I Didn’t Listen

I Didn’t Listen

She said, quite clearly,
"Don't throw that toaster in the bathtub".
I didn't listen.
I thought, hey, it's probably like that
"Don't pick your face" thing,
it doesn't really matter.

I guess it did to her.

Emotionless

Emotionless

I think it’d be better if we had no emotions.
We’d never be afraid of rejection
because we’d never feel the need
to put our hearts and souls on the line,
and offer them up to someone
who just might feel the same
but probably doesn’t
and won’t.
Wouldn’t it be better if we didn’t have to worry about that?

Meant to Be

Meant to Be

“Desire is the source of all.”
We come together,
awkward combinations
of fingers and legs and lips,
tangled hair and eyes shut tight.
Your hand, my hand,
we fit so perfectly.
In the darkness,
I can definitely see.
I think maybe we’re meant to be.

Walls

Walls

You put up walls,
meant to block me out,
meant to fence you in,
meant to keep us far apart.
I couldn’t stop you,
because I never saw the bricks you laid
so slowly, one on top of the other,
blocking me out,
bit by bit,
blocking out the sky.
Your walls were invisible,
but I felt it,
when I ran headfirst into them.
I felt it shatter my heart
and rattle my brain,
bring me shaking to my knees.
You put up walls,
meant to block me out,
meant to fence you in,
meant to keep us far apart.

Unbroken

Unbroken

Happiness dances just beyond my outstretched fingertips.
Lonely has become my constant companion,
the only one who’ll hold my hand
and bandage up my broken heart.
Trust has abandoned me,
took one look at my empty eyes,
panicked and ran the other way.
I wish I could feel anything
other than alone,
anything other than abandoned.
Wish I could live my life,
unbroken,
unbridled,
and free.

Destruction

Destruction

I built my castle of honesty,
of truth and love and beauty.
You laid siege with your frigid demeanor,
your harsh words and unforgiving eyes,
tearing down everything I had worked so hard for.
What did I do to deserve this?
I never gave you anything but the kindest words,
the softest touches, the sweetest kisses.
You took me for granted,
and you took me out,
destroyed my dreams,
and I have not been the same since.

Growing Up

Growing Up

We sit picking through the rubble,
finding pieces of the people we used to love,
finding pieces of the hearts we used to have.
They tell us we're too young
we don't know what love is.
Well we're just products of our environments,
kids bred by war and commercialism
searching for any straws to grasp
in this thankless world,
and we find love.
Love is our outlet.
We love our friends, we love our pets,
we love each other.
No, we're not too young to love,
to feel, to learn, to grow,
to open ourselves up
and get our hearts broken,
all by ourselves.

Done

Done

I wish you meant it when you said "I love you"
because i meant it every single time,
those instances when we lay intertwined
whispering in each other's ears,
promises you never followed through on.
I loved you more than all the stars in the sky
and you took it all for granted,
that I'd always be there
that I'd stick around through all the neglect,
the emotional abuse,
the fights and you ignoring me for days on end.
Well, baby, I know you miss me now
but I am done with you.

Nothing

Nothing

Nothing binds us together now.
No promises, no vows,
no tangled veins and arteries
connecting my pained heart to yours.
You owe me nothing,
so I get nothing in return.
This is the way it always works itself out in the end,
you leave
and I'm left with nothing
but the sand sifting slowly through my fingers.

You’re A Charm

You’re A Charm

You spend your life trapped under glass,
a shiny gold bauble in a world made of brass.
You're not meant for this kind of slavery,
for things so vile and so unsavory.

Keep your eyes on the sky,
don't let your confidence be shaken.
There's a whole big world right out there
just waiting to be taken.
If you keep on sleeping
while the whole damn world is weeping,
you'll never find your wings,
no, you'll never learn to fly
and the world gets one more reason
to sit right down and cry.

Too Old

Too Old

My therapist said "regression is normal".
My mother said I was too old
to lay on the floor with a box of crayons
and color in my coloring books.
Too old to wear a plastic tiara outside the house.
Too old to call her "mommy".
My friends said I was fine
and that the Disney princess band aid
covering the shaving cut on my ankle,
was perfectly acceptable.
My ex kissed my lips in the dark of the movie theater
before he told me that he'd found someone new,
but that he'd always love me.
He traced shapes on my forehead with his fingertips
and I silently starting reciting my ABCs
and the names of all the My Little Ponies I had in my room.
My therapist said "regression is normal".
My mother said I was too old
to talk back to my video games
as if there was actually someone there
capable of listening and understanding.
Too old to skip down the street.
Too old to play with Barbies when I had nothing better to do.
My friends said I was fine
and that my Happy Feet obsession
was completely normal,
and that they loved the little penguins too.
My ex held my hand on the Tower of Terror
because he hadn't been on it since he was 5
and he was scared of dying,
and my hand was the only thing keeping him grounded.
I wound my arm with his own like my life depended on it.
And never once did I tell him he was too old
to be scared.

Series 1

Black Out

She found solace in the bottom of a bottle of pills
when she saw the pictures of them together,
when she realized he'd moved on
and she was still all alone.


Fun Fair

I watched you spinning round and round,
your legs streaming free
but your hair was so tangled.
And from the safety of the ground
I watched as the gears sucked you in,
let you go.
I watched as you were spun like a top.
The colors were so bright.


Melt

The ice caps melted.
I had a scuba mask and a snorkel,
and my belongings in a Ziploc bag
but there was nothing left
of what we had been.
I guess we shouldn't keep memories on paper.


Horror Movie

I won't be the first to die.


Machinery

"I'd give my soul to have you back."
I didn't sign a contract,
there's nothing to hold me to.


Some Call It Stalking, I Call It Love

When I see you through your bedroom window,
you look so sad at night.
I pretend that I'm all you need
but I realize I must be crazy,
and this tree is really not able to hold my weight
much longer.


Rice

You never considered me broken.
Well, I heard that rice expands
and makes pidgeons explode.
So I mixed them some rice & glitter
and held hands with a stranger in the park.


Reverse

I broke my mirror
trying to climb through
and find a world
where the truck got run over
by the Volkswagon,
and the driver ended up 6 feet under,
instead of her.


Maybe

Maybe next year
will be my year.
Maybe it was last year.
Maybe it will never be.


New Year’s Resolutions

I'm not making New Year's resolutions
because they never make it past February
and I'm still not going to lose that weight
or find a boy who actually cares.


Wish Upon a Star

I saw a shooting star last night
but the news said it was the space station exploding.
I won't be making any more wishes.


Suicide Lost

I wanted to drown
but the warm water turned into your voice,
and I remembered how it was the soundtrack to my entire life
and sang instead.


Zombie Boyfriend

I rent movies from Blockbuster,
I go to the mall,
I still don't know how to cook.
I'm normal.
They all get so upset
when they learn I'm dating a zombie.


Bowling

Every pin I knock down
is a boy who'll break my heart.
I always get strikes.


Not Ugly

When we die we come back as something different.
Maybe with greener eyes.
Maybe as a brand new star.


Angel

I don't know if you're real
but I follow you all the time
and one of these days,
I will reach out and feel your wings under my hands.
Maybe then I'll know for sure.


Merry Christmas

This Christmas I was going to send you my heart.
My friends talked me out of it.
Why would I want to send you something broken?


Ocean

I should have been brave enough to ask your name.
Instead I drew your picture in the sand
and left you standing there on the edge of the ocean.
I left you there alone.


Inequalities

I said "Let's hold hands"
You said "Eternity"


Fear

What if the sky falls down tonight?
Everything we worked for was in vain.
The oceans dried up, the flowers wilted
and every single person on the planet
disappeared.
What if you really found someone new?


Listen

Sometimes I wish you had just listened,
but other times I realize
that all the things I needed you to hear,
I never said out loud.

Survey Says

The only reason I do MySpace surveys,
is because I secretly hope you'll read them
and realize that almost every answer
is about
YOU.


Sunglasses

Lately my eyes look so sad.
That's the real reason I wear such big sunglasses.
I never told you,
because you caused it.


Fragile

He's afraid to touch you
because he's afraid you'll break.
That's how thin you've gotten,
and none of us know how to stop you.


Words

I don't say "I love you" unless I mean it.
You pass out "I miss you" too easily.


How Does It Feel?

Sometimes I write stories
where we're the main characters.
You're the hero
and I'm the one that slips through your fingers,
every time.


Lonely

I slept with him because I wanted to.
But now I realize I only wanted to make you jealous.
You still haven't begged for me to come back.

Never Meant To Be

Never Meant To Be

We shared a love of the theatre,
cold lemonade on a hot Disney day
the feel of your hand in mine
when we rode the Tower of Terror,
your eyes locked onto mine
when we held each other in my car for hours.
You like Coldplay and I can't stand them,
but you turned me on to Taking Back Sunday,
Hellogoodbye.
We were two peas from different pods,
somehow connected by mutual adoration
of music and life and the Real World.
How did we end up together,
like two pieces of a puzzle we fit,
arms locked around each other
when we kissed for real for the first time
outside the gymnasium to the sounds of "Shout!"
And where did it all fall apart?
When did we lose sight of all our common ground
and let our differences tear us apart?
Distance, age, hopes and dreams and fears.
You called and let me go while I curled up on a Walmart shelf,
unable to comprehend,
we reconciled.
I called and left you a message telling you it was over for good.
Now here I am, alone,
still waiting for you to call.
Don't move on.

Desperado

Desperado

You say you hate this town,
well baby what are you doing hanging around here for?
You know damn well no place could ever hold you,
you gotta spread your wings and be free.
So take hold of that velvet rope
and just slip right on under,
you weren't meant for fancy cages
of jewels and gold and glass.
You were meant to be soaring just out of my reach,
stretching your fingers just far enough
so that my hands could never touch yours.