Friday, June 29, 2007

Addicted (song)

Addicted

Oh no, you could never love me,
Oh no, you won’t even try.
Seven months and I’m still reeling,
your well-intentioned words still make me cry.
I know a woman should be strong,
but I’m only just learning how.
My heart is yearning to forget you,
but you’re my choice of addiction now.

I’ll never be sober,
I’ll never be right.
I know that it’s over,
I can’t help but fight.
I’m so sick of trying,
My heart’s just not tough.
I’m done with my crying,
Enough is enough.
I can’t drink you away,
(I can’t wish you away)
I can’t fly away,
I can’t fly away.

You’re not here to hold my hand,
Oh no, you never were.
You’re not near to dry my tears,
No, you’d rather be with her.
I hope she’s going to understand
when I call you late at night.
I’m still so damn addicted
but you will never be mine.

I’ll never be sober,
I’ll never be right.
I know that it’s over,
I can’t help but fight.
I’m so sick of trying,
My heart’s just not tough.
I’m done with my crying,
Enough is enough.
I can’t drink you away,
(I can’t wish you away)
I can’t fly away,
I can’t fly away.

I can’t get you out of my system,
there’s just no detox that strong.
I’m starting to realize I’ve been addicted all along,
I’ve been addicted all along.

I’ll never be sober,
I’ll never be right.
I know that it’s over,
I can’t help but fight.
I’m so sick of trying,
My heart’s just not tough.
I’m done with my crying,
Enough is enough.
I can’t drink you away,
(I can’t wish you away)
I can’t fly away,
I can’t fly away.

Friend

Friend

Forget the world we knew,
the one we once shared
before it all shattered apart,
when we were so close,
we seemed one soul.
Forget the words we whispered,
precious as vows in the darkness,
meaning nothing in the months to come.
Forget those moments
when the world didn’t exist,
when all that surrounded me
was your arms, your eyes, your lips,
yes, we were the only two people alive.
Remember that I loved you,
that I will until I die,
that every world I said to you was true
beyond the lies that separated us.
Remember that you loved me,
and your first true love never dies
even if we’ve both moved on,
even if we have separate lives.
Remember everything we shared,
every moment, every touch, every word.
We weren’t perfect
but who really could be?
We were something, once,
two hearts that beat at the same pace,
two souls that seemed sewn together
never to part.
So forget the fights,
the lonely nights,
but remember,
that we loved.

Love & Pain

Love & Pain

Pain comes hand in hand
with you,
with love.
Tears have run dry.
They will never fall.
Burnt-black eyes stare.
I am motionless,
you are gone.
Chop my heart into pieces
please feed me to your greed.
I am not broken,
you have not ripped me apart,
and I don’t need you to find me.
I was never, never,
lost.

Born Under a Wandering Star

Born Under a Wandering Star

Restless.
I am never still,
my mind continues racing
even while my body is at rest.
I am constantly in motion,
running, laughing, acting, smiling.
I can’t be still,
I cannot slow down.
My passions keep me moving
constantly, constantly.
I am a butterfly
flitting from flower to flower.
How could you clip my wings?

Monday, June 25, 2007

Love Me or Hate Me, It’s Still An Obsession

Love Me or Hate Me, It’s Still An Obsession

Look past my bitten-up fingernails,
my well-painted façade
I put on, brand-new, shiny,
each and every morning.
Can you see my soul inside?
Sometimes it’s just a glimmer,
one little shining star
in the midst of ink-black, velvety night.
So please believe me,
when I say “I live to let you shine”
quoting blasé song lyrics
because I’m afraid to tell you how I really feel.
We’re two different people now,
I fear you won’t recognize me,
my dark, angst-ridden eyes
my lips parted, ready
to tell you anything you want to hear.
No, that’s how I was.
Once.

A Student in Japan

A Student in Japan

Oh, to be a student in Japan
in Spring when the cherry blossoms fall.
To skip down walkways strewn with the flowers,
hair blowing in the Jasmine-scented wind.
To twirl my parasol like the white-faced geisha,
tottering around on their training heels,
the men following them in droves.
A true geisha can stop a man with one look,
but could I, if I were a plaid-skirted student,
in Japan in the springtime?

“And now our bodies are the guilty ones…”

“And now our bodies are the guilty ones…”

My love, our hands are sinners,
we commit lust with our guilty lips
each time we press them together.
Our touch fills the dark and silence,
our hearts too large for us to contain.
You are my sin, my condemnation,
the guilt I love so well.

Butterfly Away

Butterfly Away

Oh to be a butterfly,
spread my wings and learn to soar
if only for a few minutes,
even an hour.
I’m locked up in the remainders of your love,
please, set me free.

Blue Wind

Blue Wind

You’re no solitary blue wind
I swear I’m here with you,
so why are you going through withdrawal?
Your hands shake
I wrap myself in them for warmth,
your cheek against mine
will remind me I’m still alive.
Don’t you see?
It’s not too late.

Destruct

Destruct

Your face is pale in the fluorescent light,
my words are a gun to your heart
my well-intentioned mind has pulled the trigger.
I’m so sorry your life hasn’t turned out quite right,
but you can’t just scream at the moon
it doesn’t have any answers for you.
I’m shattered, I can’t give you any advice
so why even ask?
You’re living a role, my friend,
I can’t break you out
of this prison you’ve built for yourself.
Have you sold your soul to your inner demons
or can I somehow save you?

Breakdown City

Breakdown City

She’s living in a Breakdown City,
nothing but heartache
and stale lovers,
the air too fresh
like her wounds,
to combat her shaking sense
of self-worth.
Who are you and why can’t you save me?

Break It Down

Break It Down

I knew you once
so intimately it seemed
you were a part of my soul,
like you were my heartbeat,
my footsteps,
and I was your breath,
slow and steady,
involuntary,
so necessary,
always the same
day in and day out.
Well, who are we now?
Two separate sets of lungs
and hands and lips,
two very different hearts
that no longer beat in sync.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Don’t Break Me

Don’t Break Me

I need you like a needle needs a vein.
Can’t you hear my blood sing for you?
You’re every note and each new register
that my voice strives to reach,
every fervent waking acid-trip dream
and every single sunrise.
You’re in the sound of goodbye
and hello,
but mostly in the sounds of ‘I love you’s.
You’re my lighthouse beacon
shining in the night,
clearing away the cobwebs of self-doubt.
Can’t you hear the pain laced into my voice
when every word is screaming,
screaming, screaming for you.
My heart is solidly in your hands,
beating to the tune of your sweet nothings.
Don’t break it.
Don’t break me.

Heart & Soul

Heart & Soul

I hate being helpless,
but I love how you make me feel.
I guess I’m just full of contradictions.
And I know love is a losing game,
you’re trying your valiant best
to keep me from tripping,
slipping,
falling head over heels
in love with you
but it is all in vain.
I am already yours completely,
heart & soul.