Charmbracelet
I wish I could wear you
Like a charm on my bracelet,
Dangling close to my heartbeat when I sleep.
I wish I could feel your presence near me when I close my eyes,
But time after time all I feel
Is sad and lonely.
I want to be the beat of your heart
So you’ll know I’m always there,
Or the tears that you cry
With the emotion you don’t show me.
I just need you to know that I need you,
That I need you to need me
Like you don’t seem to do.
So here,
Wear my love like a locket ‘round your throat,
I hope you choke on it
Like all the words you’ve never said.
Monday, October 31, 2005
My Vampire
My Vampire
His lips are pale and cold,
His kiss is like fire on my throat.
And he traces my reflection
With his fingernail,
Though his is invisible beside me.
But I feel his breath on my neck,
Even as I sleep.
He wraps his arms around my waist
And sings his song into my ear,
About death and life and blood and love
And he promises me eternity,
Black roses and immortality,
A pair of wings to lift me high.
He pledges to love me all the days
Of our immortal lives,
As he pierces my neck
And the world explodes underneath me.
I open my eyes,
Then I am alive.
His lips are pale and cold,
His kiss is like fire on my throat.
And he traces my reflection
With his fingernail,
Though his is invisible beside me.
But I feel his breath on my neck,
Even as I sleep.
He wraps his arms around my waist
And sings his song into my ear,
About death and life and blood and love
And he promises me eternity,
Black roses and immortality,
A pair of wings to lift me high.
He pledges to love me all the days
Of our immortal lives,
As he pierces my neck
And the world explodes underneath me.
I open my eyes,
Then I am alive.
Inspired
Inspired
Flash of light.
Rainbow,
Rain.
Wind.
Tears.
Lace.
Romance.
Smiles.
Laughter.
Lonely.
My fan blades spin around.
I write snippets of poetry,
Cross out,
Start over.
My mind’s in overdrive
At 1:03 am I am
Inspired.
Flash of light.
Rainbow,
Rain.
Wind.
Tears.
Lace.
Romance.
Smiles.
Laughter.
Lonely.
My fan blades spin around.
I write snippets of poetry,
Cross out,
Start over.
My mind’s in overdrive
At 1:03 am I am
Inspired.
Alone/Together
Alone
Alone.
Feels like red hot needles on bar skin.
Burns.
Rips my heart apart
And leaves me bleeding.
Sounds like an empty echo
Of a faltering heartbeat.
My heart’s slowly stopping,
It’s no longer beating for you.
Alone.
Tastes like – regret.
Together
Together.
Feels like hands wrapping around my throat,
Cutting off my air.
Chokes.
Squeezes the life out of me
And leaves me cold and gasping.
Sounds like my breathing slows
With every rise and fall,
I’m dying.
Together.
Feels like – dying.
Alone.
Feels like red hot needles on bar skin.
Burns.
Rips my heart apart
And leaves me bleeding.
Sounds like an empty echo
Of a faltering heartbeat.
My heart’s slowly stopping,
It’s no longer beating for you.
Alone.
Tastes like – regret.
Together
Together.
Feels like hands wrapping around my throat,
Cutting off my air.
Chokes.
Squeezes the life out of me
And leaves me cold and gasping.
Sounds like my breathing slows
With every rise and fall,
I’m dying.
Together.
Feels like – dying.
Contradicting You
Contradicting You
You make me feel so blue,
You make me feel so beautiful.
I don’t understand, I’m so torn.
I can’t go on in the in between
Cuz it’s always been all or nothing with me.
But I can feel my beliefs changing
Because I’m not ready to give you up,
It still feels like home to me.
So – good morning,
And welcome to my walking contradictions,
My life with you.
You make me feel so blue,
You make me feel so beautiful.
I don’t understand, I’m so torn.
I can’t go on in the in between
Cuz it’s always been all or nothing with me.
But I can feel my beliefs changing
Because I’m not ready to give you up,
It still feels like home to me.
So – good morning,
And welcome to my walking contradictions,
My life with you.
Paper Tigers
Paper Tigers
My thoughts are paper tigers
That stalk me in my sleep.
I try to block them out,
But every minute you don’t call
They get more and more restless.
I wear them like a bracelet on my wrist,
But they’re more like shackles
And I’m never free.
My tigers have betrayed me.
They keep telling me things I don’t want to know
And laughing at my fears.
I know it’s irrational to believe
That we’re going to work it out completely,
That my thoughts will ever settle down.
They make me restless with worry.
Every moment I’m not with you,
The tigers are telling me you’re with someone else,
And you’re not thinking of me at all.
I’ll pounce on my thoughts
And silent their roars.
My thoughts are paper tigers
That stalk me in my sleep.
I try to block them out,
But every minute you don’t call
They get more and more restless.
I wear them like a bracelet on my wrist,
But they’re more like shackles
And I’m never free.
My tigers have betrayed me.
They keep telling me things I don’t want to know
And laughing at my fears.
I know it’s irrational to believe
That we’re going to work it out completely,
That my thoughts will ever settle down.
They make me restless with worry.
Every moment I’m not with you,
The tigers are telling me you’re with someone else,
And you’re not thinking of me at all.
I’ll pounce on my thoughts
And silent their roars.
Torn Inside
Torn Inside
Everybody just wants love,
But I don’t want to be anyone.
Love can lave you high and dry,
The words just never come easy
But the let down does.
As my dream dies,
Here on sweltering pavement
Choking on its own disguise,
I write these simple words
To let you know you’re not alone,
No one’s ever really alone.
But yet again I know my words ring empty,
And my tears are the only truth
That’s left beating in our hearts.
Because this thing between us,
Has been going downhill for so long,
Ever since the day you kissed my cheek
And said we were “together”.
So I guess everything I hoped for
Is now everything I’ve lost,
Cuz the one thing that I wanted
Is the one thing that causes me pain.
Everybody just wants love,
But I don’t want to be anyone.
Love can lave you high and dry,
The words just never come easy
But the let down does.
As my dream dies,
Here on sweltering pavement
Choking on its own disguise,
I write these simple words
To let you know you’re not alone,
No one’s ever really alone.
But yet again I know my words ring empty,
And my tears are the only truth
That’s left beating in our hearts.
Because this thing between us,
Has been going downhill for so long,
Ever since the day you kissed my cheek
And said we were “together”.
So I guess everything I hoped for
Is now everything I’ve lost,
Cuz the one thing that I wanted
Is the one thing that causes me pain.
Slip Away
Slip Away
I don’t know myself
And I’ve only just realized it.
You’ve got me questioning
Everything I understood before,
And it’s making me wonder:
What is real?
It’s like everything else is so inconsequential,
Like life is so much more…complicated.
If I fall would you catch me?
And will this ever go any further?
I feel like we’re stuck
And I know:
The things that we’re blind to slip away.
Don’t let me slip away…
I don’t know myself
And I’ve only just realized it.
You’ve got me questioning
Everything I understood before,
And it’s making me wonder:
What is real?
It’s like everything else is so inconsequential,
Like life is so much more…complicated.
If I fall would you catch me?
And will this ever go any further?
I feel like we’re stuck
And I know:
The things that we’re blind to slip away.
Don’t let me slip away…
Sometimes life just…
Sometimes life just…
Sometimes life just makes you want to
Slit your wrists and end it all.
Like when you’re alone feeling cold,
And waiting up all night for the call
That never comes.
When your world is nothing but rain,
Nothing but gray skies
And teardrops pouring down.
Yet sometimes life makes you want to dance,
When your vision’s full of butterflies and rainbows,
Sunshine and glee.
When everything is right and life’s a song.
But what about when you’re in between?
That’s when you feel left out,
Nervous, anxious, comfortable,
Calm, angry, upset, emotional, confused.
That’s when your feelings are all jumbled
And words just don’t come out right.
That’s when I truly feel alive.
Sometimes life just makes you want to
Slit your wrists and end it all.
Like when you’re alone feeling cold,
And waiting up all night for the call
That never comes.
When your world is nothing but rain,
Nothing but gray skies
And teardrops pouring down.
Yet sometimes life makes you want to dance,
When your vision’s full of butterflies and rainbows,
Sunshine and glee.
When everything is right and life’s a song.
But what about when you’re in between?
That’s when you feel left out,
Nervous, anxious, comfortable,
Calm, angry, upset, emotional, confused.
That’s when your feelings are all jumbled
And words just don’t come out right.
That’s when I truly feel alive.
Song of You
Song of You
I feel you like a song
Rushing through my veins,
Like you’re the melody of my life.
How could we go for so long without this?
How did I survive without the knowledge
Of all that you do?
My life seems like a darkened shadow before I met you.
I couldn’t have imagined that life could be this good.
But now you’re the song,
Now you’re inside every part of me.
I feel you like a song
Rushing through my veins,
Like you’re the melody of my life.
How could we go for so long without this?
How did I survive without the knowledge
Of all that you do?
My life seems like a darkened shadow before I met you.
I couldn’t have imagined that life could be this good.
But now you’re the song,
Now you’re inside every part of me.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
You Looked So Beautiful
You Looked So Beautiful
You looked so beautiful the day you died.
Your cheeks were rosy,
Your smile so bright
That anyone who saw it couldn’t doubt
That all must be right in the world.
And yet there was so much that wasn’t.
Your eyes shone – wet, gleaming,
Reflecting my own face back at me
As you danced in the morning dew.
Dear child, would could have known
That your laugh would ever fade?
Passerby stopped to stare
At your still form in the grass,
As we labored to breathe life back into you.
Your eyes were lifeless the,
No longer dancing in the fading light.
Something was already missing within you,
Yet you’d been drifting from us for awhile,
Parts of you slipping away, unnoticed:
A misplaced laugh,
A sudden stupor like a light switch
Being flipped inside your brain.
They said you weren’t there
But I know you never left us,
Not even as we pressed your chest
Hoping, beyond all hope,
that it might rise and fall on its own again.
DOA they said
As tears slipped down my cheeks
And fell onto your faded ones.
DOA.
You looked so beautiful the day you died.
But on that day,
My heart died with you.
You looked so beautiful the day you died.
Your cheeks were rosy,
Your smile so bright
That anyone who saw it couldn’t doubt
That all must be right in the world.
And yet there was so much that wasn’t.
Your eyes shone – wet, gleaming,
Reflecting my own face back at me
As you danced in the morning dew.
Dear child, would could have known
That your laugh would ever fade?
Passerby stopped to stare
At your still form in the grass,
As we labored to breathe life back into you.
Your eyes were lifeless the,
No longer dancing in the fading light.
Something was already missing within you,
Yet you’d been drifting from us for awhile,
Parts of you slipping away, unnoticed:
A misplaced laugh,
A sudden stupor like a light switch
Being flipped inside your brain.
They said you weren’t there
But I know you never left us,
Not even as we pressed your chest
Hoping, beyond all hope,
that it might rise and fall on its own again.
DOA they said
As tears slipped down my cheeks
And fell onto your faded ones.
DOA.
You looked so beautiful the day you died.
But on that day,
My heart died with you.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Souls Without Names
Souls Without Names
Lost with no hope of being whole,
Or even being human.
Faces that will never smile,
Never laugh and never cry.
Eyes that will never blink in glaring sunlight.
Hands that will never hold another’s.
Little hearts that will never love
Once their beating slows and stops.
A life never lived,
Love never loved.
Souls that will never experience joy
Or loss or pain or cheer.
Souls that will drift forever,
Nameless.
Lost with no hope of being whole,
Or even being human.
Faces that will never smile,
Never laugh and never cry.
Eyes that will never blink in glaring sunlight.
Hands that will never hold another’s.
Little hearts that will never love
Once their beating slows and stops.
A life never lived,
Love never loved.
Souls that will never experience joy
Or loss or pain or cheer.
Souls that will drift forever,
Nameless.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Pieces
Pieces
Crash.
Shatter.
My broken heart lies in pieces on the floor.
Silent pain washes over me.
I turn my eyes skyward,
And pray for rain.
Crash.
Shatter.
My broken heart lies in pieces on the floor.
Silent pain washes over me.
I turn my eyes skyward,
And pray for rain.
Broken Heart
Broken Heart
I feel the blood pulsing through my veins,
It pumps against my cheek where my wrist is held.
I know that should make me feel alive,
But today it doesn’t.
Today I’m feeling dead to the world.
My emotions are locked away today,
And my broken heart is hidden
Behind my sad brown eyes.
I know you can’t see it,
And I know you’re probably not even
Thinking of me.
So my broken heart’s still beating,
And somehow I still need you.
I feel the blood pulsing through my veins,
It pumps against my cheek where my wrist is held.
I know that should make me feel alive,
But today it doesn’t.
Today I’m feeling dead to the world.
My emotions are locked away today,
And my broken heart is hidden
Behind my sad brown eyes.
I know you can’t see it,
And I know you’re probably not even
Thinking of me.
So my broken heart’s still beating,
And somehow I still need you.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Love Hurts
Love Hurts
Love hurts.
It just hurts.
A dull, throbbing, aching pain
Somewhere in my chest,
Behind the ribs.
It’s something I can’t get rid of,
No matter how hard I try.
And with every day that goes by
It gets worse.
Every heartbeat seems to tear me up a little more inside.
Every beat says to me –
“Love, love, love”, and
“Pain, pain, pain”.
I can’t go on like this,
Honestly I can’t.
It’s almost too much to bear.
Love hurts.
It just hurts.
A dull, throbbing, aching pain
Somewhere in my chest,
Behind the ribs.
It’s something I can’t get rid of,
No matter how hard I try.
And with every day that goes by
It gets worse.
Every heartbeat seems to tear me up a little more inside.
Every beat says to me –
“Love, love, love”, and
“Pain, pain, pain”.
I can’t go on like this,
Honestly I can’t.
It’s almost too much to bear.
Epic Romance
Epic Romance
I will be your Juliet.
Love at first sight I felt
The moment I looked into your eyes.
I will strive to make our ending happy.
I will be your Audrey.
I will give up all other claims
And let you shield me.
Your love will heal my wounds.
I will be your Elphaba.
I will love you as long as you’re mine,
Whether that be a lifetime or a day.
I would defy the world for you.
I will be your Christine.
I will sing for you and only you,
Lift me voice to let you know
How my heart beats for you only.
I will be your Satine.
I will devote myself to you,
Leave my old world behind,
Even if I have to give up myself.
I will be your Belle.
I will pledge my undying love
And calm your erratic fears,
With your hand in mine we’ll waltz.
I will be your Juliet.
Love at first sight I felt
The moment I looked into your eyes.
I will strive to make our ending happy.
I will be your Audrey.
I will give up all other claims
And let you shield me.
Your love will heal my wounds.
I will be your Elphaba.
I will love you as long as you’re mine,
Whether that be a lifetime or a day.
I would defy the world for you.
I will be your Christine.
I will sing for you and only you,
Lift me voice to let you know
How my heart beats for you only.
I will be your Satine.
I will devote myself to you,
Leave my old world behind,
Even if I have to give up myself.
I will be your Belle.
I will pledge my undying love
And calm your erratic fears,
With your hand in mine we’ll waltz.
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