1. I crave introspection, a look inside myself might reveal the spot where you cracked open my ribs and stole my heart away but it might also show my shriveled pride and dying sense of self-worth. I’m a cartoon cut-out paper doll trying to make a name for myself in this oversized 3D world. When I die I want a Death Day party, loud music and party favors. Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.
2. You threw me up against the wall. I cracked my head and slipped away into Neverland and I fear I’ll never return but I love the colors so I think I’ll be okay.
3. Moon and stars, sun, clouds, sky, water. I swim through the ocean, I feel the sand between my toes, my eyes are burning in the sunlight. You took my hand and tore my smile but you’re still the one I love deep inside.
4. It’s a beautiful day. We’ll lay outside and feel the grass on our backs and make wishes on clouds that pass us by.
5. We sit around and try to rhyme “orange”, wracking our brains but coming up with nothing. Exasperated, we give up on poetry and write love letters instead.
6. I lon to fly like the hawks that circle lazily in the sky high above my head. Alas, my rooftop is too low and my paper-mache skills too underdeveloped.
7. The sound of Heaven is not of bells chiming or a Hallelujah chorus. To me, the sound of Heaven is your voice whispering sweet nothings in my ear and never stopping. Eternity.
8. May we stay young and semi-innocent forever with our eyes on the stars and our lips spilling praise for our lovers till we can speak no more from throats torn apart with unbridled lust.
9. To me you are a child, wide-eyed and innocent, reaching for me to hold me close and steal my warmth. In your eyes I am heroin, your addiction and your lust, your downfall, but you cannot let me go and I cannot let you down.
10. I will stalk you in the night like a werewolf hunting at full moon. When you run from me, I will pursue you but I will let you run just ahead of me forever.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Ashes, Ashes, We All Fall Down
Ashes, Ashes, We All Fall Down
Petals unfurl into starlight
lighting worlds formed in darkness.
In the underbelly of the world
we are red-eyed demon children,
clinging to the hopes of a love reborn.
Can’t you see this world is dying?
We shatter all our bones
but keep our minds intact,
ripe for the plundering.
They rip our thoughts from our fingertips
while we stand by and watch,
our lips silent and our eyes vacant.
Will you always be silenced?
Nothing but Hell’s minions
slaves to lace trimmed lust,
we all fall down.
Petals unfurl into starlight
lighting worlds formed in darkness.
In the underbelly of the world
we are red-eyed demon children,
clinging to the hopes of a love reborn.
Can’t you see this world is dying?
We shatter all our bones
but keep our minds intact,
ripe for the plundering.
They rip our thoughts from our fingertips
while we stand by and watch,
our lips silent and our eyes vacant.
Will you always be silenced?
Nothing but Hell’s minions
slaves to lace trimmed lust,
we all fall down.
Wilting Roses
Wilting Roses
The night burns bright in your eyes, so dark,
they reflect it back like fire.
I burned all my memories
till there was nothing but ashes,
an entire funeral pyre
disintegrating in the noonday sun,
but your face remains engraved in my cerebrum.
No amount of acid could burn away
the memory of your touch, your kiss.
I am nothing but a sailboat
set adrift upon a stormy sea.
Without you here to tether me,
I am but a shadow, a glimmer of what I once was.
I am wilting roses,
petals floating on summer breezes.
Children gather flowers,
ignoring the blood that streams
as the thorns tear apart their skin,
I am gone.
The night burns bright in your eyes, so dark,
they reflect it back like fire.
I burned all my memories
till there was nothing but ashes,
an entire funeral pyre
disintegrating in the noonday sun,
but your face remains engraved in my cerebrum.
No amount of acid could burn away
the memory of your touch, your kiss.
I am nothing but a sailboat
set adrift upon a stormy sea.
Without you here to tether me,
I am but a shadow, a glimmer of what I once was.
I am wilting roses,
petals floating on summer breezes.
Children gather flowers,
ignoring the blood that streams
as the thorns tear apart their skin,
I am gone.
Magic Realism
Magic Realism
If you dream of me I will appear,
soft-edged as if a dream.
Forget to believe in me I will fade away,
shimmering and glittering as if a cloud of dust.
Even though I only die in your dreams,
my body will cease to exist,
you know I will be no more.
When I am gone,
bury me in your backyard
and plant a seed above my body.
Once it takes root I will come back to you,
growing strong, leafy, and green,
an oak tree to watch over you forever.
I am the ocean in which you swim,
my legs the sand between your toes.
I melt through your fingers
for we can never be.
I am nothing but an endless acid trip.
If you dream of me I will appear,
soft-edged as if a dream.
Forget to believe in me I will fade away,
shimmering and glittering as if a cloud of dust.
Even though I only die in your dreams,
my body will cease to exist,
you know I will be no more.
When I am gone,
bury me in your backyard
and plant a seed above my body.
Once it takes root I will come back to you,
growing strong, leafy, and green,
an oak tree to watch over you forever.
I am the ocean in which you swim,
my legs the sand between your toes.
I melt through your fingers
for we can never be.
I am nothing but an endless acid trip.
Rehab
Rehab
Her bandaged arms are thin and weak
below her rolled-up shirt-sleeves.
Her lips tremble when she speaks,
“these scars help me feel alive”.
In this cold, clinical room
where her only friends are metal folding chairs,
a beautiful young girl is reclaiming herself.
She lost it once, to a boy with soft kisses,
who held her close and whispered
“I will always love you”
but never meant it.
She lost it again, to a bottle of booze,
a handful of pills and a hospital stay,
her mother crying and her father walking away.
But it was the third time she lost it,
that landed her here,
in between the girl who never talks
and the boy who screams at night.
She took the razor to her fragile wrists,
leaving behind nothing but blood-stained bathroom tiles,
a tear-stained note crumpled in her hand.
Her father cried the entire time
as he carried her the three blocks to the hospital.
But now she is finally recapturing her hope,
with every word she chooses so carefully
“I don’t want to hurt anymore”.
She is too thin, too scared,
her hands shake but it’s just the drugs,
she’s crying.
They don’t understand, they never could,
and once they’ve all gone,
she is left dropping tears on the tiled floor.
And in the morning she’ll be gone.
Her bandaged arms are thin and weak
below her rolled-up shirt-sleeves.
Her lips tremble when she speaks,
“these scars help me feel alive”.
In this cold, clinical room
where her only friends are metal folding chairs,
a beautiful young girl is reclaiming herself.
She lost it once, to a boy with soft kisses,
who held her close and whispered
“I will always love you”
but never meant it.
She lost it again, to a bottle of booze,
a handful of pills and a hospital stay,
her mother crying and her father walking away.
But it was the third time she lost it,
that landed her here,
in between the girl who never talks
and the boy who screams at night.
She took the razor to her fragile wrists,
leaving behind nothing but blood-stained bathroom tiles,
a tear-stained note crumpled in her hand.
Her father cried the entire time
as he carried her the three blocks to the hospital.
But now she is finally recapturing her hope,
with every word she chooses so carefully
“I don’t want to hurt anymore”.
She is too thin, too scared,
her hands shake but it’s just the drugs,
she’s crying.
They don’t understand, they never could,
and once they’ve all gone,
she is left dropping tears on the tiled floor.
And in the morning she’ll be gone.
Affair with the Vampire
Affair with the Vampire
Anne Rice never dreamt of this,
you slide your fangs out as we kiss.
My pulse, it quickens, but I am still,
your lips find my neck, I know they will.
I close my eyes as I slip away,
my flowing blood keeps words at bay.
You draw my life in through your teeth,
I feel myself drift off to sleep.
You’ll be beside me when I wake,
I’ll be hungry to replace what you take.
Your veins pulse below my fingertips,
You cry out when I bite your lips.
We lose ourselves in this vampiric love of ours,
I lie back and I thank the stars.
Anne Rice never dreamt of this,
you slide your fangs out as we kiss.
My pulse, it quickens, but I am still,
your lips find my neck, I know they will.
I close my eyes as I slip away,
my flowing blood keeps words at bay.
You draw my life in through your teeth,
I feel myself drift off to sleep.
You’ll be beside me when I wake,
I’ll be hungry to replace what you take.
Your veins pulse below my fingertips,
You cry out when I bite your lips.
We lose ourselves in this vampiric love of ours,
I lie back and I thank the stars.
Moon Child
Moon Child
I shall not swear my love for you,
not by the moon,
for the moon is fickle and ever-changing.
She is never whole for long,
but my love is.
I love you complete,
every fiber of skin,
every blink of your eyelid,
each step that you take
leading you closer to me.
But, you see, I am the incomplete one,
I am the moon,
ever-changing, ever-leaving,
fickle as the silver reflection of the sun.
I shall not swear my love for you,
not by the moon,
for the moon is fickle and ever-changing.
She is never whole for long,
but my love is.
I love you complete,
every fiber of skin,
every blink of your eyelid,
each step that you take
leading you closer to me.
But, you see, I am the incomplete one,
I am the moon,
ever-changing, ever-leaving,
fickle as the silver reflection of the sun.
As You Sleep
As You Sleep
I watch you while you sleep,
eyelids fluttering softy
against your soft pale cheeks,
breath coming in small gasps.
When I’ve got your arms wrapped around me,
your face pressed gently into the curve of my neck,
I sleep sound.
I watch you while you sleep,
eyelids fluttering softy
against your soft pale cheeks,
breath coming in small gasps.
When I’ve got your arms wrapped around me,
your face pressed gently into the curve of my neck,
I sleep sound.
Eternal
Eternal
For love is as strong as death,
and just as permananet.
Your love was like a seal on my heart,
I’ve finally broken free.
Look, I have found my wings,
they were right at my fingertips every single time,
though I never realized.
Smile love, my former love,
for friendship binds me to you
and love binds me to you,
our hearts were once connected
and still, our souls are.
We are eternal, my once love,
eternal.
For love is as strong as death,
and just as permananet.
Your love was like a seal on my heart,
I’ve finally broken free.
Look, I have found my wings,
they were right at my fingertips every single time,
though I never realized.
Smile love, my former love,
for friendship binds me to you
and love binds me to you,
our hearts were once connected
and still, our souls are.
We are eternal, my once love,
eternal.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Illuminata
Illuminata
Love enduring over time,
your memories serve me well
but don’t begin to compare.
You complete my dreams
I cannot get around you,
over you.
I cannot change to fit you,
I am always changing to fit me.
You still want me
despite my imperfections,
my overreacting doesn’t throw you off,
you find my helplessness attractive.
You feed my hunger,
feed my lust.
I cannot breathe without knowing
you are breathing the same elsewhere.
I am not perfect,
I am so flawed,
but if you are looking for someone
to love you imperfectly,
I am here.
Look no further.
Love enduring over time,
your memories serve me well
but don’t begin to compare.
You complete my dreams
I cannot get around you,
over you.
I cannot change to fit you,
I am always changing to fit me.
You still want me
despite my imperfections,
my overreacting doesn’t throw you off,
you find my helplessness attractive.
You feed my hunger,
feed my lust.
I cannot breathe without knowing
you are breathing the same elsewhere.
I am not perfect,
I am so flawed,
but if you are looking for someone
to love you imperfectly,
I am here.
Look no further.
Early Morning on the Upper East Side
Early Morning on the Upper East Side
Wind kicks up
sending swirls of leaves
fluttering about the sidewalk,
like many winged butterflies
leaving the ground.
8 AM is not too early
to spill your guts across the asphalt,
rotten bloody entrails
baking in the hot morning sun.
It’s not too early
for the St John’s schoolgirls,
readjusting their skirts in dark alleyways,
sending their suitors on their ways.
It is not too late
to roll up your stockings,
tie your shoelaces,
and make it to class on time.
The girls sidestep to avoid the pile,
stinking meat decomposing in the street,
yanking on their sweatshirts
trying to salvage their reputations.
The leaves settle outside the classroom windows,
under the baleful watch of prep-school boys
longing for the busty young women
who wink coquettishly upwards,
their plaid skirts swinging in the breeze.
The boys cover their laps with textbooks,
and the teacher drones on and on.
Wind kicks up
sending swirls of leaves
fluttering about the sidewalk,
like many winged butterflies
leaving the ground.
8 AM is not too early
to spill your guts across the asphalt,
rotten bloody entrails
baking in the hot morning sun.
It’s not too early
for the St John’s schoolgirls,
readjusting their skirts in dark alleyways,
sending their suitors on their ways.
It is not too late
to roll up your stockings,
tie your shoelaces,
and make it to class on time.
The girls sidestep to avoid the pile,
stinking meat decomposing in the street,
yanking on their sweatshirts
trying to salvage their reputations.
The leaves settle outside the classroom windows,
under the baleful watch of prep-school boys
longing for the busty young women
who wink coquettishly upwards,
their plaid skirts swinging in the breeze.
The boys cover their laps with textbooks,
and the teacher drones on and on.
Torturous
Torturous
Days pass by,
an eternity,
torture,
self-doubt.
I feel you,
as if you were just behind me
your breath on my neck.
I’m drowning under this weight
of keeping everything I feel for you
locked up so tight inside.
You could be the one
and that scares me.
Days pass by,
an eternity,
torture,
self-doubt.
I feel you,
as if you were just behind me
your breath on my neck.
I’m drowning under this weight
of keeping everything I feel for you
locked up so tight inside.
You could be the one
and that scares me.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Sell Yourself
Sell Yourself
Sell yourself for newfound fame,
cheap lace and vicarious thrills.
Your body is his plaything
and you want it more than anything.
Give in, let the wave sweep you away.
This is all you’ve ever wanted, ever needed,
your naked curves on display
for all the world to see.
Sell yourself for newfound fame,
perhaps you’ll get it.
Your big break,
your 15 minutes,
all yours if you sell yourself
for the sake of your art.
Sell yourself for newfound fame,
cheap lace and vicarious thrills.
Your body is his plaything
and you want it more than anything.
Give in, let the wave sweep you away.
This is all you’ve ever wanted, ever needed,
your naked curves on display
for all the world to see.
Sell yourself for newfound fame,
perhaps you’ll get it.
Your big break,
your 15 minutes,
all yours if you sell yourself
for the sake of your art.
We Are Alive
We Are Alive
There is only now,
so scream your lungs out
because tomorrow the chance may be gone.
Give your heart out
because who needs it anyways?
Cry, laugh, live, love,
smile,
run your fingers through my hair.
All it not lost.
We are alive.
There is only now,
so scream your lungs out
because tomorrow the chance may be gone.
Give your heart out
because who needs it anyways?
Cry, laugh, live, love,
smile,
run your fingers through my hair.
All it not lost.
We are alive.
The Terrible Truth
The Terrible Truth
Your mind a labyrinth,
your eyes an ocean.
No two people are alike.
My mind’s a disaster,
my eyes – abyss.
No two snowflakes are alike.
The winter came, cold and hard,
destroying everything we felt,
turning my heart to unfeeling stone.
No two people are alike.
You pushed me away
but still I clung feverishly to hope,
my heart beating in time with yours in the darkness.
No two moments are alike.
Your lips on mine,
our hips pressed together fervently,
your hand on my leg,
your arms around me.
You held me close once.
I strain for the day you will again.
No two moments are alike.
Your mind a labyrinth,
your eyes an ocean.
No two people are alike.
My mind’s a disaster,
my eyes – abyss.
No two snowflakes are alike.
The winter came, cold and hard,
destroying everything we felt,
turning my heart to unfeeling stone.
No two people are alike.
You pushed me away
but still I clung feverishly to hope,
my heart beating in time with yours in the darkness.
No two moments are alike.
Your lips on mine,
our hips pressed together fervently,
your hand on my leg,
your arms around me.
You held me close once.
I strain for the day you will again.
No two moments are alike.
Within Your Arms
Within Your Arms
I don’t have all the answers.
The universe is still an open book to me,
though written in some language
I cant quite understand.
Your eyes contain multitudes,
entire cities trapped within
their inky depths.
I could get lost in that maze
of street signs and highways,
full of directions leading me
directly to your heart.
You read me like a map,
how did you get inside my brain?
You’re living in the spaces between,
pulling me in so easily.
I’m not so easy to capture
like some beautiful butterfly
you’d pin to your wall.
I have wings, I need to fly,
and yet you make me
want to forsake all the sky
and breathe forever
within your arms.
I don’t have all the answers.
The universe is still an open book to me,
though written in some language
I cant quite understand.
Your eyes contain multitudes,
entire cities trapped within
their inky depths.
I could get lost in that maze
of street signs and highways,
full of directions leading me
directly to your heart.
You read me like a map,
how did you get inside my brain?
You’re living in the spaces between,
pulling me in so easily.
I’m not so easy to capture
like some beautiful butterfly
you’d pin to your wall.
I have wings, I need to fly,
and yet you make me
want to forsake all the sky
and breathe forever
within your arms.
Over My Head
Over My Head
I am in over my head,
my mind is spitting out Polaroids
of everything we ever did.
I remember your hand on my hip,
your lips on my lips,
your teeth in my neck
and your tongue on my thigh.
Every word you ever spoke,
every moan from your lips
and every time you laid a hand on me,
I am transfixed.
You are always on my mind,
I’m such a nervous wreck,
and for some odd reason
I like it.
I am in over my head,
my mind is spitting out Polaroids
of everything we ever did.
I remember your hand on my hip,
your lips on my lips,
your teeth in my neck
and your tongue on my thigh.
Every word you ever spoke,
every moan from your lips
and every time you laid a hand on me,
I am transfixed.
You are always on my mind,
I’m such a nervous wreck,
and for some odd reason
I like it.
Bittersweet Revelry
Bittersweet Revelry
Sheathed in jade green silk,
her eyes aflame,
hair cascading
like soft waves on desolate beaches,
she twirls in circles
through the graying fields of midnight.
Why are the wood nymphs feasting?
Their honey-eyes are glazed,
nimble fingers wrapped
round the rough-barked trunks
of the ancient Oak trees of the meadow.
The air is resplendent with sounds of wonder,
exploding in the night sky.
She twirls in circles,
through the moonlit fields of midnight,
past the wood nymphs’ revelry.
There are tears glistening in her almond eyes
but her head is held high,
and she twirls on through the night.
Sheathed in jade green silk,
her eyes aflame,
hair cascading
like soft waves on desolate beaches,
she twirls in circles
through the graying fields of midnight.
Why are the wood nymphs feasting?
Their honey-eyes are glazed,
nimble fingers wrapped
round the rough-barked trunks
of the ancient Oak trees of the meadow.
The air is resplendent with sounds of wonder,
exploding in the night sky.
She twirls in circles,
through the moonlit fields of midnight,
past the wood nymphs’ revelry.
There are tears glistening in her almond eyes
but her head is held high,
and she twirls on through the night.
Visions & Insecurities
Visions & Insecurities
It feels like I’m wearing a disguise,
every time he looks at me with those eyes.
I’m so afraid that he isn’t real,
and even more afraid of what I feel.
Is he simply just a vision?
Could he really be flesh and blood, living?
Sometimes I think this all just can’t be.
Why would he ever choose me?
It feels like I’m wearing a disguise,
every time he looks at me with those eyes.
I’m so afraid that he isn’t real,
and even more afraid of what I feel.
Is he simply just a vision?
Could he really be flesh and blood, living?
Sometimes I think this all just can’t be.
Why would he ever choose me?
Goodbye
Goodbye
Her eyes are wide,
all-knowing and all-seeing.
He swung a rope around the moon,
she wrapped it around her wrist
to keep the light in,
even when the darkness surrounded them both.
They were content just to lie there,
to breathe in sync with shooting stars
and feel the wind upon their cheeks.
His eyes are dark and hers are bright,
he is the moon but she is the sun
burning brighter than anything else in his world,
and all he can do is reflect love back at her.
She twines her fingers with his,
tears rolling down her face
as she whispers “I love you”
one last time.
Her eyes are wide,
all-knowing and all-seeing.
He swung a rope around the moon,
she wrapped it around her wrist
to keep the light in,
even when the darkness surrounded them both.
They were content just to lie there,
to breathe in sync with shooting stars
and feel the wind upon their cheeks.
His eyes are dark and hers are bright,
he is the moon but she is the sun
burning brighter than anything else in his world,
and all he can do is reflect love back at her.
She twines her fingers with his,
tears rolling down her face
as she whispers “I love you”
one last time.
Womankind
Womankind
Don’t be fooled by what you see,
there is so much more to me.
I am not just a pretty face
please see past my looks, my race.
There is a sadness here in my eyes,
for I can hear all my sisters’ cries.
I hear them in the distant places,
wordless cries from formless faces.
I hear my sisters dying of disease,
I hear my sisters forced to their knees.
I hear you sister, as he pins you down,
I hear you sister, as you hit the ground.
I hear you sisters, from beneath your veils,
I hear you sisters, as your vision fails.
I hear my sisters crying out for change,
I hear my sisters as we are silenced again.
I hear you sisters even if no one else can.
I hear you sisters, I hear you say “I am”.
I am not your possession,
I am not your slave.
I am not your ticket to Heaven,
nor your salvation from the grave.
I am my own person,
I am not yours to play.
I will not be silenced,
yes, I am here to stay.
Don’t be fooled by what you see,
there is so much more to me.
I am not just a pretty face
please see past my looks, my race.
There is a sadness here in my eyes,
for I can hear all my sisters’ cries.
I hear them in the distant places,
wordless cries from formless faces.
I hear my sisters dying of disease,
I hear my sisters forced to their knees.
I hear you sister, as he pins you down,
I hear you sister, as you hit the ground.
I hear you sisters, from beneath your veils,
I hear you sisters, as your vision fails.
I hear my sisters crying out for change,
I hear my sisters as we are silenced again.
I hear you sisters even if no one else can.
I hear you sisters, I hear you say “I am”.
I am not your possession,
I am not your slave.
I am not your ticket to Heaven,
nor your salvation from the grave.
I am my own person,
I am not yours to play.
I will not be silenced,
yes, I am here to stay.
Broken Wings
Broken Wings
I was a mourning dove,
cooing at the moon
with my broken wings,
longing for the sky.
You were whispering lies in my ears,
“you cannot fly,
you’ll never leave the ground”.
I let your words shackle me down,
let you keep me as your plaything
in a cage made not of bars and glass,
but of my own insecurities.
You thought my wanting to leave the earth
was nothing more than a foolish dream,
but I have wings
and you cannot keep me here any longer.
Not only angels know how to fly.
I was a mourning dove,
cooing at the moon
with my broken wings,
longing for the sky.
You were whispering lies in my ears,
“you cannot fly,
you’ll never leave the ground”.
I let your words shackle me down,
let you keep me as your plaything
in a cage made not of bars and glass,
but of my own insecurities.
You thought my wanting to leave the earth
was nothing more than a foolish dream,
but I have wings
and you cannot keep me here any longer.
Not only angels know how to fly.
Stars
Stars
You keep your eyes on me,
I keep my eyes on the stars.
This is a mission
I am confident I’ll complete.
Put your hand in mine,
we’ll jump into thin air
and hope the wind will catch us.
I will never let you fall,
my arms are wide open
and my eyes are shut so tight.
We’re changing bit by bit,
so keep your eyes on me.
We’re aiming for the stars.
You keep your eyes on me,
I keep my eyes on the stars.
This is a mission
I am confident I’ll complete.
Put your hand in mine,
we’ll jump into thin air
and hope the wind will catch us.
I will never let you fall,
my arms are wide open
and my eyes are shut so tight.
We’re changing bit by bit,
so keep your eyes on me.
We’re aiming for the stars.
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