twilight.
Her hands are quick as birds,
flying across her back
as she laces, laces, laces up tight.
The night is young yet,
there’s still time enough for mischief,
for exclamations of lovers in the moonlight.
Her fair cheek is flushed already,
she catches her breath
and loses her balance.
Look how pretty she is,
as she falls down.
Look how lovely,
how lovely.
The pendulum swings back,
towards beating hearts
and wide eyes flutter.
She is the swell of violins,
the sweet scent of roses in the summer air,
a breeze through pines in twilight.
Her hands are quick as birds,
flying across her back
as she laces, laces, laces up tight.
The night is young yet,
there’s still time enough for mischief,
for exclamations of lovers in the moonlight.
Her fair cheek is flushed already,
she catches her breath
and loses her balance.
Look how pretty she is,
as she falls down.
Look how lovely,
how lovely.
Oxygen
Oxygen
Please don’t leave me,
I can’t breathe without you.
I can’t be without you.
You are my oxygen,
my oxygen.
I depend on you too much,
Place too much trust in you.
But you are earth
and wind and sky to me.
You are my deepest ocean,
my longest desert,
my tallest mountain peak
I could never conquer, never scale.
You are air and water and sustenance,
touch and taste and sight.
Don’t leave me now,
I can’t breathe without you,
I can’t be without you.
Please don’t leave me,
I can’t breathe without you.
I can’t be without you.
You are my oxygen,
my oxygen.
I depend on you too much,
Place too much trust in you.
But you are earth
and wind and sky to me.
You are my deepest ocean,
my longest desert,
my tallest mountain peak
I could never conquer, never scale.
You are air and water and sustenance,
touch and taste and sight.
Don’t leave me now,
I can’t breathe without you,
I can’t be without you.
Lament 2
Lament 2
I cannot have him.
He is not so high above me,
but I feel that he is ions away,
so very far away,
even when I hold him in my arms.
I cannot stop myself from falling,
from trusting him completely
like I haven’t trusted anyone
in the longest time,
letting myself open to him,
letting myself love him.
I cannot have him.
He is not so high above me,
but I feel that he is ions away,
so very far away,
even when I hold him in my arms.
I cannot stop myself from falling,
from trusting him completely
like I haven’t trusted anyone
in the longest time,
letting myself open to him,
letting myself love him.
The Rehab Chronicles
The Rehab Chronicles
Day 1 –
She is fragile, frail,
emotionally scarred.
Her hands shake in her lap
as she sits silently in the circle.
Would you like to share?
She makes no sound.
Her arms are bandaged,
her eyes are blackened.
She makes no sound.
The world spins slowly around.
Day 5 –
She is shaking and scared,
hands clasped together tight.
They are all staring at her,
judging her,
she knows it.
The girl beside her tells her story,
now it’s her turn, they turn to her.
She makes no sound.
Her bruises have not faded,
her scars will never heal.
She makes no sound.
The world spins slowly around.
Day 10 –
Her eyes dart around
as she watches the circle
where everyone is hugging,
crying, healing.
She gently unwraps a bandage,
watches it unravel from her arm.
She makes no sound.
The circle has stopped hugging,
they are watching her unravel.
She makes no sound.
The world spins slowly around.
Day 15 –
Her arms are barren,
covered in angry red scars.
She picks softly at a scab.
Her eyes meet another’s across the circle.
Won’t you share with us today?
She makes no sound.
Her eyes are no longer blackened,
they have faded to normal coloring.
Still she makes no sound.
The world spins slowly round.
Day 30 –
She smiles at a new girl,
who sits silently across the circle,
staring at the floor.
She raises her arms and slowly speaks,
“I tried to kill myself,
because my step-father beat me.”
She makes no sound,
the new girl across the circle,
but her eyes dart around.
She makes no sound,
and the world spins slowly around.
Day 1 –
She is fragile, frail,
emotionally scarred.
Her hands shake in her lap
as she sits silently in the circle.
Would you like to share?
She makes no sound.
Her arms are bandaged,
her eyes are blackened.
She makes no sound.
The world spins slowly around.
Day 5 –
She is shaking and scared,
hands clasped together tight.
They are all staring at her,
judging her,
she knows it.
The girl beside her tells her story,
now it’s her turn, they turn to her.
She makes no sound.
Her bruises have not faded,
her scars will never heal.
She makes no sound.
The world spins slowly around.
Day 10 –
Her eyes dart around
as she watches the circle
where everyone is hugging,
crying, healing.
She gently unwraps a bandage,
watches it unravel from her arm.
She makes no sound.
The circle has stopped hugging,
they are watching her unravel.
She makes no sound.
The world spins slowly around.
Day 15 –
Her arms are barren,
covered in angry red scars.
She picks softly at a scab.
Her eyes meet another’s across the circle.
Won’t you share with us today?
She makes no sound.
Her eyes are no longer blackened,
they have faded to normal coloring.
Still she makes no sound.
The world spins slowly round.
Day 30 –
She smiles at a new girl,
who sits silently across the circle,
staring at the floor.
She raises her arms and slowly speaks,
“I tried to kill myself,
because my step-father beat me.”
She makes no sound,
the new girl across the circle,
but her eyes dart around.
She makes no sound,
and the world spins slowly around.
Not Understand Me
Not Understand Me
How do you know
exactly where my secrets lie?
How do you know
exactly how to make me sing?
How do you know
everything I try to hide?
I am not afraid,
I will go blindly into the dark
as long as you stay by my side.
Would you hold me now
if I asked you to,
if I begged you to?
I don’t understand all the things you do.
I wonder, do you not understand me too?
How do you know
exactly where my secrets lie?
How do you know
exactly how to make me sing?
How do you know
everything I try to hide?
I am not afraid,
I will go blindly into the dark
as long as you stay by my side.
Would you hold me now
if I asked you to,
if I begged you to?
I don’t understand all the things you do.
I wonder, do you not understand me too?
Hello Beautiful
Hello Beautiful
Hello beautiful,
won’t you stay with me
and bring color to my life?
Hello wonderful,
oh, won’t you be mine?
I’ve longed for you, for you.
You are what I’ve always wanted,
I’ve been crossing my fingers
hoping against hope
that you might be mine.
She couldn’t love you like I could,
I know it.
Hello beautiful,
won’t you stay with me
and bring color to my life?
Hello beautiful,
won’t you stay with me
and bring color to my life?
Hello wonderful,
oh, won’t you be mine?
I’ve longed for you, for you.
You are what I’ve always wanted,
I’ve been crossing my fingers
hoping against hope
that you might be mine.
She couldn’t love you like I could,
I know it.
Hello beautiful,
won’t you stay with me
and bring color to my life?
Monday, September 11, 2006
What Does It Mean to Be Undead?
What Does It Mean to Be Undead?
What does it mean to be undead?
Do the lungs breathe,
does the heart beat?
Are we human if we never sleep,
waking corpses roaming the earth
like lonely, hungry wolves.
We feed on your life forces,
gaining sustenance
from the veins we suck dry.
What does it mean to be undead?
Do the eyes see,
do the ears hear?
Do we wander like zombies,
aimless and satanic?
Are we alive?
Are we alive?
Or are we something different,
living and breathing and dying and rotting?
What does it mean to be undead?
What does it mean to be undead?
Do the lungs breathe,
does the heart beat?
Are we human if we never sleep,
waking corpses roaming the earth
like lonely, hungry wolves.
We feed on your life forces,
gaining sustenance
from the veins we suck dry.
What does it mean to be undead?
Do the eyes see,
do the ears hear?
Do we wander like zombies,
aimless and satanic?
Are we alive?
Are we alive?
Or are we something different,
living and breathing and dying and rotting?
What does it mean to be undead?
Werewolf.
Werewolf.
Grinning teeth and gleaming eyes,
he crouches in the trees
watching, watching, watching me.
There’s blood on his mouth
and fear in my eyes,
I feel it stirring in the air tonight.
This is the witching hour,
the moon is high,
there’s not one star up in the sky.
My heart beats faster,
I’m giving in.
I cannot fight him.
Grinning teeth and gleaming eyes,
he crouches in the trees
watching, watching, watching me.
There’s blood on his mouth
and fear in my eyes,
I feel it stirring in the air tonight.
This is the witching hour,
the moon is high,
there’s not one star up in the sky.
My heart beats faster,
I’m giving in.
I cannot fight him.
Girl in the Mirror
Girl in the Mirror
I do not recognize the girl in the mirror.
She stares me down,
dark-eyed and bloody-mouthed.
She’s ready to bolt.
She’s ready to leave me.
“I can’t take this anymore.”
I know, I know.
I wipe my lips with the back of my hand,
smearing blood,
and I start to cry.
The rings of bruises round my eyes sting.
And the girl in the mirror
is disappearing,
bit by bit.
I do not recognize the girl in the mirror.
She stares me down,
dark-eyed and bloody-mouthed.
She’s ready to bolt.
She’s ready to leave me.
“I can’t take this anymore.”
I know, I know.
I wipe my lips with the back of my hand,
smearing blood,
and I start to cry.
The rings of bruises round my eyes sting.
And the girl in the mirror
is disappearing,
bit by bit.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
White Daisy
White Daisy
She dwells in secret places,
following shadows,
stalking the night.
Her eyes are coal fire in the darkness,
stealing light from the moon
and making it their own.
She moves in graceful ways,
treading softly,
body like liquid in the moonlight.
She is poison,
and she is perfection,
all fluttering eyelashes
and curves that beg you to touch.
She dwells in secret places,
following shadows,
stalking the night.
Her eyes are coal fire in the darkness,
stealing light from the moon
and making it their own.
She moves in graceful ways,
treading softly,
body like liquid in the moonlight.
She is poison,
and she is perfection,
all fluttering eyelashes
and curves that beg you to touch.
Pulled Under
Pulled Under (a song)
She hides her bruises
with makeup and sleeves.
No one ever sees
the marks he leaves.
Behind her dark glasses,
the tears she cries.
She lies and lies
and no one will realize…
That she’s caught in a cycle,
she’ll never get out.
She’s too scared to notice,
to scream or to shout.
She’s caught in a nightmare,
they’ll never understand.
But she swears that she loves her man.
She’s being pulled under again.
He stumbles towards her
and she shrinks in fear.
Nobody will hear,
nobody will care.
The world is all sleeping,
there’s a cry in the dark.
Her eyes lose their spark,
she is lost to the dark.
She’s caught in a cycle,
she’ll never get out.
She’s too scared to notice,
to scream or to shout.
She’s caught in a nightmare,
they’ll never understand.
But she swears that she loves her man.
She’s being pulled under again.
In the morning the sun will rise,
but there’s a beautiful girl who won’t open her eyes.
Laying all alone on the living room floor,
she won’t have to suffer anymore.
She’s caught in a cycle,
she’ll never get out.
She’s too scared to notice,
to scream or to shout.
She’s caught in a nightmare,
they’ll never understand.
Still she stood by her man.
And now she’s been pulled under…again.
Love and Loss
Love and Loss (a song)
The days stretched on
and the nights flew fast.
We lived in each other,
building memories to last.
The hot summer sun
sunk low in the trees.
You promised yourself,
you said you’d never leave.
We were racing the clock,
we were racing the world.
You were my savior,
and I was your girl.
Oh, it all came so fast,
I just couldn’t believe.
You were gone just like that,
like the leaves from the trees.
The harsh winter rain
froze my tears into snow.
How can I go on without you?
I just don’t know.
You were holding my hand,
you were holding my heart.
We never saw it coming,
but it tore us apart.
I watched you in horror,
as you were taken away
on that busy highway,
in the bright summer day.
We were racing the clock,
we were racing the world.
You were my savior,
and I was your girl.
Oh, it all came so fast,
I just couldn’t believe.
You were gone just like that,
like the leaves from the trees.
The harsh winter rain
froze my tears into snow.
How can I go on without you?
I just don’t know.
Now I’m back home for the first time since then,
and I’m standing by your headstone
just remembering when we were racing the clock,
we were racing the world.
You were always my savior,
I was your baby girl.
Oh, it all came so fast,
I just couldn’t believe.
Oh, how could I go on without you?
Oh, how could you leave?
I’ll never know.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Universe
Universe
Stars burst.
The night sky is alive
with diamonds, rubies,
explosions of amethyst.
The light splits the world in two,
we are nothing but statues
in a living garden.
I see fireworks
painted, on the insides of my eyelids.
You are quiet and solemn
as I trace your cheeks,
your eyes watch the clouds.
The moon is a Pharoah in the sky,
we watch her hold court
over every glowing planet.
We are all just specks
competing for attention,
enough to give us breath.
Stars burst.
The night sky is alive
with diamonds, rubies,
explosions of amethyst.
The light splits the world in two,
we are nothing but statues
in a living garden.
I see fireworks
painted, on the insides of my eyelids.
You are quiet and solemn
as I trace your cheeks,
your eyes watch the clouds.
The moon is a Pharoah in the sky,
we watch her hold court
over every glowing planet.
We are all just specks
competing for attention,
enough to give us breath.
Everything
Everything
You are my only one,
you are the sun in my sky.
You are my one true love,
you give me wings to fly.
You do not understand,
how I believe in you.
You just cannot see
how I love all that you do.
You take my hand,
you take my heart.
You leave my side,
I fall apart.
You are my everything,
the air I breathe,
the blood inside of me.
You are my heartbeat,
you’re all I need,
you are in everything I see.
You are the hand I hold,
you are the one I live for.
You make my heart beat fast,
you are the one I adore.
You came and saved my soul,
I never felt so complete.
I searched for so long,
you are the love of my life.
You take my hand,
you take my heart.
You leave my side,
I fall apart.
You are my everything,
the air I breathe,
the blood inside of me.
You are my heartbeat,
you’re all I need,
you are in everything I see.
You are my only one,
you are the sun in my sky.
You are my one true love,
you give me wings to fly.
You do not understand,
how I believe in you.
You just cannot see
how I love all that you do.
You take my hand,
you take my heart.
You leave my side,
I fall apart.
You are my everything,
the air I breathe,
the blood inside of me.
You are my heartbeat,
you’re all I need,
you are in everything I see.
You are the hand I hold,
you are the one I live for.
You make my heart beat fast,
you are the one I adore.
You came and saved my soul,
I never felt so complete.
I searched for so long,
you are the love of my life.
You take my hand,
you take my heart.
You leave my side,
I fall apart.
You are my everything,
the air I breathe,
the blood inside of me.
You are my heartbeat,
you’re all I need,
you are in everything I see.
Reflections in Religion Class
Reflections in Religion Class
I think to myself,
“Star light, star bright.”
I look outside
and see only sunlight.
I think to myself,
“Love conquers all.”
And yet there’s no hands
to catch me when I fall.
I say to myself,
“We are who we pretend to be.”
I realize that I don’t
even know the real me.
I say to myself,
“Live and let live.”
I open my heart,
I being to give.
“I think to myself,
What a wonderful world.”
I think to myself,
“What a beautiful girl.”
I think to myself,
“Star light, star bright.”
I look outside
and see only sunlight.
I think to myself,
“Love conquers all.”
And yet there’s no hands
to catch me when I fall.
I say to myself,
“We are who we pretend to be.”
I realize that I don’t
even know the real me.
I say to myself,
“Live and let live.”
I open my heart,
I being to give.
“I think to myself,
What a wonderful world.”
I think to myself,
“What a beautiful girl.”
Yours & Mine
Yours & Mine
You do what I can’t,
you see what I don’t.
You learn what you can,
I know what you won’t.
Together we grow,
like flowers on the vine.
I know I am yours,
you know you are mine.
You do what I can’t,
you see what I don’t.
You learn what you can,
I know what you won’t.
Together we grow,
like flowers on the vine.
I know I am yours,
you know you are mine.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Put a smile on your face,
and just let it slide.
Enlightenment is only a tiptoe away,
won’t you step right up,
step right up, folks.
Come see the greatest show on Earth.
You’re a tiger in a cage,
they pay to watch you pace.
Million and millions of faces,
a sea of waving programs,
they pass you by day by day.
You’re a well-oiled machine,
all the bells and whistles,
watch you go!
Beep, beep, beep.
Your heart’s racing faster and faster.
This is the end.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Put a smile on your face,
and just let it slide.
Enlightenment is only a tiptoe away,
won’t you step right up,
step right up, folks.
Come see the greatest show on Earth.
You’re a tiger in a cage,
they pay to watch you pace.
Million and millions of faces,
a sea of waving programs,
they pass you by day by day.
You’re a well-oiled machine,
all the bells and whistles,
watch you go!
Beep, beep, beep.
Your heart’s racing faster and faster.
This is the end.
What Happens When We Die?
What Happens When We Die?
What happens when we die?
Is there a general pulling apart,
breaking down, disintegration
of body and soul and mind.
If your heart stops beating,
do you stop loving?
When your brain stops working,
do you stop understanding?
Is there some brilliant light,
a gradual comprehension,
“Oh this is it”?
Or is it sudden, startling,
a crash of knowledge,
“It’s all over!”
The darkness is overwhelming
my eyelids are too heavy,
I cannot stay awake any longer.
What happens when we die?
Is there a general pulling apart,
breaking down, disintegration
of body and soul and mind.
If your heart stops beating,
do you stop loving?
When your brain stops working,
do you stop understanding?
Is there some brilliant light,
a gradual comprehension,
“Oh this is it”?
Or is it sudden, startling,
a crash of knowledge,
“It’s all over!”
The darkness is overwhelming
my eyelids are too heavy,
I cannot stay awake any longer.
Inescapable
Inescapable
Your eyes are like artwork,
swirling seas that draw me in.
I have no choice,
I have no choice.
What happened to my integrity?
Where did my loyalty go
that used to lie so solidly in his hands?
I’m yearning now to give it all to you.
I cannot surrender my heart,
I’ve pledged it to someone else
but I cannot pull away from you.
I cannot comprehend what draws me so.
You are inescapable.
Your eyes are like artwork,
swirling seas that draw me in.
I have no choice,
I have no choice.
What happened to my integrity?
Where did my loyalty go
that used to lie so solidly in his hands?
I’m yearning now to give it all to you.
I cannot surrender my heart,
I’ve pledged it to someone else
but I cannot pull away from you.
I cannot comprehend what draws me so.
You are inescapable.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Resurrection
Resurrection
From your sleep,
rise, oh rise.
The moon is full,
high in the skies.
Cursed being,
it is time to feast.
Thou swarthy git,
thou wretched beast.
The world is waiting
at your beck and call.
Come, vampires,
rise, one and all.
Thou be not weak,
thou be so strong.
Everlasting,
centuries long.
From your bed of iniquity,
rise from your sleep.
The night is young,
there are promises to keep.
From your sleep,
rise, oh rise.
The moon is full,
high in the skies.
Cursed being,
it is time to feast.
Thou swarthy git,
thou wretched beast.
The world is waiting
at your beck and call.
Come, vampires,
rise, one and all.
Thou be not weak,
thou be so strong.
Everlasting,
centuries long.
From your bed of iniquity,
rise from your sleep.
The night is young,
there are promises to keep.
Silver Kiss
Silver Kiss
He draws me in,
smoldering coal black gaze
suffocating my breath,
I feel I’m drowning.
Lips on my neck,
I feel the promise of his silver kiss
he’s offering me immortality,
a life beside him for eternity.
I am drawn,
he is too strong.
Hypnotized,
I cannot move.
I heave a sigh
but his pale hands hold me fast,
I am falling into the darkness.
I am nothing but his next victim,
a flower withering on the stem.
He has captured me,
I am blessed with pallid face,
my reflection fades
as he pierces my veins.
I feel it flowing through me
as joyful as a curse,
as sweet as honey.
He draws me in,
smoldering coal black gaze
suffocating my breath,
I feel I’m drowning.
Lips on my neck,
I feel the promise of his silver kiss
he’s offering me immortality,
a life beside him for eternity.
I am drawn,
he is too strong.
Hypnotized,
I cannot move.
I heave a sigh
but his pale hands hold me fast,
I am falling into the darkness.
I am nothing but his next victim,
a flower withering on the stem.
He has captured me,
I am blessed with pallid face,
my reflection fades
as he pierces my veins.
I feel it flowing through me
as joyful as a curse,
as sweet as honey.
Cobblestones
Cobblestones
Come here child,
and take my hand.
I know there’s much
you still don’t understand.
This world is wide,
this world is cruel.
But you’ll learn all the answers,
if you just keep your cool.
Open your eyes,
open your heart.
You’ll be makin’ great changes
once you get to the start.
There is no easy road
so try your best to make it
even when you’re fallin’ on the cobblestones,
the cobblestones.
Come here child,
stand by me.
There’s something
that you gotta see.
The sky is big,
the oceans’ too.
And guess what child?
They’re all just waiting for you.
Open your eyes,
open your heart.
You’ll be makin’ great changes
once you get to the start.
There is no easy road
so try your best to make it
even when you’re fallin’ on the cobblestones,
the cobblestones, the cobblestones.
The cob-ob-ob-ble stones.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Captured
Captured
Spiderwebs of doubt
creep throughout, creep throughout,
in and out of my mind
trying to find
another niche, another crevice,
somewhere to bury themselves deep within.
I cannot escape you
but I cannot release you,
my deadly little butterfly
you are poison, you are poison.
Intoxicating, drawing me in,
fascinating, I can’t pull away.
I am dying slowly in your clutches,
captured, captured.
Spiderwebs of doubt
creep throughout, creep throughout,
in and out of my mind
trying to find
another niche, another crevice,
somewhere to bury themselves deep within.
I cannot escape you
but I cannot release you,
my deadly little butterfly
you are poison, you are poison.
Intoxicating, drawing me in,
fascinating, I can’t pull away.
I am dying slowly in your clutches,
captured, captured.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Breathing
Breathing
You’re so close it feels like you’re breathing just for me.
In, out, your breath is warm in my ear,
little soft gasps I feel all the way to the core of me.
I can feel your heartbeat,
I can feel the distance that is threatening,
that is drawing nearer and nearer
and I never thought I’d fall so hard.
You’re so close it feels like you’re breathing just for me.
In, out, your breath is warm in my ear,
little soft gasps I feel all the way to the core of me.
I can feel your heartbeat,
I can feel the distance that is threatening,
that is drawing nearer and nearer
and I never thought I’d fall so hard.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Just a Girl.
Just a Girl.
This story’s getting old.
I swear I’ve told it a thousand different times.
In cinematic, symphonic waves
it circles round my brain.
Vulnerable, insufferable,
beautiful and evil all at once.
I’m everything and nothing,
a butterfly and a venomous snake,
curled in the grass
and biding my time.
I, I, I,
am very different from you, you, you.
See, in this equation,
I am X and you are Y
But we are not solving for anything.
We will not set us equal and change the signs,
I will not become just like you.
For, you see, I am me.
I am liquid, solid, gas,
ethereal & ephemeral,
radiant and awe-inspiring,
but still so very fragile and unlovable.
This story’s getting old.
I swear I’ve told it a thousand different times.
In cinematic, symphonic waves
it circles round my brain.
Vulnerable, insufferable,
beautiful and evil all at once.
I’m everything and nothing,
a butterfly and a venomous snake,
curled in the grass
and biding my time.
I, I, I,
am very different from you, you, you.
See, in this equation,
I am X and you are Y
But we are not solving for anything.
We will not set us equal and change the signs,
I will not become just like you.
For, you see, I am me.
I am liquid, solid, gas,
ethereal & ephemeral,
radiant and awe-inspiring,
but still so very fragile and unlovable.
All I Need.
All I Need.
You make my legs shake.
I am nothing but Jello in your arms.
Kiss me now, I fear
your touch is the only way to keep me from falling.
Well, I guess I've fallen anyways,
for your eyes and your smile
and the way you wrap me up so tight
I cannot move, I cannot breathe.
I don't need to.
The rest of the world doesn't matter,
it never mattered.
Don't you know you're the only thing
that keeps me sane?
Don't you know you're the one,
the only one I've ever needed
more than oxygen, more than air?
I'll breathe you in
you're all I need.
You make my legs shake.
I am nothing but Jello in your arms.
Kiss me now, I fear
your touch is the only way to keep me from falling.
Well, I guess I've fallen anyways,
for your eyes and your smile
and the way you wrap me up so tight
I cannot move, I cannot breathe.
I don't need to.
The rest of the world doesn't matter,
it never mattered.
Don't you know you're the only thing
that keeps me sane?
Don't you know you're the one,
the only one I've ever needed
more than oxygen, more than air?
I'll breathe you in
you're all I need.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Experiment.
Experiment.
Love is an experiment.
A combination of two hearts,
and a pair of scientists crossing their fingers
and hoping the reaction isn’t an explosion.
A pair of chemicals
(marked, highly combustible)
mixed together lightly in a beaker.
Add compassion, honesty, truth,
and, of course, chemistry.
Shake well.
Don’t forget your gloves
(be careful when handling,
hearts are fragile,
made of glass).
Love is an experiment.
A combination of two hearts,
and a pair of scientists crossing their fingers
and hoping the reaction isn’t an explosion.
A pair of chemicals
(marked, highly combustible)
mixed together lightly in a beaker.
Add compassion, honesty, truth,
and, of course, chemistry.
Shake well.
Don’t forget your gloves
(be careful when handling,
hearts are fragile,
made of glass).
Untitled.
I hate the way you look at me as if I'm something special.
I know I never really mattered,
I know you lied your way into bed every time.
Why should now be any different?
We're still a mess of hips and hands,
and the hearts that you keep breaking.
I know I never really mattered,
I know you lied your way into bed every time.
Why should now be any different?
We're still a mess of hips and hands,
and the hearts that you keep breaking.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Not Over You.
Not Over You.
I’m still not over you.
I’m still not ready to say
“I’m doing okay”.
My heart hasn’t mended.
We’re just friends and I’m so empty.
I only wanted to make you feel
like you were the only one.
Did I accomplish it?
Did I make you feel needed,
did I make you feel loved?
Was I ever enough for you?
I’m still not over you.
I’m still not ready to say
“I’m doing okay”.
My heart hasn’t mended.
We’re just friends and I’m so empty.
I only wanted to make you feel
like you were the only one.
Did I accomplish it?
Did I make you feel needed,
did I make you feel loved?
Was I ever enough for you?
Think of Me.
Think of Me.
When you hear Wonderwall,
I hope you think the front seat of my car
and the way you couldn't stop smiling
when you looked into my eyes.
When you think Breathe,
I hope you think of me
singing my heart out in the only way I could,
the only way I found to let you in.
When you hear a love song,
I hope you think of me.
When you hear Wonderwall,
I hope you think the front seat of my car
and the way you couldn't stop smiling
when you looked into my eyes.
When you think Breathe,
I hope you think of me
singing my heart out in the only way I could,
the only way I found to let you in.
When you hear a love song,
I hope you think of me.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Hopeless Romantic
Hopeless Romantic
I’m just a modern-day Juliet,
searching for her Romeo.
Just another in a sea of faces
striving to be recognized as special,
by that special one.
I fight against a stream of heartbreaks,
each one worse than the last
leading me towards that well of despair.
I’m just a damsel in distress waiting, waiting.
Waiting for my prince
to ride up on his cliché white horse,
and save me from me.
So call me hopelessly hopeless,
because I’m head over heels
in love with love.
I’m just a modern-day Juliet,
searching for her Romeo.
Just another in a sea of faces
striving to be recognized as special,
by that special one.
I fight against a stream of heartbreaks,
each one worse than the last
leading me towards that well of despair.
I’m just a damsel in distress waiting, waiting.
Waiting for my prince
to ride up on his cliché white horse,
and save me from me.
So call me hopelessly hopeless,
because I’m head over heels
in love with love.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Heart of Mine.
Heart of Mine.
You have stolen my heart,
and even though you ripped me apart
it seems you forgot to give it back to me.
I could never be good enough,
so maybe you should just keep it as a memento,
a trinket for you to press into your pocket
and forget about entirely.
You have turned my world completely upside down,
I never knew I cared so much.
Maybe I’m better off without that heart of mine.
You have stolen my heart,
and even though you ripped me apart
it seems you forgot to give it back to me.
I could never be good enough,
so maybe you should just keep it as a memento,
a trinket for you to press into your pocket
and forget about entirely.
You have turned my world completely upside down,
I never knew I cared so much.
Maybe I’m better off without that heart of mine.
Love Lessons.
A Lola Poem.
Lola hands me a tissue & two aspirin.
“Here, it’ll make you feel better.”
Nothing can make me feel better,
my heart’s been ripped out of my chest.
“I know. But time will heal it.”
I just stare at her.
You don’t know that,
you don’t know anything about love.
Her eyes are wide and white,
mine are red and bleary.
We stare at each other,
two halves of the same whole.
One heartbeat but two entirely different people.
She is so naïve, so new to the world,
and I am so hurt, so jaded.
She takes my hand.
“You’re right. I don’t know.
But maybe you can teach me.”
Lola hands me a tissue & two aspirin.
“Here, it’ll make you feel better.”
Nothing can make me feel better,
my heart’s been ripped out of my chest.
“I know. But time will heal it.”
I just stare at her.
You don’t know that,
you don’t know anything about love.
Her eyes are wide and white,
mine are red and bleary.
We stare at each other,
two halves of the same whole.
One heartbeat but two entirely different people.
She is so naïve, so new to the world,
and I am so hurt, so jaded.
She takes my hand.
“You’re right. I don’t know.
But maybe you can teach me.”
Why Did You Love Me For So Long?
Why Did You Love Me For So Long?
Why did you love me for so long?
You held my hand and looked into my eyes,
and I couldn’t help but wonder
just what it is you saw.
My hair isn’t long & blonde,
my body isn’t slim and graceful as a willow tree.
I cannot mold myself to the ways of the fashion zombies,
much as I try, hiding behind my oversized shades
striving to achieve perfection.
Every time you kissed my lips
I was wondering,
is this real? Am I dreaming?
That time in the car
when I sang to you in my clear voice,
every note resounding through the front seat.
I meant every word.
You sang back to me,
“After all, you’re my wonderwall,”
and now I can’t listen to that song
without seeing your deep brown eyes gazing into mine,
without feeling your lips on my shoulder.
Why did you love me for so long,
and where did it all go?
When did you decide there wasn’t a connection any longer?
When did it become so clear
that you could no longer pretend,
could no longer deny?
Why didn’t I ever see it coming?
Why did you love me for so long?
You held my hand and looked into my eyes,
and I couldn’t help but wonder
just what it is you saw.
My hair isn’t long & blonde,
my body isn’t slim and graceful as a willow tree.
I cannot mold myself to the ways of the fashion zombies,
much as I try, hiding behind my oversized shades
striving to achieve perfection.
Every time you kissed my lips
I was wondering,
is this real? Am I dreaming?
That time in the car
when I sang to you in my clear voice,
every note resounding through the front seat.
I meant every word.
You sang back to me,
“After all, you’re my wonderwall,”
and now I can’t listen to that song
without seeing your deep brown eyes gazing into mine,
without feeling your lips on my shoulder.
Why did you love me for so long,
and where did it all go?
When did you decide there wasn’t a connection any longer?
When did it become so clear
that you could no longer pretend,
could no longer deny?
Why didn’t I ever see it coming?
Monday, August 07, 2006
This Is Me.
This Is Me.
This is me.
This is all my insecurities,
laid bare to your scrutiny.
This is me
tall as a willow tree,
striving just to be
as strong as I need be.
This is me.
This is every inch of me,
every cell screaming to be free.
This is me.
I am everything you see,
all this glory,
all this tragedy.
This is me,
graceful as I’ll ever be.
I don’t tiptoe around quietly.
This is me,
just beginning to leave,
leave it all behind me.
This is me
soaring free.
This is all I need to be.
It all fits so perfectly,
love and hate and envy.
This is me.
This is me.
This is all my insecurities,
laid bare to your scrutiny.
This is me
tall as a willow tree,
striving just to be
as strong as I need be.
This is me.
This is every inch of me,
every cell screaming to be free.
This is me.
I am everything you see,
all this glory,
all this tragedy.
This is me,
graceful as I’ll ever be.
I don’t tiptoe around quietly.
This is me,
just beginning to leave,
leave it all behind me.
This is me
soaring free.
This is all I need to be.
It all fits so perfectly,
love and hate and envy.
This is me.
Worthless.
Worthless.
I am worthless.
Just a piece of gaudy costume jewelry
laying abandoned in the gutter,
ignored by passerby.
I am ugly,
never beautiful enough
to capture anyone’s attention,
not beautiful enough
to warrant any kind of love.
I am broken.
Broken-hearted,
broken-spirited,
broken-eyed.
Can’t you see the blood soaking my shirt
from the lips I bite so hard,
just to hold back the things I cannot say?
Can’t you see the hurt in my eyes
when you say you don’t love me anymore?
I am worthless.
Just a piece of gaudy costume jewelry
laying abandoned in the gutter,
ignored by passerby.
I am ugly,
never beautiful enough
to capture anyone’s attention,
not beautiful enough
to warrant any kind of love.
I am broken.
Broken-hearted,
broken-spirited,
broken-eyed.
Can’t you see the blood soaking my shirt
from the lips I bite so hard,
just to hold back the things I cannot say?
Can’t you see the hurt in my eyes
when you say you don’t love me anymore?
Bleeding.
Bleeding.
I thought you could be the one,
the one to rescue me
and make me feel whole again.
I was so broken,
mistrusting and paranoid,
one eye on the door at all times
even when wrapped in your arms.
But I gave in to you,
I let you have my heart
I let you have everything I am,
placing my total trust in someone
who broke my heart every time.
And yet I fell for every line you fed me,
I fell for your smile
and the soft touch of your hand,
hoping it would mend
that we could keep it alive.
But it all fell apart around me,
the shattered pieces of our love
raining down and leaving me bleeding.
I thought you could be the one,
the one to rescue me
and make me feel whole again.
I was so broken,
mistrusting and paranoid,
one eye on the door at all times
even when wrapped in your arms.
But I gave in to you,
I let you have my heart
I let you have everything I am,
placing my total trust in someone
who broke my heart every time.
And yet I fell for every line you fed me,
I fell for your smile
and the soft touch of your hand,
hoping it would mend
that we could keep it alive.
But it all fell apart around me,
the shattered pieces of our love
raining down and leaving me bleeding.
Over.
Over.
Well I guess it’s really over,
there’s nothing left to say.
I feel tears form at the corners of my eyes.
I blink them away slowly,
one by one.
I thought I could be the one to fix you,
to make you see the light,
but I guess I wasn’t the one for you.
I wasn’t what you needed.
I can’t describe the pain inside,
I won’t even try,
it hurts too much to dwell on it.
I don’t want to be just friends,
I don’t want to talk it out
around and around in circles,
talking about worthless things
that never mattered.
I never mattered.
Well I guess it’s really over,
there’s nothing left to say.
I feel tears form at the corners of my eyes.
I blink them away slowly,
one by one.
I thought I could be the one to fix you,
to make you see the light,
but I guess I wasn’t the one for you.
I wasn’t what you needed.
I can’t describe the pain inside,
I won’t even try,
it hurts too much to dwell on it.
I don’t want to be just friends,
I don’t want to talk it out
around and around in circles,
talking about worthless things
that never mattered.
I never mattered.
Escape.
Escape.
You’re like the wind,
slipping out between my fingers
unable to be captured.
I cannot keep you,
I cannot grasp you.
You’re something so intangible,
shape shifting & mysterious.
I try to catch you,
to place you under glass,
to keep you close to my heart always.
I can’t. I can’t.
No matter how fast I run,
you’re always just out of reach,
stretching beyond my fingertips.
Why do you always escape me?
You’re like the wind,
slipping out between my fingers
unable to be captured.
I cannot keep you,
I cannot grasp you.
You’re something so intangible,
shape shifting & mysterious.
I try to catch you,
to place you under glass,
to keep you close to my heart always.
I can’t. I can’t.
No matter how fast I run,
you’re always just out of reach,
stretching beyond my fingertips.
Why do you always escape me?
Sleep, My Darling
Sleep, My Darling
Sleep, my darling.
You are a thousand miles away
but you feel so close tonight.
I twist and turn under a cocoon of blankets,
the sound of car horns
and ambulance sirens ringing in my ears,
while you sleep so soundly
in the quiet countryside.
I will miss you every second I am gone,
every fiber of my being reaching,
stretching home to you.
I will come home to you.
Sleep, my darling.
You are a thousand miles away
but you feel so close tonight.
I twist and turn under a cocoon of blankets,
the sound of car horns
and ambulance sirens ringing in my ears,
while you sleep so soundly
in the quiet countryside.
I will miss you every second I am gone,
every fiber of my being reaching,
stretching home to you.
I will come home to you.
Vision.
Vision.
Late last night it came to me,
a vision floating in the dark blackness of the sky.
There among the stars I saw my answer,
The answer to life,
why we’re here on this planet
why we work so hard to stay.
I couldn’t understand it,
my vision was blurred and hazy.
But the words stayed imprinted in my mind.
“In the absence of love,
there is nothing worth fighting for.”
In a world with no love,
we would die,
we would die.
Late last night it came to me,
a vision floating in the dark blackness of the sky.
There among the stars I saw my answer,
The answer to life,
why we’re here on this planet
why we work so hard to stay.
I couldn’t understand it,
my vision was blurred and hazy.
But the words stayed imprinted in my mind.
“In the absence of love,
there is nothing worth fighting for.”
In a world with no love,
we would die,
we would die.
Connecting
Connecting
Connection, connection.
We combine,
we become more.
More than just two beings,
two hearts beating,
two sets of lungs gasping for air.
More than four hands grasping,
hair hanging in my face
you push away with trembling fingers,
eyes locking in a stare.
I float above us,
I watch us become one
until I’m brought shuddering back to reality,
waking up to an empty room.
Connection, connection.
We combine,
we become more.
More than just two beings,
two hearts beating,
two sets of lungs gasping for air.
More than four hands grasping,
hair hanging in my face
you push away with trembling fingers,
eyes locking in a stare.
I float above us,
I watch us become one
until I’m brought shuddering back to reality,
waking up to an empty room.
Fake.
Fake.
Porcelain.
She is porcelain.
A china doll,
a paper plaything.
A shiny glass bauble
on a golden charm bracelet,
made to be envied
made to be cherished.
He puts her up on a pedestal,
locked away in a display case
under bright spotlights,
for everyone to see
for everyone to wish they had.
She paints her smile on,
plastic eyes
button nose,
cold hands.
A slice of perfection,
the epitome of beauty
and the envy of all.
She is so gorgeous,
she is so fake.
Porcelain.
She is porcelain.
A china doll,
a paper plaything.
A shiny glass bauble
on a golden charm bracelet,
made to be envied
made to be cherished.
He puts her up on a pedestal,
locked away in a display case
under bright spotlights,
for everyone to see
for everyone to wish they had.
She paints her smile on,
plastic eyes
button nose,
cold hands.
A slice of perfection,
the epitome of beauty
and the envy of all.
She is so gorgeous,
she is so fake.
Fighter
Fighter
Regret cuts through her like a knife,
like the shards of glass she picks up off the floor,
in the aftermath of the fight
that tore her world apart.
“I won’t cry,” she tells herself,
“I won’t allow him the pleasure
of seeing me break.”
Inside her heart has been reduced to
nothing but broken seams,
and smashed plastic parts.
Her hands are birds with broken wings,
her eyes are painted on,
so hollow.
She faces him with bruises on her arms
and blood on her lips.
She faces him with tiger’s fangs
and the courage of a lion.
Regret cuts through her like a knife,
like the shards of glass she picks up off the floor,
in the aftermath of the fight
that tore her world apart.
“I won’t cry,” she tells herself,
“I won’t allow him the pleasure
of seeing me break.”
Inside her heart has been reduced to
nothing but broken seams,
and smashed plastic parts.
Her hands are birds with broken wings,
her eyes are painted on,
so hollow.
She faces him with bruises on her arms
and blood on her lips.
She faces him with tiger’s fangs
and the courage of a lion.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Like Vines.
Like Vines.
Wild-eyed, pirate-smiled,
her hands are birds struggling to be free.
She trails her fingertips over his mouth
throws back her head
and laughs like a church bell.
Their chests rise and fall in sync,
as his eyes blink in slow motion
she charts new pathways
in his smooth expanse of skin.
He wraps his fingers in hers,
like vines intertwined,
they lie silent together
where every breath counts.
Wild-eyed, pirate-smiled,
her hands are birds struggling to be free.
She trails her fingertips over his mouth
throws back her head
and laughs like a church bell.
Their chests rise and fall in sync,
as his eyes blink in slow motion
she charts new pathways
in his smooth expanse of skin.
He wraps his fingers in hers,
like vines intertwined,
they lie silent together
where every breath counts.
Heart String
Heart String
Heartbeat, heartbeat,
your voice on the line
sends me spinning through the night sky,
I could capture the stars.
Every word makes me want to grab you,
and pull you through the receiver,
so I can hold you all night long.
I cannot believe you’ve come back to me,
like a butterfly I captured and set free.
I couldn’t be happier.
My heart’s like a balloon
floating up to the ceiling,
I’m grasping for heart strings,
to try and keep it from soaring away,
to find you wherever you are.
Heartbeat, heartbeat,
your voice on the line
sends me spinning through the night sky,
I could capture the stars.
Every word makes me want to grab you,
and pull you through the receiver,
so I can hold you all night long.
I cannot believe you’ve come back to me,
like a butterfly I captured and set free.
I couldn’t be happier.
My heart’s like a balloon
floating up to the ceiling,
I’m grasping for heart strings,
to try and keep it from soaring away,
to find you wherever you are.
Can’t Get Any Worse
Can’t Get Any Worse
She wrings her hands,
pale and shaking,
the tears flowing slowly
down her face and into the ocean.
Her form is still,
standing quiet on the sand
watching the tide wash in.
Lonely. Lonely. Lonely.
The waves seem to whispers
sad promises of love long gone.
She’s so lost without him,
teetering on the edge of insanity
hoping for some bit of escape.
Dry your eyes,
it can only get better.
It sure can’t get any worse.
She wrings her hands,
pale and shaking,
the tears flowing slowly
down her face and into the ocean.
Her form is still,
standing quiet on the sand
watching the tide wash in.
Lonely. Lonely. Lonely.
The waves seem to whispers
sad promises of love long gone.
She’s so lost without him,
teetering on the edge of insanity
hoping for some bit of escape.
Dry your eyes,
it can only get better.
It sure can’t get any worse.
Drop
Drop
I can’t just turn off my feelings.
I’m like a drippy water faucet,
they leak out drop by drop.
I never understood breaks.
Heart breaks, love breaks,
I’ll never get it.
I don’t understand much,
like how love can fade
or how you can be so sure of your feelings
but change your mind so fast.
I can’t just turn off my feelings.
I’m like a drippy water faucet,
they leak out drop by drop.
I never understood breaks.
Heart breaks, love breaks,
I’ll never get it.
I don’t understand much,
like how love can fade
or how you can be so sure of your feelings
but change your mind so fast.
Volatile.
Volatile.
Why can’t I feel anything
for anyone other than you?
Yes I know it’s over,
but I still can’t believe it.
I can’t think about it.
You told me not to cry,
well I’m trying, you know,
I’m staving it off
with thoughts of everything you said.
I’m stubborn,
and you’re cold.
We’re just so volatile.
Why can’t I feel anything
for anyone other than you?
Yes I know it’s over,
but I still can’t believe it.
I can’t think about it.
You told me not to cry,
well I’m trying, you know,
I’m staving it off
with thoughts of everything you said.
I’m stubborn,
and you’re cold.
We’re just so volatile.
Feel.
Feel.
“I just want to break you down so badly.”
I want you to feel exactly like I do.
I want you to hurt,
to feel the sting your words leave.
Why do I feel like I’m in love with a robot?
Sometimes you just seem so cold.
I don’t understand
how people can claim they’re in love
when they don’t even talk,
when they don’t even feel.
I want to break through,
to get to you,
to get to you.
“I just want to break you down so badly.”
I want you to feel exactly like I do.
I want you to hurt,
to feel the sting your words leave.
Why do I feel like I’m in love with a robot?
Sometimes you just seem so cold.
I don’t understand
how people can claim they’re in love
when they don’t even talk,
when they don’t even feel.
I want to break through,
to get to you,
to get to you.
Locket.
Locket.
Could I keep you inside my locket,
close to my heart
where no one can steal you away?
Would you be content
just being with me,
would you just long for freedom?
I can’t be so lonely forever,
sleeping with the phone in my hand
praying that you’ll call.
I cannot be the cold one,
the one who never shows
that she actually cares.
I need to know if you feel anything at all.
Could I keep you inside my locket,
close to my heart
where no one can steal you away?
Would you be content
just being with me,
would you just long for freedom?
I can’t be so lonely forever,
sleeping with the phone in my hand
praying that you’ll call.
I cannot be the cold one,
the one who never shows
that she actually cares.
I need to know if you feel anything at all.
Keep It Together
Keep It Together
Breathe. Breathe.
Deeper. Slower.
Don’t let it get to you.
This time will be different,
this time will be different.
No, no. Don’t cry.
Blink back those tears.
The emotions overcome,
the emotions overcome.
You can stay strong,
I have faith in you.
There is nowhere else to turn,
you have no other choice.
Breathe. Breathe.
Deeper. Slower.
You’ll get it right in the end.
Breathe. Breathe.
Deeper. Slower.
Don’t let it get to you.
This time will be different,
this time will be different.
No, no. Don’t cry.
Blink back those tears.
The emotions overcome,
the emotions overcome.
You can stay strong,
I have faith in you.
There is nowhere else to turn,
you have no other choice.
Breathe. Breathe.
Deeper. Slower.
You’ll get it right in the end.
The Break-Up (July 17, 2006)
The Break-Up (July 17th, 2006)
So there it is,
so there it goes.
Shattered pieces of what we were
scattered on the floor.
I guess we tried
but it wasn’t enough,
well isn’t that how it ends up?
I try to ignore the memories,
because letting them rise to the surface
would absolutely break me.
You say you don’t know how to feel.
Okay, I’ll let you go
to figure it out once and for all.
I’ll be waiting.
So there it is,
so there it goes.
Shattered pieces of what we were
scattered on the floor.
I guess we tried
but it wasn’t enough,
well isn’t that how it ends up?
I try to ignore the memories,
because letting them rise to the surface
would absolutely break me.
You say you don’t know how to feel.
Okay, I’ll let you go
to figure it out once and for all.
I’ll be waiting.
This is How It Goes
This is How It Goes
Blink. Blink. Open. Shut.
Breathe. Breathe. In. out.
Don’t you dare cry,
better to hold it all inside.
Never let them know your feelings,
don’t ever let them show.
Lonely is not an option,
living is not an option.
Not an option,
not an option,
not an option.
Blink. Blink. Open. Shut.
Breathe. Breathe. In. out.
Don’t you dare cry,
better to hold it all inside.
Never let them know your feelings,
don’t ever let them show.
Lonely is not an option,
living is not an option.
Not an option,
not an option,
not an option.
Being Me.
Being Me.
These four walls hold me prisoner.
I just can’t escape the thoughts inside my head,
they keep telling me
you don’t care about me.
I can’t make them stop,
I can’t get away
no matter how hard I bang my head.
Every move I make,
leads me closer to the edge,
I can’t stand being me.
These four walls hold me prisoner.
I just can’t escape the thoughts inside my head,
they keep telling me
you don’t care about me.
I can’t make them stop,
I can’t get away
no matter how hard I bang my head.
Every move I make,
leads me closer to the edge,
I can’t stand being me.
Butterfly.
Butterfly.
You swim through my mind
like a fish through the ocean,
but I won’t try to capture you this time.
I had you once, trapped in a jar.
A beautiful butterfly longing to be free.
I opened my hands
and watched you fly away,
off into the endless sea of blue sky
so free.
Now I’m waiting for you
to fly back to me.
You swim through my mind
like a fish through the ocean,
but I won’t try to capture you this time.
I had you once, trapped in a jar.
A beautiful butterfly longing to be free.
I opened my hands
and watched you fly away,
off into the endless sea of blue sky
so free.
Now I’m waiting for you
to fly back to me.
My Angel.
My Angel.
I used to think you were my angel.
Now I know you have no wings,
there is no halo above your head.
There’s so much left unsaid,
almost too much to try and mend this rift.
It feels as wide as the ocean.
Every day that passes,
slow and uncertain,
is like torture to my heart.
I feel you growing more distant.
I don’t know how to stop it.
I used to think you were my angel.
Now I know you have no wings,
there is no halo above your head.
There’s so much left unsaid,
almost too much to try and mend this rift.
It feels as wide as the ocean.
Every day that passes,
slow and uncertain,
is like torture to my heart.
I feel you growing more distant.
I don’t know how to stop it.
She
She
She used to be so perfect,
before the liquor and the love
and the drunken confessions in the moonlight.
She used to be your girl,
before the incident and the blow-ups,
and the words neither of you could take back.
She used to have it all,
lyrics penned about her captivating smile
and the comfort of knowing
that the world was always on her side.
She sits alone and wonders
how it all went wrong,
and every day that passes by
just leaves her more confused.
She used to be so perfect.
She had an entire world at her feet,
lit up like candlelight in the darkness.
Now where has it all gone?
She used to be so perfect,
before the liquor and the love
and the drunken confessions in the moonlight.
She used to be your girl,
before the incident and the blow-ups,
and the words neither of you could take back.
She used to have it all,
lyrics penned about her captivating smile
and the comfort of knowing
that the world was always on her side.
She sits alone and wonders
how it all went wrong,
and every day that passes by
just leaves her more confused.
She used to be so perfect.
She had an entire world at her feet,
lit up like candlelight in the darkness.
Now where has it all gone?
Incurable.
Incurable.
Who could ever learn to love a beast?
We are not the cure,
we are the disease
killing off whoever stands in our path,
undiagnosable, incurable.
Yes, we will take you down,
like traps laid in the forest.
Be careful where you step.
Who could ever learn to love a beast?
We are not the cure,
we are the disease
killing off whoever stands in our path,
undiagnosable, incurable.
Yes, we will take you down,
like traps laid in the forest.
Be careful where you step.
The End.
The End.
Here is the end.
I’ve run out of blank pages
and I’ll start over once again.
I’m signing off,
I’m signing my life away.
I’m just a girl
with an overactive imagination
and a pen in hand,
and too much free time.
But this girl’s got the gift of rhyme.
Yeah, she might screw up with love,
but she sure spins a great story.
Here is the end.
I’ve run out of blank pages
and I’ll start over once again.
I’m signing off,
I’m signing my life away.
I’m just a girl
with an overactive imagination
and a pen in hand,
and too much free time.
But this girl’s got the gift of rhyme.
Yeah, she might screw up with love,
but she sure spins a great story.
Lion
Lion
She’s like a lion,
bushy-haired
and iron-clawed.
With bright red lips
and smoke-filled eyes,
she takes it with a toothy smile.
You cannot break the girl
who cares nothing for you.
She’ll flick her paw
and lay you open.
You’ll never see it coming.
She’s like a lion,
bushy-haired
and iron-clawed.
With bright red lips
and smoke-filled eyes,
she takes it with a toothy smile.
You cannot break the girl
who cares nothing for you.
She’ll flick her paw
and lay you open.
You’ll never see it coming.
Explore.
Explore.
Her lips are like morphine.
She draws you in
with burning eyes,
like cigarettes in the night.
A flick of the wrist,
and she has you on your knees,
begging for a chance.
She lights a cigarette,
blows ring around your face
and smiles at your expression.
She just might break you,
and she just might burn you
but she just might save you
if you let her try.
She’s all diamond rings
and lace in secret places,
she guides your hand to explore.
With her blessing,
you’ll explore.
Her lips are like morphine.
She draws you in
with burning eyes,
like cigarettes in the night.
A flick of the wrist,
and she has you on your knees,
begging for a chance.
She lights a cigarette,
blows ring around your face
and smiles at your expression.
She just might break you,
and she just might burn you
but she just might save you
if you let her try.
She’s all diamond rings
and lace in secret places,
she guides your hand to explore.
With her blessing,
you’ll explore.
Beast.™
Beast.™
I am a killer.
Ruthless.
Fearless.
I stalk my prey in the darkness.
You cannot escape.
I am a trained predator,
Natural instincts
sense of fear
leads me straight to you.
My eyes are sharp,
so are my fangs.
Can you handle me?
I am a killer.
Ruthless.
Fearless.
I stalk my prey in the darkness.
You cannot escape.
I am a trained predator,
Natural instincts
sense of fear
leads me straight to you.
My eyes are sharp,
so are my fangs.
Can you handle me?
Feelings
Feelings
I dance around my feelings,
afraid to put them on display.
I’m scared of you knowing,
I know exactly what you’ll say.
I hate it when you screw up
and act like it’s my fault.
I get all the blame, and you,
you just do what you want.
Our arguments always end the same,
we just don’t speak for days.
It’s not the way I planned it,
it’s just the way our story plays.
I dance around my feelings,
afraid to put them on display.
I’m scared of you knowing,
I know exactly what you’ll say.
I hate it when you screw up
and act like it’s my fault.
I get all the blame, and you,
you just do what you want.
Our arguments always end the same,
we just don’t speak for days.
It’s not the way I planned it,
it’s just the way our story plays.
Sick & Tired.
Sick & Tired.
I can see myself,
like I’m looking in a mirror.
Every move I make,
carefully scripted.
I sculpt my life for your acceptance,
but somehow it is never enough.
I blow kisses at the second chances
as you blow them off,
one by one.
Lately it seems as if you never care
and all I do is care too much.
So here’s another wasted smile,
here’s another wasted night
I spent crying over you.
I’m tired of walking this tightrope,
Tiptoeing on eggshells
and hoping you’re in the right mood.
I’m tired of being neglected,
rejected.
I’m tired of feeling like it’s through.
I can see myself,
like I’m looking in a mirror.
Every move I make,
carefully scripted.
I sculpt my life for your acceptance,
but somehow it is never enough.
I blow kisses at the second chances
as you blow them off,
one by one.
Lately it seems as if you never care
and all I do is care too much.
So here’s another wasted smile,
here’s another wasted night
I spent crying over you.
I’m tired of walking this tightrope,
Tiptoeing on eggshells
and hoping you’re in the right mood.
I’m tired of being neglected,
rejected.
I’m tired of feeling like it’s through.
Sick & Tired.
Sick & Tired.
I can see myself,
like I’m looking in a mirror.
Every move I make,
carefully scripted.
I sculpt my life for your acceptance,
but somehow it is never enough.
I blow kisses at the second chances
as you blow them off,
one by one.
Lately it seems as if you never care
and all I do is care too much.
So here’s another wasted smile,
here’s another wasted night
I spent crying over you.
I’m tired of walking this tightrope,
Tiptoeing on eggshells
and hoping you’re in the right mood.
I’m tired of being neglected,
rejected.
I’m tired of feeling like it’s through.
I can see myself,
like I’m looking in a mirror.
Every move I make,
carefully scripted.
I sculpt my life for your acceptance,
but somehow it is never enough.
I blow kisses at the second chances
as you blow them off,
one by one.
Lately it seems as if you never care
and all I do is care too much.
So here’s another wasted smile,
here’s another wasted night
I spent crying over you.
I’m tired of walking this tightrope,
Tiptoeing on eggshells
and hoping you’re in the right mood.
I’m tired of being neglected,
rejected.
I’m tired of feeling like it’s through.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Float Away
Float Away
Beauty is elusive.
It races through my mind,
like a doe through the forest
nothing but instinct saying “run”
and the sound of the hunter,
gaining, gaining.
I race towards the seashore,
I find nothing, nothing,
nothing but sand
that slips through my fingers
like you did.
I cannot breathe.
The air is too thick
with lovers professing in the moonlight.
It makes me sick.
I cannot see, the alcohol blurs my vision
and I scrabble for purchase,
fruitlessly,
in the sand.
I awaken to the tide
creeping slowly round my knees,
pulling at my arms
and whispering “please stay”.
I lay back
and watch myself float away.
Beauty is elusive.
It races through my mind,
like a doe through the forest
nothing but instinct saying “run”
and the sound of the hunter,
gaining, gaining.
I race towards the seashore,
I find nothing, nothing,
nothing but sand
that slips through my fingers
like you did.
I cannot breathe.
The air is too thick
with lovers professing in the moonlight.
It makes me sick.
I cannot see, the alcohol blurs my vision
and I scrabble for purchase,
fruitlessly,
in the sand.
I awaken to the tide
creeping slowly round my knees,
pulling at my arms
and whispering “please stay”.
I lay back
and watch myself float away.
Regret.
Regret.
Knife to the back,
gun to my head.
Maybe I am better off dead.
You call it love,
well I call it pain.
Maybe they’re right & I am to blame.
No more words,
we can’t make it right.
Darling I know you’ll put up a fight.
Can’t work it out,
I’m not misunderstood.
You’re running away, I knew that you would.
Kiss on my neck,
hand on my thigh.
I told you no, I told you goodbye.
A scream in the dark,
I break down and cry.
I can feel something inside of me die.
No second chance,
nothing left for you here.
I know what you’re thinking but don’t you dare.
Knife to the back,
shot to the heart.
I loved you once,
I was in the dark.
Knife to the back,
gun to my head.
Maybe I am better off dead.
You call it love,
well I call it pain.
Maybe they’re right & I am to blame.
No more words,
we can’t make it right.
Darling I know you’ll put up a fight.
Can’t work it out,
I’m not misunderstood.
You’re running away, I knew that you would.
Kiss on my neck,
hand on my thigh.
I told you no, I told you goodbye.
A scream in the dark,
I break down and cry.
I can feel something inside of me die.
No second chance,
nothing left for you here.
I know what you’re thinking but don’t you dare.
Knife to the back,
shot to the heart.
I loved you once,
I was in the dark.
Believe.
Believe.
Breathe.
My lungs fill with ease,
but the air’s not as sweet
as it once tasted,
when your hand and my hand
found each other
across a sea of blankets,
when our lips fought for purchase
on any patch of bared skin.
See.
My eyes are wide open,
but nothing’s as clear
as the stars above our heads were.
In a crowded place I could only see you,
when the Heaven’s erupted
and I grabbed you by the hand
and whispered “Isn’t it beautiful?” into your ear.
Believe.
I can still put trust in
everything I once did,
but it seems foolhardy & trite
without you lying by my side.
And still I believe,
in you,
in me.
Breathe.
My lungs fill with ease,
but the air’s not as sweet
as it once tasted,
when your hand and my hand
found each other
across a sea of blankets,
when our lips fought for purchase
on any patch of bared skin.
See.
My eyes are wide open,
but nothing’s as clear
as the stars above our heads were.
In a crowded place I could only see you,
when the Heaven’s erupted
and I grabbed you by the hand
and whispered “Isn’t it beautiful?” into your ear.
Believe.
I can still put trust in
everything I once did,
but it seems foolhardy & trite
without you lying by my side.
And still I believe,
in you,
in me.
Worth
Worth
You make me feel so vulnerable,
like every move
leaves me more open
to your cold eyes.
I wish you’d care about me,
but obviously, oh so obviously
you couldn’t care less.
The tears slip down my cheek,
I never cried before you came along.
Is it all worth it?
Will it be worth it in the end?
You make me feel so vulnerable,
like every move
leaves me more open
to your cold eyes.
I wish you’d care about me,
but obviously, oh so obviously
you couldn’t care less.
The tears slip down my cheek,
I never cried before you came along.
Is it all worth it?
Will it be worth it in the end?
9. The Fight
9. The Fight
5 minutes have passed
since the slamming of the door.
10 since he screamed
“you’re worthless”,
and she ducked under a spray of shattering glass.
Tears slide gently down her face,
rolling silently towards the floor.
She sits with her back against the counter,
regretting everything she ever said
but mostly the words
“I love you”.
5 minutes have passed
since the slamming of the door.
10 since he screamed
“you’re worthless”,
and she ducked under a spray of shattering glass.
Tears slide gently down her face,
rolling silently towards the floor.
She sits with her back against the counter,
regretting everything she ever said
but mostly the words
“I love you”.
8. Summer
8. Summer
Summer breeze always reminds me of you.
It always blows in from the shore,
bringing the scent of sea
and summers we spent together.
The trees used to whisper our names
as we lay together counting the stars.
We’d stay out for hours,
twirling in the rain
or wandering near and far.
It didn’t matter as long as we were together.
Summer breeze always reminds me of you.
It always blows in from the shore,
bringing the scent of sea
and summers we spent together.
The trees used to whisper our names
as we lay together counting the stars.
We’d stay out for hours,
twirling in the rain
or wandering near and far.
It didn’t matter as long as we were together.
7. Free
7. Free
To be perfectly honest,
sometimes I feel the need to be free.
A yearning to face my fears
and try to make it on my own.
I want to love recklessly,
let my hair blow in the wind.
I can see her, the girl I want to be,
she’s right in front of me,
living on the edge of it all
without a care without a thought
of what the future might bring.
Wish I could throw off these shackles,
break free of these four walls
find some one new to be.
I’d abandon myself,
left behind on the shore,
and I’d tell him everything I really feel.
To be perfectly honest,
sometimes I feel the need to be free.
A yearning to face my fears
and try to make it on my own.
I want to love recklessly,
let my hair blow in the wind.
I can see her, the girl I want to be,
she’s right in front of me,
living on the edge of it all
without a care without a thought
of what the future might bring.
Wish I could throw off these shackles,
break free of these four walls
find some one new to be.
I’d abandon myself,
left behind on the shore,
and I’d tell him everything I really feel.
6. Don’t Back Away
6. Don’t Back Away
Don’t back away.
Look into my eyes and feel safe.
I know your heart is beating faster
and your eyes are widened,
you’re scared of what’s to come.
But baby, I’m in uncharted waters here.
No one will ever save you
if they can’t ever find you.
Yeah, I know it’s dark outside,
but there’s a light inside my soul,
and I will keep you warm til morning.
Don’t back away.
Look into my eyes and feel safe.
I know your heart is beating faster
and your eyes are widened,
you’re scared of what’s to come.
But baby, I’m in uncharted waters here.
No one will ever save you
if they can’t ever find you.
Yeah, I know it’s dark outside,
but there’s a light inside my soul,
and I will keep you warm til morning.
5. We’ll Burn
5. We’ll Burn
Anticipation, longing, patience.
Patience, it will come.
The stars will disappear
And all at once life will make some kind of sense.
The trees won’t look so deadly
in the cold light of morning,
I swear.
We’ll burn, we’ll burn.
Anticipation, longing, patience.
Patience, it will come.
The stars will disappear
And all at once life will make some kind of sense.
The trees won’t look so deadly
in the cold light of morning,
I swear.
We’ll burn, we’ll burn.
4. Invincible.
4. Invincible.
Solitary.
Every piano key
resounds inside my heart,
tugs at my thoughts
and sets them spinning like a ferris wheel.
In the darkness I could be anyone.
I could be anywhere.
Or nothing,
just a ghost
lingering at the edge of your mind.
I could be…invincible.
Solitary.
Every piano key
resounds inside my heart,
tugs at my thoughts
and sets them spinning like a ferris wheel.
In the darkness I could be anyone.
I could be anywhere.
Or nothing,
just a ghost
lingering at the edge of your mind.
I could be…invincible.
Secret Place
Secret Place
There’s a secret place I go,
when all the world is dead and cold.
I sit in my treehouse and watch the cars,
or lie on my back and count the stars.
I pick myself a bouquet or two,
bring it inside my mind to fight the gloom.
With my journal and my pen in hand,
I write about this secret land.
No one’s there to lecture me,
on how to act or who to be.
I can just sit quietly by myself
and put my fears up on a shelf.
And if one day you find I’m gone,
know I’ve packed up and just moved on
to my secret place, where I will roam,
that secret place I’ll call my home.
There’s a secret place I go,
when all the world is dead and cold.
I sit in my treehouse and watch the cars,
or lie on my back and count the stars.
I pick myself a bouquet or two,
bring it inside my mind to fight the gloom.
With my journal and my pen in hand,
I write about this secret land.
No one’s there to lecture me,
on how to act or who to be.
I can just sit quietly by myself
and put my fears up on a shelf.
And if one day you find I’m gone,
know I’ve packed up and just moved on
to my secret place, where I will roam,
that secret place I’ll call my home.
Cold.
Cold.
Can’t understand.
Your live is so cold,
so everchanging
like winter wind through the forest.
So frigid.
I’m huddled by the firelight
of the memories I’m burning
just to keep warm.
My fingers go numb.
Don’t you see, I can’t go on.
It’s sucking the life out of me,
bit by bit & day by day.
I can feel my heart freezing
with no protection from the bitter wind that’s blowing.
Can’t you see I’m dying?
Can’t you understand?
I cannot be the only one
constantly fanning to keep this love aflame.
I cannot be the only one
who feels the chill.
Can’t understand.
Your live is so cold,
so everchanging
like winter wind through the forest.
So frigid.
I’m huddled by the firelight
of the memories I’m burning
just to keep warm.
My fingers go numb.
Don’t you see, I can’t go on.
It’s sucking the life out of me,
bit by bit & day by day.
I can feel my heart freezing
with no protection from the bitter wind that’s blowing.
Can’t you see I’m dying?
Can’t you understand?
I cannot be the only one
constantly fanning to keep this love aflame.
I cannot be the only one
who feels the chill.
If I Were…
If I Were…
If I were extraordinary,
I’d do extraordinary things
like sail around on magic wings
but I’d still be in love with you.
If I were famous,
I’d be all over the magazines
be worshipped by starry-eyed teens
but I’d still be in love with you.
If I were rejected,
I’d be an emotional wreck
a ship with no hands on deck
but I’d still be in love with you.
If I were neglected,
I’d cry myself to sleep
have no company to keep
but I’d still be in love with you.
If I were extraordinary,
I’d do extraordinary things
like sail around on magic wings
but I’d still be in love with you.
If I were famous,
I’d be all over the magazines
be worshipped by starry-eyed teens
but I’d still be in love with you.
If I were rejected,
I’d be an emotional wreck
a ship with no hands on deck
but I’d still be in love with you.
If I were neglected,
I’d cry myself to sleep
have no company to keep
but I’d still be in love with you.
Wonderland
Wonderland
I cannot gather
whether
you are some philosophy
or just here to please aesthetically,
won’t you point the way
to the Jester fair today?
Because you’re just another jewel
sitting in the king’s crown.
Another few years & they’ll take you down.
The Knave of Hearts
stole the Queen’s tarts,
and it’ll be off with his head.
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick,
or Jack will end up dead.
I would not delay
nor play croquet,
you’re debt’s already too high.
It’s mutiny, oh can’t you see,
there isn’t a reason why.
The Cat’s led you astray,
there is no right or wrong way
and no potion to swallow on down.
So choose to take your leave,
it’s not quite your cup of tea?
Well, the wheels spin around and around.
The Caterpillar’s wrong,
he’s sold you out for a song,
and there’s not a pocket watch in sight.
Time to break the habit,
oh, here’s the White Rabbit,
I guess you got lucky tonight.
I cannot gather
whether
you are some philosophy
or just here to please aesthetically,
won’t you point the way
to the Jester fair today?
Because you’re just another jewel
sitting in the king’s crown.
Another few years & they’ll take you down.
The Knave of Hearts
stole the Queen’s tarts,
and it’ll be off with his head.
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick,
or Jack will end up dead.
I would not delay
nor play croquet,
you’re debt’s already too high.
It’s mutiny, oh can’t you see,
there isn’t a reason why.
The Cat’s led you astray,
there is no right or wrong way
and no potion to swallow on down.
So choose to take your leave,
it’s not quite your cup of tea?
Well, the wheels spin around and around.
The Caterpillar’s wrong,
he’s sold you out for a song,
and there’s not a pocket watch in sight.
Time to break the habit,
oh, here’s the White Rabbit,
I guess you got lucky tonight.
Heaven Beyond.
Heaven Beyond.
When I’m with you
I breathe deeper.
The moments move slower
the planets align.
Just being in your presence
I can’t even fathom
Not knowing the warmth you can give.
No, it’s not fireworks
and it’s not the brightest sun I’ve ever seen.
But when I’m with you,
it’s like Heaven is just beyond me,
stretching right out under my fingertips.
When I’m with you
I breathe deeper.
The moments move slower
the planets align.
Just being in your presence
I can’t even fathom
Not knowing the warmth you can give.
No, it’s not fireworks
and it’s not the brightest sun I’ve ever seen.
But when I’m with you,
it’s like Heaven is just beyond me,
stretching right out under my fingertips.
Mr.
Mr.
Mr. Head in the Clouds,
you’re wearing me out.
Won’t you come down?
Mr. Always Right,
never gives in, gotta fight,
let me hold you tonight.
Mr. Get Up & Go,
I want you to know
I don’t believe in your show.
Mr. Try to Pretend,
I see right through you, friend,
don’t you know it’s the end?
Mr. Head in the Clouds,
you’re wearing me out.
Won’t you come down?
Mr. Always Right,
never gives in, gotta fight,
let me hold you tonight.
Mr. Get Up & Go,
I want you to know
I don’t believe in your show.
Mr. Try to Pretend,
I see right through you, friend,
don’t you know it’s the end?
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Mine
Mine
2:48 AM, and the seconds tick by
like sentinels on the LED
while my eye’s fixed on the sky.
I heard the sound of summer rain
It lasted maybe 5 minutes,
a short pattering refrain.
The sound of fan blades spinning
reminds me how I should be sleeping
but every shadow on my wall
leads to poetic inspiration
and I’m counting in my head,
an unsettling distraction.
Oh, love. Oh, love.
I didn’t mean
to cause a scene.
Oh, but falling takes no time.
I couldn’t perceive
what I never believed.
Oh, how did you end up mine?
Oh, how did you end up mine?
Somewhere past 3 o’clock and still no luck
with keeping my mind silent
and getting my eyes shut.
The music in my head keeps
telling me I’m losing track of
any kind of grip I might have had,
But it doesn’t seem to matter
nothing seems to matter
but the feeling that I could touch the sky
without ever knowing why.
Oh, love. Oh, love.
I didn’t mean
to cause a scene.
Oh, but falling takes no time.
I couldn’t perceive
what I never believed.
Oh, how did you end up mine?
Oh, how did you end up mine?
How did you find me through the haze,
all those lonely days
the unforgiving places I’ve been.
How did you know just where I’d be,
how to capture me
inspire me,
take hold of me.
Oh, love. Oh, love.
Oh-OH-oh love.
I didn’t mean
to cause a scene.
Oh, but falling takes no time.
I couldn’t perceive
what I never believed.
Oh, how did you end up mine?
Oh, how did you end up mine?
Oh, how did you end up mine?
2:48 AM, and the seconds tick by
like sentinels on the LED
while my eye’s fixed on the sky.
I heard the sound of summer rain
It lasted maybe 5 minutes,
a short pattering refrain.
The sound of fan blades spinning
reminds me how I should be sleeping
but every shadow on my wall
leads to poetic inspiration
and I’m counting in my head,
an unsettling distraction.
Oh, love. Oh, love.
I didn’t mean
to cause a scene.
Oh, but falling takes no time.
I couldn’t perceive
what I never believed.
Oh, how did you end up mine?
Oh, how did you end up mine?
Somewhere past 3 o’clock and still no luck
with keeping my mind silent
and getting my eyes shut.
The music in my head keeps
telling me I’m losing track of
any kind of grip I might have had,
But it doesn’t seem to matter
nothing seems to matter
but the feeling that I could touch the sky
without ever knowing why.
Oh, love. Oh, love.
I didn’t mean
to cause a scene.
Oh, but falling takes no time.
I couldn’t perceive
what I never believed.
Oh, how did you end up mine?
Oh, how did you end up mine?
How did you find me through the haze,
all those lonely days
the unforgiving places I’ve been.
How did you know just where I’d be,
how to capture me
inspire me,
take hold of me.
Oh, love. Oh, love.
Oh-OH-oh love.
I didn’t mean
to cause a scene.
Oh, but falling takes no time.
I couldn’t perceive
what I never believed.
Oh, how did you end up mine?
Oh, how did you end up mine?
Oh, how did you end up mine?
It Will Always Stain
“And love, just like blood, will always stain.”
Look at me.
I’m a horrible distraction (what a mess)
my hands are covered
(in blood).
Oh, sweet sweet baby,
I did it for you
(don’t you know?)
Don’t turn away, please.
I don’t have anywhere else to go.
Didn’t you realize
this was all (just a lie)?
Called you irresponsible
and you labeled me
a whore.
(shh don’t let them know
you’ve got a horrible tongue).
Well I’m always wrong to you
(Mr. center of attention)
Why couldn’t you just save me?
I got too wrapped up in myself,
(such glamour and lies)
I lost control of my mind.
But everyone makes mistakes
(the universe slowly spins) I apologize.
Now would you hand me
hand me over.
I’m not fooling around anymore,
now I just want love.
It crashes down on my head,
Everything I ever wanted
(you).
Look at me.
I’m a horrible distraction (what a mess)
my hands are covered
(in blood).
Oh, sweet sweet baby,
I did it for you
(don’t you know?)
Don’t turn away, please.
I don’t have anywhere else to go.
Didn’t you realize
this was all (just a lie)?
Called you irresponsible
and you labeled me
a whore.
(shh don’t let them know
you’ve got a horrible tongue).
Well I’m always wrong to you
(Mr. center of attention)
Why couldn’t you just save me?
I got too wrapped up in myself,
(such glamour and lies)
I lost control of my mind.
But everyone makes mistakes
(the universe slowly spins) I apologize.
Now would you hand me
hand me over.
I’m not fooling around anymore,
now I just want love.
It crashes down on my head,
Everything I ever wanted
(you).
Little Girl
Little Girl
Little girl of ribbon and lace,
you too will grow older.
You’ll abandon your playthings,
find your place.
Oh, you will grow colder.
Nothing is certain,
of that I am sure.
Someday you will learn
what everything means,
even if it still doesn’t
make much sense.
And you will work
to find your place in this world,
through struggles and hard times.
And when you think you can’t go on,
you can.
Little girl of ribbon and lace,
you too will grow older.
Please stay a child as long as you can.
Oh, you will grow colder.
Little girl of ribbon and lace,
you too will grow older.
You’ll abandon your playthings,
find your place.
Oh, you will grow colder.
Nothing is certain,
of that I am sure.
Someday you will learn
what everything means,
even if it still doesn’t
make much sense.
And you will work
to find your place in this world,
through struggles and hard times.
And when you think you can’t go on,
you can.
Little girl of ribbon and lace,
you too will grow older.
Please stay a child as long as you can.
Oh, you will grow colder.
Crave
Crave
Curve of hip
he grasps,
her back arches.
Lips collide,
hair tangling.
Sliver of stomach,
thighs part,
she wraps a leg around him.
He trails his lips
over the graceful curve of her neck,
downward.
She sighs.
Together they find rhythm.
Together they find love.
Curve of hip
he grasps,
her back arches.
Lips collide,
hair tangling.
Sliver of stomach,
thighs part,
she wraps a leg around him.
He trails his lips
over the graceful curve of her neck,
downward.
She sighs.
Together they find rhythm.
Together they find love.
Value
Value
If I were good at painting,
I would paint you like the Mona Lisa:
beguiling & smiling so mysteriously.
If I were good at sculpting,
I would sculpt you
into the shape you always wanted,
and you’d finally be happy with yourself.
If I were good at feelings,
I would tell you how much you mean to me,
how much I value you being in my life,
and how much I am going to miss you.
But I am only a writer,
so I will try to put this all down in words
and hope you somehow understand.
If I were good at painting,
I would paint you like the Mona Lisa:
beguiling & smiling so mysteriously.
If I were good at sculpting,
I would sculpt you
into the shape you always wanted,
and you’d finally be happy with yourself.
If I were good at feelings,
I would tell you how much you mean to me,
how much I value you being in my life,
and how much I am going to miss you.
But I am only a writer,
so I will try to put this all down in words
and hope you somehow understand.
I Miss You
I Miss You
I miss you when you’re not here.
I miss your smile,
your easy laugh,
the solid warmth of your hand in mine.
I even miss the feel of your leg next to mine,
the way you mumble “sorry”
when you step on my foot,
and how you kiss my forehead and my hand.
I miss the way you talk so easy
about stuff I usually blush about,
but with you it all seems just right,
the way you make me open up,
the way you make me feel so loved.
I miss you when you’re not here.
I miss your smile,
your easy laugh,
the solid warmth of your hand in mine.
I even miss the feel of your leg next to mine,
the way you mumble “sorry”
when you step on my foot,
and how you kiss my forehead and my hand.
I miss the way you talk so easy
about stuff I usually blush about,
but with you it all seems just right,
the way you make me open up,
the way you make me feel so loved.
Read
Read
You read me like a book.
Am I really that obvious?
Do you really notice
how I blush, even in the dark,
when your hand touches my leg?
And your fingers, when they trace over mine,
do they feel the bitten cuticles
where all my worries go to rest?
Do you notice how I get jealous,
how I get angry over petty things?
Do you notice when I’m online
and you’re sitting on the other end of the computer screen,
ignoring me?
Do you read me at all?
You read me like a book.
Am I really that obvious?
Do you really notice
how I blush, even in the dark,
when your hand touches my leg?
And your fingers, when they trace over mine,
do they feel the bitten cuticles
where all my worries go to rest?
Do you notice how I get jealous,
how I get angry over petty things?
Do you notice when I’m online
and you’re sitting on the other end of the computer screen,
ignoring me?
Do you read me at all?
Far Away
Far Away
Fall away from me,
hands are slipping.
Hearts grasp tightly,
refusing to let go.
Where are you now?
Now that you’ve been torn from my side,
the stitches unraveling
leaving me to bleed
unconscious,
without you.
You’re too far away
I cannot hear your heartbeat.
Fall away from me,
hands are slipping.
Hearts grasp tightly,
refusing to let go.
Where are you now?
Now that you’ve been torn from my side,
the stitches unraveling
leaving me to bleed
unconscious,
without you.
You’re too far away
I cannot hear your heartbeat.
Straight to You
Straight to You
My heart knows all
the endless pathways.
It travels through a labyrinth
of sneering faces
and jeering, unforgiving stares.
It knows its way
upways and longways,
downways and frontways,
swimming through an endless ocean,
skimming over dreaming lovers,
traveling straight to you.
My heart knows all
the endless pathways.
It travels through a labyrinth
of sneering faces
and jeering, unforgiving stares.
It knows its way
upways and longways,
downways and frontways,
swimming through an endless ocean,
skimming over dreaming lovers,
traveling straight to you.
Still Here
Still Here
One more kiss,
before you leave me lonely.
Please don’t speak
I know I’m not your only.
It’s not that I want you to leave,
it’s just I know you’re going anyway.
So I only want something to hold onto
when you stay gone for days.
You keep telling me you love me,
but when I lay awake alone
I can’t help but wonder
what is it you can’t see?
I know where you go
when you leave me here.
I’ve smelt the perfume,
I’ve heard the phone calls, dear.
You don’t need to make excuses
I’m not going anywhere.
God knows why but
I stay here.
Maybe I just can’t
imagine being without you.
I couldn’t bear the thought
of never holding you.
So even though I know
I’m sharing you with some other girl,
It’s better than living without you
and feeling lost in the world.
I keep telling you I love you,
but when I lay awake alone,
I can’t help but wonder
if you really love me too.
I know where you go
when you leave me here.
I’ve smelt the perfume,
I’ve heard the phone calls, dear.
You don’t need to make excuses
I’m not going anywhere.
God knows why but
I stay here.
I stay here
through all the good times bad times push comes to shove
because deep down inside my heart
I still somehow believe in love.
I know where you go
when you leave me here.
I’ve smelt the perfume,
I’ve heard the phone calls, dear.
You don’t need to make excuses
I’m not going anywhere.
God knows why but
I’m still here.
One more kiss,
before you leave me lonely.
Please don’t speak
I know I’m not your only.
It’s not that I want you to leave,
it’s just I know you’re going anyway.
So I only want something to hold onto
when you stay gone for days.
You keep telling me you love me,
but when I lay awake alone
I can’t help but wonder
what is it you can’t see?
I know where you go
when you leave me here.
I’ve smelt the perfume,
I’ve heard the phone calls, dear.
You don’t need to make excuses
I’m not going anywhere.
God knows why but
I stay here.
Maybe I just can’t
imagine being without you.
I couldn’t bear the thought
of never holding you.
So even though I know
I’m sharing you with some other girl,
It’s better than living without you
and feeling lost in the world.
I keep telling you I love you,
but when I lay awake alone,
I can’t help but wonder
if you really love me too.
I know where you go
when you leave me here.
I’ve smelt the perfume,
I’ve heard the phone calls, dear.
You don’t need to make excuses
I’m not going anywhere.
God knows why but
I stay here.
I stay here
through all the good times bad times push comes to shove
because deep down inside my heart
I still somehow believe in love.
I know where you go
when you leave me here.
I’ve smelt the perfume,
I’ve heard the phone calls, dear.
You don’t need to make excuses
I’m not going anywhere.
God knows why but
I’m still here.
Ghost (Rewritten 2006)
Ghost
I’m hovering over your head tonight
watching you crying in the fading twilight.
Sitting in a pile of flowers by my grave,
praying for a soul you never could save.
You’re holding in your hands a faded note,
reading over and over the words that I wrote.
Can you feel my own tears falling down?
they’re soaking every lover in this town.
Pre-Chorus
I’m reading over your shoulder
lines you hoped never to see.
A broken message that only grows older,
baby, just forget me.
Chorus
You’re chasing a ghost,
nothing but a ghost.
Searching in the most
unfortunate places
Still hoping to find traces
of what we were.
You’ve gone too long with no sleep,
what is this constant vigil you keep?
Are you hoping that it’s all a dream?
Are you really as desperate as you seem?
Is there no way to break the spell,
to help distract you from your hell?
Don’t you know I’m here with you
waiting for you to give in too.
Pre-Chorus
I’m reading over your shoulder
lines you hoped never to see.
A broken message that only grows older,
baby, just forget me.
Chorus
You’re chasing a ghost,
nothing but a ghost.
Searching in the most
unfortunate places
Still hoping to find traces
of what we were.
Far away,
I’m so far away now.
Heaven is nothing next to you
But I’ll get by somehow.
The wind blows me away,
I guess I’m here to stay.
Chorus
You’re chasing a ghost,
nothing but a ghost.
Searching in the most
unfortunate places
Still hoping to find traces
of what we were.
I’m hovering over your head tonight
watching you crying in the fading twilight.
Sitting in a pile of flowers by my grave,
praying for a soul you never could save.
You’re holding in your hands a faded note,
reading over and over the words that I wrote.
Can you feel my own tears falling down?
they’re soaking every lover in this town.
Pre-Chorus
I’m reading over your shoulder
lines you hoped never to see.
A broken message that only grows older,
baby, just forget me.
Chorus
You’re chasing a ghost,
nothing but a ghost.
Searching in the most
unfortunate places
Still hoping to find traces
of what we were.
You’ve gone too long with no sleep,
what is this constant vigil you keep?
Are you hoping that it’s all a dream?
Are you really as desperate as you seem?
Is there no way to break the spell,
to help distract you from your hell?
Don’t you know I’m here with you
waiting for you to give in too.
Pre-Chorus
I’m reading over your shoulder
lines you hoped never to see.
A broken message that only grows older,
baby, just forget me.
Chorus
You’re chasing a ghost,
nothing but a ghost.
Searching in the most
unfortunate places
Still hoping to find traces
of what we were.
Far away,
I’m so far away now.
Heaven is nothing next to you
But I’ll get by somehow.
The wind blows me away,
I guess I’m here to stay.
Chorus
You’re chasing a ghost,
nothing but a ghost.
Searching in the most
unfortunate places
Still hoping to find traces
of what we were.
Falsehoods and Deceptions: The Art of Giving Up in the End Version 2
Falsehoods and Deceptions: The Art of Giving Up in the End
So you’re life’s not perfect,
So you’re living a lie,
You’re struggling to hold on.
Everything comes to an end,
Everyone must die,
In the end there’s no right or wrong.
Pre-Chorus 1
Giving up is not your only option,
Never succeeding,
While your heart is bleeding.
Where’d your common sense flee to?
Grit your teeth and bear it,
Don’t complain just forget it,
It’s not worth the fight.
Keep your eyes on the sky,
Waiting for your Armageddon,
Waiting for the time to be right.
Pre-Chorus 2
Giving up is not your only option,
never moving,
never proving.
Where’d your common sense flee to?
Chorus –
Your life’s a bittersweet reflection,
of watching ripples fade into the ocean,
of trying to find your place in time.
You struggle on and try to make a difference
they tell you that you must be kidding,
but never give up until it feels just right,
don’t believe all their lies.
Clear your mind and clear your soul,
learn to live with self-control,
you can get it right.
Keep your head up keep on learning,
as long as there’s fire keep on burning,
keep on moving towards the light.
Pre-Chorus 1
Giving up is not your only option,
Never succeeding,
While your heart is bleeding.
Where’d your common sense flee to?
Shut your eyes it’s just too much,
You just can’t bear another’s touch,
But it’s just too late to start over.
Close your ears to all their lies
Don’t accept no alibis,
In the end they’ll be the ones finding out.
Pre-Chorus 2
Giving up is not your only option,
never moving,
never proving.
Where’d your common sense flee to?
Chorus –
Your life’s a bittersweet reflection,
of watching ripples fade into the ocean,
of trying to find your place in time.
You struggle on and try to make a difference
they tell you that you must be kidding,
but never give up until it feels just right,
don’t believe all their lies.
So you’re life’s not perfect,
So you’re living a lie,
You’re struggling to hold on.
Everything comes to an end,
Everyone must die,
In the end there’s no right or wrong.
Pre-Chorus 1
Giving up is not your only option,
Never succeeding,
While your heart is bleeding.
Where’d your common sense flee to?
Grit your teeth and bear it,
Don’t complain just forget it,
It’s not worth the fight.
Keep your eyes on the sky,
Waiting for your Armageddon,
Waiting for the time to be right.
Pre-Chorus 2
Giving up is not your only option,
never moving,
never proving.
Where’d your common sense flee to?
Chorus –
Your life’s a bittersweet reflection,
of watching ripples fade into the ocean,
of trying to find your place in time.
You struggle on and try to make a difference
they tell you that you must be kidding,
but never give up until it feels just right,
don’t believe all their lies.
Clear your mind and clear your soul,
learn to live with self-control,
you can get it right.
Keep your head up keep on learning,
as long as there’s fire keep on burning,
keep on moving towards the light.
Pre-Chorus 1
Giving up is not your only option,
Never succeeding,
While your heart is bleeding.
Where’d your common sense flee to?
Shut your eyes it’s just too much,
You just can’t bear another’s touch,
But it’s just too late to start over.
Close your ears to all their lies
Don’t accept no alibis,
In the end they’ll be the ones finding out.
Pre-Chorus 2
Giving up is not your only option,
never moving,
never proving.
Where’d your common sense flee to?
Chorus –
Your life’s a bittersweet reflection,
of watching ripples fade into the ocean,
of trying to find your place in time.
You struggle on and try to make a difference
they tell you that you must be kidding,
but never give up until it feels just right,
don’t believe all their lies.
Eyes Wide Open
Eyes Wide Open
Keep your eyes wide open when you kiss me,
for once, let me see into your soul
no walls between us,
no excuses, no cover stories, no alibis, no lies.
Can’t you see I just want to get in
when you keep shutting me out?
Nothing I can say could make you drop all your defenses
and stop pretending to be so strong.
Don’t you understand?
I just want to know the real you:
heart, mind, body and soul.
That’s all.
Keep your eyes wide open when you kiss me,
for once, let me see into your soul
no walls between us,
no excuses, no cover stories, no alibis, no lies.
Can’t you see I just want to get in
when you keep shutting me out?
Nothing I can say could make you drop all your defenses
and stop pretending to be so strong.
Don’t you understand?
I just want to know the real you:
heart, mind, body and soul.
That’s all.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Tear Jar
Tear Jar
If I could take back every tear
that ran down your cheeks
because of me,
I’d save them all in this jar
to remind me of how love is
and that distance,
somehow,
makes us wise.
Florida Days
Florida Days
I grew up in the land
Of sunshine and rain.
Never knew what to expect
Between lightning and hurricane.
My childhood memories are full
Of lazy beach days,
Watermelon on the 4th of July
Or soaking up the sun’s rays.
I can still remember those good ole Florida days.
Sunburn, sunscreen,
digging for clams in the sand.
Flip-flops, cover-ups,
sunbathing, magazine in hand.
Living in my bathing suit,
it was summer all year long.
Sticky heat, sand under my feet,
With Florida, you just can’t go wrong.
Driving over the bridge
on our way to Marco Island,
Fishing in my backyard
side by side with my best friend.
There were waterslides and football games,
or sitting on the porch blaring country music.
Yeah we talked all day about love,
but we didn’t know just how to use it.
Sunburn, sunscreen,
digging for clams in the sand.
Flip-flops, cover-ups,
sunbathing, magazine in hand.
Living in my bathing suit,
it was summer all year long.
Sticky heat, sand under my feet,
With Florida, you just can’t go wrong.
There were alligators,
there was barbecue,
there was the ice cream truck
in the late afternoon.
There were thunderheads,
there were waterbeds,
there was cool summer rain
washing over our heads.
We stayed outside til we were soaking wet.
Sunburn, sunscreen,
digging for clams in the sand.
Flip-flops, cover-ups,
sunbathing, magazine in hand.
Living in my bathing suit,
it was summer all year long.
Sticky heat, sand under my feet,
With Florida, you just can’t go wrong.
You just can’t go wrong…
I grew up in the land
Of sunshine and rain.
Never knew what to expect
Between lightning and hurricane.
My childhood memories are full
Of lazy beach days,
Watermelon on the 4th of July
Or soaking up the sun’s rays.
I can still remember those good ole Florida days.
Sunburn, sunscreen,
digging for clams in the sand.
Flip-flops, cover-ups,
sunbathing, magazine in hand.
Living in my bathing suit,
it was summer all year long.
Sticky heat, sand under my feet,
With Florida, you just can’t go wrong.
Driving over the bridge
on our way to Marco Island,
Fishing in my backyard
side by side with my best friend.
There were waterslides and football games,
or sitting on the porch blaring country music.
Yeah we talked all day about love,
but we didn’t know just how to use it.
Sunburn, sunscreen,
digging for clams in the sand.
Flip-flops, cover-ups,
sunbathing, magazine in hand.
Living in my bathing suit,
it was summer all year long.
Sticky heat, sand under my feet,
With Florida, you just can’t go wrong.
There were alligators,
there was barbecue,
there was the ice cream truck
in the late afternoon.
There were thunderheads,
there were waterbeds,
there was cool summer rain
washing over our heads.
We stayed outside til we were soaking wet.
Sunburn, sunscreen,
digging for clams in the sand.
Flip-flops, cover-ups,
sunbathing, magazine in hand.
Living in my bathing suit,
it was summer all year long.
Sticky heat, sand under my feet,
With Florida, you just can’t go wrong.
You just can’t go wrong…
Bang.
Bang.
Wait – I will peel the skin from my fingertips
and write our names
with the blood that remains.
And I will listen to the faint pulse
of my heartbeat in my wrists,
while you’re smiling at me
and we’re slowly dying.
I hate it when you call me scared,
like it doesn’t mean anything at all
when I drain myself for you.
This message is all you’re getting
at the receiving end of the barrel,
I’m pulling the trigger.
Bang, we’re dead.
Wait – I will peel the skin from my fingertips
and write our names
with the blood that remains.
And I will listen to the faint pulse
of my heartbeat in my wrists,
while you’re smiling at me
and we’re slowly dying.
I hate it when you call me scared,
like it doesn’t mean anything at all
when I drain myself for you.
This message is all you’re getting
at the receiving end of the barrel,
I’m pulling the trigger.
Bang, we’re dead.
Instructions
Instructions
This is what it looks like.
This is how you do it.
Color inside the lines,
don’t cross the line,
don’t step out.
Single-file.
Don’t speak out,
keep your mouth shut.
Close your eyes,
it will all go away,
eventually.
This is what it looks like.
This is how you do it.
Color inside the lines,
don’t cross the line,
don’t step out.
Single-file.
Don’t speak out,
keep your mouth shut.
Close your eyes,
it will all go away,
eventually.
Hey Brown Eyes
Hey Brown Eyes
Hey brown eyes,
come talk with me for awhile,
spend some time chatting about nothing,
shatter all preconceptions.
I’m a poet so let me
spin you a story,
of beauty, truth, justice, and love.
Come spin with me now
we’ll sparkle like the stars in the sky.
Laying entwined together,
our Converse knocking against each other,
our arms wrapped tightly around each other’s shoulders.
You’ll whisper “I love you”
and I’ll feel like a phoenix
rising from the flames,
being born anew.
Hey brown eyes,
come talk with me for awhile,
spend some time chatting about nothing,
shatter all preconceptions.
I’m a poet so let me
spin you a story,
of beauty, truth, justice, and love.
Come spin with me now
we’ll sparkle like the stars in the sky.
Laying entwined together,
our Converse knocking against each other,
our arms wrapped tightly around each other’s shoulders.
You’ll whisper “I love you”
and I’ll feel like a phoenix
rising from the flames,
being born anew.
A Mother’s Love.
A Mother’s Love.
She sits in a chair,
faded magazines by her side.
She stares straight ahead,
counting the minutes gone by.
The nurse calls her name
and gives her a smile,
but she’s so afraid
she can’t stand for awhile.
The doctor gives her the news
with a grim look on his face.
Mary just can’t hold back her tears,
as she prays for God’s grace.
It’s the worst of her fears,
a mother at 16 years.
She used to dream of a life
Where everything’s right,
where nothing is ever out of place.
Where every son and daughter
has a mother and father,
to meet them with a warm embrace.
A world where every child
will know all the while,
of the love that cannot be erased.
6 months down the road,
and she lets out a cry
as she lays in a cold hospital room.
The nurse holds her hand,
and says “push all you can
and it will be over soon.”
The doctor cuts the cord,
and Mary starts to cry
as she gazes at her new baby girl.
She grasps her to her chest
as the nurse pats her hand,
and all seems alright in the world.
She used to dream of a life
where everything’s right,
where nothing is ever out of place.
Where every son and daughter
has a mother and a father,
to meet them with a warm embrace.
And she vows that her child
will know all the while,
of the love that cannot be erased.
How could she ever think
of letting her little one go?
When she looks in the eyes
of her newborn child,
she sees everything she ever
needed to know…
Now she’s living the life
even if everything’s not right,
and there will always be things out of place.
She knows that her daughter
will never know her father,
but will still be met with her warm embrace.
She tells her in a whisper
of everything about her,
and of the love that cannot be erased.
Yes, this love cannot be erased.
She sits in a chair,
faded magazines by her side.
She stares straight ahead,
counting the minutes gone by.
The nurse calls her name
and gives her a smile,
but she’s so afraid
she can’t stand for awhile.
The doctor gives her the news
with a grim look on his face.
Mary just can’t hold back her tears,
as she prays for God’s grace.
It’s the worst of her fears,
a mother at 16 years.
She used to dream of a life
Where everything’s right,
where nothing is ever out of place.
Where every son and daughter
has a mother and father,
to meet them with a warm embrace.
A world where every child
will know all the while,
of the love that cannot be erased.
6 months down the road,
and she lets out a cry
as she lays in a cold hospital room.
The nurse holds her hand,
and says “push all you can
and it will be over soon.”
The doctor cuts the cord,
and Mary starts to cry
as she gazes at her new baby girl.
She grasps her to her chest
as the nurse pats her hand,
and all seems alright in the world.
She used to dream of a life
where everything’s right,
where nothing is ever out of place.
Where every son and daughter
has a mother and a father,
to meet them with a warm embrace.
And she vows that her child
will know all the while,
of the love that cannot be erased.
How could she ever think
of letting her little one go?
When she looks in the eyes
of her newborn child,
she sees everything she ever
needed to know…
Now she’s living the life
even if everything’s not right,
and there will always be things out of place.
She knows that her daughter
will never know her father,
but will still be met with her warm embrace.
She tells her in a whisper
of everything about her,
and of the love that cannot be erased.
Yes, this love cannot be erased.
Baby Cousin
Baby Cousin
She sleeps the sleep of angels,
eyelids fluttering
and breath blowing soft against the pillow.
I watch her sleeping,
silent, careful not to let the floor creak
so as not to wake her.
She’s so young, she knows no pain,
save for childhood scrapes
and bruised knees.
Weren’t we all like her once?
Weren’t we all so innocent,
so peaceful, with no cares in the world?
Back when the world was sweeter
and we thrived on sunshine
and early morning cartoons.
As I stand over her crib
and watch her chest rise and fall,
I feel truly blessed
to have someone so precious in my life.
She sleeps the sleep of angels,
eyelids fluttering
and breath blowing soft against the pillow.
I watch her sleeping,
silent, careful not to let the floor creak
so as not to wake her.
She’s so young, she knows no pain,
save for childhood scrapes
and bruised knees.
Weren’t we all like her once?
Weren’t we all so innocent,
so peaceful, with no cares in the world?
Back when the world was sweeter
and we thrived on sunshine
and early morning cartoons.
As I stand over her crib
and watch her chest rise and fall,
I feel truly blessed
to have someone so precious in my life.
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