Beyond Repair

Beyond Repair

I know there's something beautiful inside me,
Nestled in between all my imperfections.
My exterior is broken,
Like an angel stripped of its wings
And left to scramble across the ground.
If beauty is pain I must be gorgeous,
More gorgeous than any wearing halos above me.
So in case you were wondering,
I’m fucked up beyond repair
So just avert your eyes and keep on walking.

Watch Me Go

Watch Me Go

Eat your heart out, pretty boy.
I don’t fucking need you anymore.
So I guess you can chalk this up
To a sudden adrenaline rush,
An onslaught of courage
I don’t where it came from.
Let me go,
I’m not meant to be chained,
I’m meant to roam free.
You’re holding me back
I’m ready to explode,
So just pull my trigger
And watch me go,
Watch me go.

Anymore.

Anymore.

You’re not worth
An ounce of my teardrops,
A quart of my blood.
I will not bleed for you,
Let my heart beat for you
Anymore.
I gave up everything
But it was never enough.
You’d rather have this gun to my head
Than to hold my hand,
Where’s the sense in love?
Would you avenge my mrder?
Do you even care that you
Have crushed my very soul?
Why was it not good enough…
No. I will not breathe for you
Anymore.

Insignificance

Insignificance

I am not important.
My life is so insignificant
Compared to all the others on this Earth.
I’m just a speck as viewed from space,
An ant in God’s view from up on his throne.
The sun burns my eyes
I close them tight.
But when I open them again
I’m still so alone,
So why wake up at all?

Shattered, Cracked, Broken.

Shattered, Cracked, Broken.

It hurts that no one cares.
It burns you inside out,
A million matches striking at once
Deep within your lungs and stomach and heart.
I hide behind this mask
Because everything inside me feels so wrong,
And if I let one bit of me slip out
Everyone stares and casts me away.
Am I so wrong to want
To be loved for exactly who I am?
Being alone is like a dagger in me,
Every day without you,
I am shattered,
Cracked,
Broken.

Regret-Me-Not

Regret-Me-Not

If you want it to be true,
You’ve got to work at it constantly.
You need to bleed a little for me,
I’m begging you, please.
I can’t do this all on my own
But you’re forcing me to.
At the end of the day,
I want you to be able to look back on me fondly,
No regrets.
But everyday I regret a little more,
The fact that I ever met you.

You’re No Good At Lying

You’re No Good At Lying

I need you like water in my lungs,
Like a bullet through my heart.
Well, you’re no good at lying
And I’m no good at comebacks,
So let’s stop all this pretension
And finally come clean.
Maybe for once in your life,
You can look me in the eye
Without flinching or staring off into the distance.
Are we actually having a decent conversation?
Well this is a first,
Let’s mark it up to some trick of fate.

She Spins Worlds.

She Spins Worlds.

She spins worlds.
She holds the clay of life
Firmly in her hands,
Shaping moons and rivers.
She dots the land with trees
Sprouting from her fingertips.
With a wave of her hand,
She extinguishes the stars.
She can outshine the very sun.
But she will not live
To see tomorrow.

All Things Uncomely and Broken

All Things Uncomely and Broken

i am the patron saint
of all things uncomely and broken.
the slit wrists and sewn-shut lips,
the broken porcelain dolls
you so ruthlessly abandon.
the girl starving for perfection,
the boy dying to fit in,
the ones who don't know who they are
or what gender they're subscribing to today.
the angels with broken wings
the nightmares you try to hide away from the world.
these are the ones i draw close to my chest,
the ones i enfold inside my arms
and listen to their heartbeats in the silence,
so they know that someone cares.

Fly Away

Fly Away

i just want to fly away from here.
i want somewhere i can be free.
give me wings so i can leave
this materialistic prison far behind me.
i am all things uncomely and broken,
i could never be enough,
i could never fit into this mold.
we've all been pushed too far today
so why don't you push me over the edge?
i'll flap these wings and learn to fly.

Endings

Endings

“Girls like you are a dime a dozen,”
He screamed it right into my face.
“You think you can’t be replaced?”
I know you’ll never find a girl like me
Even if you searched the earth, the air, the sea,
You’d never find a love like the one I’ve given you.
“You’re wrong, you’re so wrong.”
Well, we’ll see.
Tonight I’m making a bet with you
That you couldn’t win me back if you wanted to,
And that you’ll never find someone who can compare
With the memory of my scent, my hair.
You’ll never forget those warm summer nights
Of our lips colliding under the city’s bright lights,
Hearts pumping and pulses racing
With the entire world there for our taking.
“I never loved you, it was all pretend,
I didn’t mean it when I said ‘to the end’.
Those songs I wrote didn’t mean a thing
It was never for you that I sing.”
And the lies just keep rolling on
Let’s see how you feel when I’m gone.

I'm still alive

I’m still alive.

I can look at the heart monitor
To see that I'm still alive,
Yes my heart's still beating
And my pulse still races.
So even though you left me all alone,
I'm still breathing.
God knows why.

Love Story

Love Story

Oh, the beauty of a sweet story of love and loss,
Of finding yourself and dying inside,
Of finding that one everlasting love
That consumes and burns with raw passion,
Only to have it ripped away from you
By a sadistic twist of fate.
Oh, the sweet melancholy mourning
Of those who have known everything of love,
And been left behind with nothing but memories.
And the glory of the love song,
Is never enough to outweigh
The heavy stone sadness that pulls hearts down
And turns love to dust.
It’s just the elation of feeling love
Only to have it slip so easily from your hands,
Leaving you crying out her name
And weeping in the rain-soaked streets.
It’s winning your love back
only to have it snatched away again,
To watch your lover take their last breath
And wish it had been you instead.

Hey Cinderella

Hey Cinderella

Hey Cinderella,
Won’t you give me the time of day?
I know I’m just a pauper
Worshipping at your glass-slippered feet,
But could you spare me a moment?
You see, I’ve been waiting for my Prince Charming,
But it seems he’s lost somewhere in the universe
And he can’t find his way to me.
I’m still hoping he’ll show up one day
But believe me, my hope is running thin.
I can’t cross my fingers and wish on stars forever.
So tell me, Cinderella,
How’d you find your prince?
Did he fall from the sky to your arms?
I don’t know how to find one to sweep me off my feet.
With every struggling heartbeat I pray,
God send me true love,
A love to lift me up,
Completely consume and devour me.
Send me my prince.

Maybe love doesn’t conquer all

Maybe love doesn’t conquer all

When love is for sale to the highest bidder,
There can be no trust.
When you name-drop “I love you”s
As easily as you say hello,
Can I be sure you’re for real?
I don’t even know if I am for real.
Maybe love doesn’t conquer all.

Book

Book

My life is like a book,
And I’m ripping out every page
That mentions your name.
You know it’ll take me weeks
To shred all these chapters
That focus solely on you and me.
In the end it will be worth it,
To see your face
When I dump the pages at your feet
And set them on fire.
Even if my life will be left bare,
With empty pages and gaping holes in my story,
It’ll be worth it because I can’t go on
Turning pages and saying “I love you”.

Bad Habit

Bad Habit

I’ve got too many bad habits to name,
And I think you’re one I’ve gotta break.
Cuz I can’t feel anything from anyone but you.
I could sit for days and think of you,
Feed off your voice and somehow live.
You’re my worst addiction
And I’m in desperate need of rehab,
I need to be cured of you.
You’re deep within my veins,
Every heartbeat,
Every flicker of a smile.
It’s all about you.

Automatic

Automatic

She's automatic
with her candy eyes and cigarette smile.
She signs her heart away
with the tip of her fingers.
She's a sucker for anything acoustic,
she's a sucker for any sappy love story.
She breathes complex symphonies
and the crowds stare in wonder.
With her cherry lips and starry eyes
she makes grown men gasp.
But her magic's in her makeup,
and when she washes her face at night
all that beauty fades,
and she's left with nothing.
She's shaking like a revolution,
she's shaking like a leaf,
and here she lays her down to sleep.

Anything But Me

my lips are cracked and bleeding;
my head is so heavy in my hands,
a back that aches, a heart that breaks,
and no one who understands.

i know it's just the season and i know that it's just me
but i can't help wondering, if you weren't so afraid,
what would you leave, and who would you be?
who would you leave, and what would you be?

I'd be anything but me.

Dear you, Sincerely me.

Dear you, Sincerely me.

Dear you,
I think I’m falling.
I’ve been spinning in circles
Ever since you kissed my cheek.
I just can’t stop my descent
So I’ve accepted that I’m under your spell.
You’ve capture my heart so effortlessly,
Put it under lock and key.
And you don’t even know how easily you captivate me,
How I can’t escape you and don’t want to.
It’s so hard for me to tell you how I feel,
To open up my heart and trust you
When I’ve been hurt so many times before.
So here I am writing you this letter,
Sincerely me.

Mirror Mirror

Mirror Mirror

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Who’s the fairest one of all?
Mirror, mirror on the ground,
I was lost now I’ve been found.
Can you, can you, can you hear me crying?
Can’t you, can’t you, can’t you see I’m trying?
I’m not perfect and I know I’ll never be
Why is it so hard for all the rest of them to see?

After Love.

After Love.

I look up, starry-eyed.
Your eyelids flutter in your sleep
I lay watching the moon,
Quiet and subdued next to you
With the memory of your voice resounding in my ears.
The room is heavy with spent passion,
The scent of wasted lust surrounds me
A soft blanket of love.
Is it wrong that I could watch you sleep forever?
Because I so easily could,
Entrapped in your arms,
Breathing in and out together.

Heat.

Heat.

I’m just the lingering scent of perfume in your bed,
The memory of wide eyes rolling back,
A ghost of fingers gripping tight to shoulders,
The friction of hips and sheets and lips,
The taste of passion.
I was the feel of soft curves under your hands
On that last night we were together,
The soft touch of legs grazing.
I kissed you hard cuz I knew it was the last time I would,
Summer ends too fast and we come rushing back to reality and brutal honesty:
“It was just a one-time thing”.
I guess love wasn’t a factor in your head
And lust left our brains foggy in the darkness,
As we scrambled for purchase in the tangle of your sheets.
I listened to your heartbeat as my eyes fought sleep and lost
But in the morning you were gone.

Masquerade

Masquerade

Oh isn’t she beautiful?
No flaws in her perfect mask.
Everybody looks great behind a paper face.
No one’s ugly in a masquerade,
No one has any faults.
Those out of place, out of dress,
We ignore,
Where are their masks anyway?
You’re never fully dressed
Without a proper façade.
It’s just so much easier to fake it.
Who needs reality,
Connections,
Fellowship,
Love?
We’ve got fragile beauty
And sequined eyes.
It’s oh so much better.

When it rains

When it rains

I’m only happy when it rains
Cuz I love being complicated.
Misery is my constant companion
And we just love when things go wrong.
So I talk in my sleep where no one can hear me,
And I smile in the dark where no one can see.
I’d rather be lonely,
Lonely is so poetic.

Be My Heroin

Be My Heroin

I’m lying to everyone but me,
Singing a chorus of “I’m fine”
To the tune of “I’ve never felt more alone”.
I just want something of real substance,
Something that will make me feel alive.
I want someone to be addicted to,
Someone to be my brand of heroin.
I’d gladly die of an overdose of your love,
It’d be so much better than dying alone.
So go on and give it to me,
Make me your junkie.
Please be my heroin.

Expression

Expression

A 2 cent postage stamp
Just isn’t enough for me
To send my heart to you.
I’d never have enough postage.
(It’s way too heavy.)
And it wouldn’t do me any good
To pour it all out into a song,
Cuz you’d never hear the love
Tangled up in between the clumsy lines.
You don’t like my music anyways.
(My voice would crack and break.)
I could paint it out on canvas
Bright colors and shapes,
And show you my love in abstract.
No, you don’t understand the point in art.
(Paint’s too expensive.)
I don’t know if words alone
Would be good enough for you,
But here I am trying in vain
To say “I love you”
And tripping all over myself again.
(I’m so clumsy with love.)

Our Last Night

Our Last Night

Kiss me hard
Cuz it’s the last time I will let you.
Yeah, hold me close
Cuz tomorrow I’ll be just a ghostly vision,
A figment in the corner of your mind.
When you reach for me
I’ll be as flighty as a fairy,
Dancing here and there just in front of your fingertips.
You’ll never have me again
So take me tonight,
Cuz tonight I’m yours.
Morning will come to take me away,
Leaving you with nothing
But a lingering scent of perfume in your bed,
The memory of a wide-eyed flutter,
The ghost of fingers trailing down your cheek.
So huddle close to me tonight
I’ll keep you warm.
Love me one last time
And then let me go.

Beautiful Like You

Beautiful Like You

If I was beautiful like you
I could get away with murder.
I’d have boys falling at my feet
And the masses would scream my name.
I’d have everyone on a string,
All my oh so famous friends
Would throw parties in my honor on the weekends.
They’d all swoon and cry out praises,
And I’d never even have to try
Cuz if I hurt one there’d be another waiting in line.
If I was beautiful like you
I could move mountains.
I’d have every emo rocker boy
Crooning love songs in my ear with his guitar.
But I’m not beautiful like you,
I can’t walk in between the raindrops
And even though I’m such a sucker for a love song,
I’m only beautiful like me.
And that will never be enough.

Gutter Angel

Gutter Angel

I’m your angel in the gutter,
Lying with broken wings
And cracked halo.
I bite my lip and taste blood,
It reminds me that I’m still breathing.
With every flutter my heart is beating slower
But I’m struggling to keep going.
I entreat you with my plastic eyes,
But you just walk on by.
Avert your eyes and ignore this trashy angel,
This harlequin, heroin Snow White
Breathing her last in the dirt.