Your Scent
I buried my face in your chest,
your warm, welcoming scent filling my nostrils to the brim.
This is as close to Heaven as I will ever get,
my brain is taking Polaroids
so I will remember this exact moment when you have gone.
Your arms held me like they’d never let me go,
like you had no indecisions.
So why did you let go?
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Stuck
Stuck
Halfway between sleep & consciousness,
suddenly my dream vessel stops in its tracks.
I fear I’m stuck,
like that time we got stuck on Splash Mountain
and we decided to take pictures to pass the time.
Except, I’ve got nothing to pass my time here.
I’m just stuck.
Stuck between my feelings for you
and knowing I have to move on with my life,
since you obviously don’t want me in yours.
Halfway between sleep & consciousness,
I have run off the tracks
and there is nowhere else to go.
I’m out of time,
out of hope,
and out of dumb luck.
And until further notice,
I am definitely stuck.
Halfway between sleep & consciousness,
suddenly my dream vessel stops in its tracks.
I fear I’m stuck,
like that time we got stuck on Splash Mountain
and we decided to take pictures to pass the time.
Except, I’ve got nothing to pass my time here.
I’m just stuck.
Stuck between my feelings for you
and knowing I have to move on with my life,
since you obviously don’t want me in yours.
Halfway between sleep & consciousness,
I have run off the tracks
and there is nowhere else to go.
I’m out of time,
out of hope,
and out of dumb luck.
And until further notice,
I am definitely stuck.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Youth
Youth
All the cover-up in the world couldn’t hide the bruises.
Such a pretty face lost to the shadows,
only fifteen and longing to be older
because that’s what we all want.
Well this is the end isn’t it,
turn the page and watch her fade
til there’s nothing left but tear-stained eyes.
Curled on the ground with her teeth biting her knees,
the words come swiftly
but they don’t come easy.
One penny for your thoughts,
two for a peek down your shirt,
three for a hand groping at a slice of tender girl-flesh.
They didn’t believe her when she told them,
now her mascara’s running,
her mouth stained red
and her eyes blurry from crying.
Lying in her bed, hand seeking her flesh,
he will devour her whole,
and no one will hear her pleas.
All the cover-up in the world couldn’t hide the bruises.
Such a pretty face lost to the shadows,
only fifteen and longing to be older
because that’s what we all want.
Well this is the end isn’t it,
turn the page and watch her fade
til there’s nothing left but tear-stained eyes.
Curled on the ground with her teeth biting her knees,
the words come swiftly
but they don’t come easy.
One penny for your thoughts,
two for a peek down your shirt,
three for a hand groping at a slice of tender girl-flesh.
They didn’t believe her when she told them,
now her mascara’s running,
her mouth stained red
and her eyes blurry from crying.
Lying in her bed, hand seeking her flesh,
he will devour her whole,
and no one will hear her pleas.
Human Sacrifice
Human Sacrifice
Feed the Gods.
Remove my heart
while it still beats,
I cannot stop you.
My arms are tied too tight.
Death will be a welcome release
from this constant pain of life.
So please, claw my eyes out,
sew my lips shut,
shave my head
and stitch me up,
I’m ready now,
I’m ready.
Feed the Gods.
Remove my heart
while it still beats,
I cannot stop you.
My arms are tied too tight.
Death will be a welcome release
from this constant pain of life.
So please, claw my eyes out,
sew my lips shut,
shave my head
and stitch me up,
I’m ready now,
I’m ready.
Peyote
Peyote
Like a bird with a broken wing,
I’m on the point of extinction
because of you.
I’m trying not to care,
my skin is peeling off
I’m shedding my feelings,
slithering like a serpent
through the labyrinth of my heart.
I am not enlightened,
my heart is glass shattered on the ground,
my eyes burn
and my lips sting.
Banish me.
I would rather live alone
than face a world
where you cannot be mine,
where you will not be mine.
Like a bird with a broken wing,
I’m on the point of extinction
because of you.
I’m trying not to care,
my skin is peeling off
I’m shedding my feelings,
slithering like a serpent
through the labyrinth of my heart.
I am not enlightened,
my heart is glass shattered on the ground,
my eyes burn
and my lips sting.
Banish me.
I would rather live alone
than face a world
where you cannot be mine,
where you will not be mine.
Raw Reality
Raw Reality
My skin’s been flayed from the bone,
I’m lying in a pool of my own blood.
Rub salt into my wounds,
I’m so numb I cannot feel it.
Drain me dry,
not a drop left.
Feast on my aura
and leave me to rot.
Let me consume myself,
this continuity
of life and death,
of death and life.
My skin’s been flayed from the bone,
I’m lying in a pool of my own blood.
Rub salt into my wounds,
I’m so numb I cannot feel it.
Drain me dry,
not a drop left.
Feast on my aura
and leave me to rot.
Let me consume myself,
this continuity
of life and death,
of death and life.
Your Plaything
Your Plaything
I am not your plaything,
no, I am not your toy.
You cannot keep me spinning on your string,
just to entertain you
when you get bored with her.
I will not be conquered
and you will not be revered.
I will not lie back
and allow you to break me
anymore.
I am not your plaything,
no, I am not your toy.
You cannot keep me spinning on your string,
just to entertain you
when you get bored with her.
I will not be conquered
and you will not be revered.
I will not lie back
and allow you to break me
anymore.
She Cries
She Cries
Abandoned,
lost,
wounded,
broken.
Her eyes sting with acid tears
and her cheeks are stained blood-red.
With her head in her hands,
she cries.
With her heart in her hands,
she cries.
Broken,
wounded,
lost,
abandoned,
she cries.
Abandoned,
lost,
wounded,
broken.
Her eyes sting with acid tears
and her cheeks are stained blood-red.
With her head in her hands,
she cries.
With her heart in her hands,
she cries.
Broken,
wounded,
lost,
abandoned,
she cries.
Love, Unrequited
Love, Unrequited
Broken glass beneath my feet,
I’m walking on a tightrope
with nothing but air below.
The rope snaps and I tumble down,
nothing to stop me,
nobody moves a muscle
to come to my rescue.
I watch the ground get larger
right in front of my widened eyes.
I open my mouth but there is no sound.
Well, here we go
Broken glass beneath my feet,
I’m walking on a tightrope
with nothing but air below.
The rope snaps and I tumble down,
nothing to stop me,
nobody moves a muscle
to come to my rescue.
I watch the ground get larger
right in front of my widened eyes.
I open my mouth but there is no sound.
Well, here we go
Wounded
Wounded
I am not whole.
Well, I never was to begin with,
but my dear you have shattered me
so far that it is beyond recognition.
I feel like an empty shell,
going about my business
but not really caring,
keeping my head up
when I feel like just breaking down.
I knew it couldn’t be true,
I should have seen it coming.
You were never mine to hold,
no, you were never mine to keep
I am not whole.
Well, I never was to begin with,
but my dear you have shattered me
so far that it is beyond recognition.
I feel like an empty shell,
going about my business
but not really caring,
keeping my head up
when I feel like just breaking down.
I knew it couldn’t be true,
I should have seen it coming.
You were never mine to hold,
no, you were never mine to keep
Bound
Bound
Bind me to your side.
These chains are not too heavy
that I cannot spread my wings,
that I cannot continue my song for you.
I recognize the death in your eyes,
it is coming closer, closer,
and you cannot understand.
Take my hand, it is not so hard,
not so difficult to join hearts
and hands and lips and lives.
Bind me to you.
We are one in spirit.
Bind me to your side.
These chains are not too heavy
that I cannot spread my wings,
that I cannot continue my song for you.
I recognize the death in your eyes,
it is coming closer, closer,
and you cannot understand.
Take my hand, it is not so hard,
not so difficult to join hearts
and hands and lips and lives.
Bind me to you.
We are one in spirit.
Three Laments
Three Laments
1.
I am empty.
A broken cricket-husk,
blowing by in the wind.
I am nothing,
charcoal drawings on night sky,
disappearing,
disappearing.
2.
I cannot have you,
as much as I want to,
as much as I wish to,
as much as you’ve hurt me.
You’ve broken me,
but I still feel you.
Yes, I will always feel you.
3.
The rose withers,
clutched tight in my hand
I release it and it falls,
dead
to the ground.
1.
I am empty.
A broken cricket-husk,
blowing by in the wind.
I am nothing,
charcoal drawings on night sky,
disappearing,
disappearing.
2.
I cannot have you,
as much as I want to,
as much as I wish to,
as much as you’ve hurt me.
You’ve broken me,
but I still feel you.
Yes, I will always feel you.
3.
The rose withers,
clutched tight in my hand
I release it and it falls,
dead
to the ground.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
And I Ran
And I Ran
Outside, the trees are bending,
straining in the tremulous winds.
The breeze sends leaves scattering,
swirling into geometric patterns on the sidewalk,
blowing dead flowers about my feet.
I stop to pluck one from the ground
to place it behind my ear.
The others will call me foolish,
a hopeless romantic,
but this wilting cherry blossom
is the most gorgeous flower
I have ever seen.
I look to the sky,
there is a storm on the horizon
and I can feel it in the wind,
I can see it in the sky.
Paint my eyes over
so I cannot see,
you are blinding me.
“And I ran, I ran so far away”
and you followed.
Outside, the trees are bending,
straining in the tremulous winds.
The breeze sends leaves scattering,
swirling into geometric patterns on the sidewalk,
blowing dead flowers about my feet.
I stop to pluck one from the ground
to place it behind my ear.
The others will call me foolish,
a hopeless romantic,
but this wilting cherry blossom
is the most gorgeous flower
I have ever seen.
I look to the sky,
there is a storm on the horizon
and I can feel it in the wind,
I can see it in the sky.
Paint my eyes over
so I cannot see,
you are blinding me.
“And I ran, I ran so far away”
and you followed.
Chance
Chance
When you pulled me close,
your hands soft on my back,
my head on your shoulder
and your breath on my neck,
so close I could inhale your scent,
all I wanted to do
(more than anything in the world)
was to pull you even closer
and whisper “I love you”
in your ear,
and then press a kiss to your trembling lips,
just to see how you’d react.
When you pulled me close,
your hands soft on my back,
my head on your shoulder
and your breath on my neck,
so close I could inhale your scent,
all I wanted to do
(more than anything in the world)
was to pull you even closer
and whisper “I love you”
in your ear,
and then press a kiss to your trembling lips,
just to see how you’d react.
Jade Empress
Jade Empress
Slanted eyes and quiet smile.
Men fall at her feet with a single glance,
a simple flick of her sleeve
to show a sliver of wrist,
as she elegantly pours the tea.
The clack of her wooden shoes
on the slats of the narrow bridge,
she crosses over running water,
giggling from behind her parasol.
In her boudoir lie her secrets,
as she strips off her silk kimono,
peels away the layers
and wipes the rouge from her lips,
clearing the white from her brow,
nose, cheeks.
She’s perfection of an oriental age,
a vision of the past,
one foot in front of the other
one step at a time.
Slanted eyes and quiet smile.
Men fall at her feet with a single glance,
a simple flick of her sleeve
to show a sliver of wrist,
as she elegantly pours the tea.
The clack of her wooden shoes
on the slats of the narrow bridge,
she crosses over running water,
giggling from behind her parasol.
In her boudoir lie her secrets,
as she strips off her silk kimono,
peels away the layers
and wipes the rouge from her lips,
clearing the white from her brow,
nose, cheeks.
She’s perfection of an oriental age,
a vision of the past,
one foot in front of the other
one step at a time.
Serpentine
Serpentine
Wrap my lips up tight.
They’re bursting with lies,
poised to destroy you,
truths that would rip you in two.See the venom in my eyes?
I’m coiled up, ready to strike,
biding my time
hidden in the grass.
Can’t you hear me hissing?
I am rolling down this hill
and I am not afraid
to take you with me.
Wrap my lips up tight.
They’re bursting with lies,
poised to destroy you,
truths that would rip you in two.See the venom in my eyes?
I’m coiled up, ready to strike,
biding my time
hidden in the grass.
Can’t you hear me hissing?
I am rolling down this hill
and I am not afraid
to take you with me.
All It Would Take
All It Would Take
All it would take
is just one stitch of courage,
just one little kiss
pressed upon your lips
and maybe you’d turn to me and say
“I feel the same”,
or maybe you’d walk away from me
and never talk to me again.
But until I try, I’ll never know.
All it would take
is just one stitch of courage,
just one little kiss
pressed upon your lips
and maybe you’d turn to me and say
“I feel the same”,
or maybe you’d walk away from me
and never talk to me again.
But until I try, I’ll never know.
Stars Collide
Stars Collide
Stars collide
for a moment in time,
I can feel you like a whisper,
your name upon the breeze.
Why did you have to go
and where have you ended up?
The sky is dark
and the flowers have all wilted,
and I am so alone.
Stars collide
for a moment in time,
I can feel you like a whisper,
your name upon the breeze.
Why did you have to go
and where have you ended up?
The sky is dark
and the flowers have all wilted,
and I am so alone.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
City
City
Sunrise.
Day is dawning,
bringing early morning birdsongs
and bustling crowds on first thing coffee runs.
In the city, everything is shining,
there’s a Starbucks on every corner.
The people rush by Central Park,
too hurried to notice
the flowers all in bloom,
too hurried to notice
the leaves crumbling, falling from the trees,
blowing in bright colored swirls ‘round their feet.
City life is too busy,
rushed, jammed tight
as the businesswomen on the subway,
at 7 in the morning,
clutching their heels in one hand
and their briefcase in the other,
too hurried to notice
the snow falling down,
too hurried to notice,
the children skating around the rink in the park,
the tree standing silent,
all ready to be lit.
Too hurried to notice
that life is passing them by.
Sunrise.
Day is dawning,
bringing early morning birdsongs
and bustling crowds on first thing coffee runs.
In the city, everything is shining,
there’s a Starbucks on every corner.
The people rush by Central Park,
too hurried to notice
the flowers all in bloom,
too hurried to notice
the leaves crumbling, falling from the trees,
blowing in bright colored swirls ‘round their feet.
City life is too busy,
rushed, jammed tight
as the businesswomen on the subway,
at 7 in the morning,
clutching their heels in one hand
and their briefcase in the other,
too hurried to notice
the snow falling down,
too hurried to notice,
the children skating around the rink in the park,
the tree standing silent,
all ready to be lit.
Too hurried to notice
that life is passing them by.
Monday Morning
Monday Morning
Monday morning is too early
for bright eyed pupils discussing civilization,
rushing to scribble down their notes.
It is too late to relive the weekend,
reminiscing long nights of dancing,
midnight conversations,
and maybe stealing kissing
in the waning moonlight.
It is too early to enjoy the day,
too late to remember the night.
We are too young,
struggling to be so much older,
so much older.
Monday morning is too early
for bright eyed pupils discussing civilization,
rushing to scribble down their notes.
It is too late to relive the weekend,
reminiscing long nights of dancing,
midnight conversations,
and maybe stealing kissing
in the waning moonlight.
It is too early to enjoy the day,
too late to remember the night.
We are too young,
struggling to be so much older,
so much older.
Words I Never Say
Words I Never Say
Here they are on the tips of my fingers,
every emotion I’ve suppressed.
Here they sit on the tip of my tongue,
every word I’ve been holding back.
My cheeks are bursting with the effort
of keeping everything I feel inside.
Why can’t I just face this like an adult,
put it all out there on display?
Am I really afraid it’ll all blow up in my face,
that you’ll turn and run away from me
and never return?
I hate not being totally honest with you.
I want nothing more than to grab you by the hand,
pull you close up against me and whisper
“I love you”, in your ear.
Here they are on the tips of my fingers,
every emotion I’ve suppressed.
Here they sit on the tip of my tongue,
every word I’ve been holding back.
My cheeks are bursting with the effort
of keeping everything I feel inside.
Why can’t I just face this like an adult,
put it all out there on display?
Am I really afraid it’ll all blow up in my face,
that you’ll turn and run away from me
and never return?
I hate not being totally honest with you.
I want nothing more than to grab you by the hand,
pull you close up against me and whisper
“I love you”, in your ear.
Sorry
Sorry
I’m sorry we have grown too old
to perch on your laps and hang on every word,
that we can no longer distract ourselves
with paper dolls and “green eggs & ham”.
I’m sorry we’ve lost ourselves
to a world of drugs and sex and rock & roll,
breaking the rules and ignoring our elders’ advice.
I’m sorry we’re too scared
to speak up for what we believe in,
that our eyes and ears and lips are closed,
to all the pleas of the world.
I’m sorry we have grown too old
to perch on your laps and hang on every word,
that we can no longer distract ourselves
with paper dolls and “green eggs & ham”.
I’m sorry we’ve lost ourselves
to a world of drugs and sex and rock & roll,
breaking the rules and ignoring our elders’ advice.
I’m sorry we’re too scared
to speak up for what we believe in,
that our eyes and ears and lips are closed,
to all the pleas of the world.
Night
Night
I lift my eyes to the Heavens,
all starlight dancing in my pupils
and moonbeams soft upon my cheek.
The night is young, dear heart,
shall we tear it apart?
I lift my eyes to the Heavens,
all starlight dancing in my pupils
and moonbeams soft upon my cheek.
The night is young, dear heart,
shall we tear it apart?
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
I’d Rather Be A Bitch Than An Ordinary Broken Heart
I’d Rather Be A Bitch Than An Ordinary Broken Heart
broken. broken. broken.
LOST.
enter melancholy music.
enter psychotic heroine.
broken. broken. broken.
exit heart.
exit soul.
LOST. LOST. LOST.
Shield your eyes
the sun is too bright.
broken. broken. broken.
rearrange, rearrange,
danger! danger!
Do not pass GO,
do not collect two hundred dollars.
Proceed directly
to
Jail.
broken. broken. broken.
LOST.
enter melancholy music.
enter psychotic heroine.
broken. broken. broken.
exit heart.
exit soul.
LOST. LOST. LOST.
Shield your eyes
the sun is too bright.
broken. broken. broken.
rearrange, rearrange,
danger! danger!
Do not pass GO,
do not collect two hundred dollars.
Proceed directly
to
Jail.
Sanskrit
Sanskrit
I threw away all your clothes,
trashed your letters and flowers,
silly love notes and such.
I gave away that bear you won me
I couldn’t stand looking at it’s face,
it guilt-tripped me.
I can’t believe your nerve, I can’t even think about it.
So I’ll write Sanskrit on my body
with your old calligraphy pen,
and I’ll never record it anywhere else
so it’ll all wash away in the water
and my genius will be lost to the world.
It’s all your fault.
I threw away all your clothes,
trashed your letters and flowers,
silly love notes and such.
I gave away that bear you won me
I couldn’t stand looking at it’s face,
it guilt-tripped me.
I can’t believe your nerve, I can’t even think about it.
So I’ll write Sanskrit on my body
with your old calligraphy pen,
and I’ll never record it anywhere else
so it’ll all wash away in the water
and my genius will be lost to the world.
It’s all your fault.
Go Kill Your Cousin, It’s Your Duty
Go Kill Your Cousin, It’s Your Duty
Karma.
Your caste demands you take action.
The time is short,
the day is long.
Take up your spear and do your duty,
feelings no longer matter.
Krishna bids you,
come, come,
I will bring you to salvation
but you must go bravely.
In, in, in to battle,
here we will kill,
here we will die.
Oh Arjuna, can you not see?
It is the only way.
Karma.
Your caste demands you take action.
The time is short,
the day is long.
Take up your spear and do your duty,
feelings no longer matter.
Krishna bids you,
come, come,
I will bring you to salvation
but you must go bravely.
In, in, in to battle,
here we will kill,
here we will die.
Oh Arjuna, can you not see?
It is the only way.
I could
I could
I could ruin you.
I could ruin you so good,
rip you in half,
turn you inside out.
I could make you feel so real.
I could make you so alive,
breathe into you,
shock your heart back to its rhythmic beating.
I could be the one to show you
all you’ve ever dreamed about,
I could be your
only
one.
I could ruin you.
I could ruin you so good,
rip you in half,
turn you inside out.
I could make you feel so real.
I could make you so alive,
breathe into you,
shock your heart back to its rhythmic beating.
I could be the one to show you
all you’ve ever dreamed about,
I could be your
only
one.
The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
You quoted Star Wars
and I just laughed,
making up galaxies and Jedi names,
brandishing my lightsaber in the toy aisle at Walmart.
I guess I pushed you away that night though,
cuddling in my bed without you,
until he left and you held me tight
until I fell asleep, safe in your arms
and you watched me breathe.
Two days have gone by since I last saw your face,
my phone stays silent
and my heart stays empty and broken.
I miss you, I miss you,
come back to me.
You quoted Star Wars
and I just laughed,
making up galaxies and Jedi names,
brandishing my lightsaber in the toy aisle at Walmart.
I guess I pushed you away that night though,
cuddling in my bed without you,
until he left and you held me tight
until I fell asleep, safe in your arms
and you watched me breathe.
Two days have gone by since I last saw your face,
my phone stays silent
and my heart stays empty and broken.
I miss you, I miss you,
come back to me.
Remembrance
Remembrance
Once you lay beside me.
I traced your ears, lips, nose
softly, with the tip of my finger,
listening to you breathe.
Now you lay miles from me,
breathing slowly on your own
and not remembering me
and the things we once shared.
I wrap myself in bittersweet memories,
blankets of your scent
that keep me waking at night,
tracing shapes in the darkness,
and wishing you were here.
Once you lay beside me.
I traced your ears, lips, nose
softly, with the tip of my finger,
listening to you breathe.
Now you lay miles from me,
breathing slowly on your own
and not remembering me
and the things we once shared.
I wrap myself in bittersweet memories,
blankets of your scent
that keep me waking at night,
tracing shapes in the darkness,
and wishing you were here.
Goddess
Goddess
Lightning strikes,
splitting the black velvet sky in two.
I watch as she twirls in circles,
spinning raindrops through the air.
Her hair is pure gold in the moonlight,
her skin a milky silver,
moving, changing, flowing,
as she does, through the field.
I am captivated,
she is a goddess of the night
and I am not worthy
to worship at her feet.
Lightning strikes,
splitting the black velvet sky in two.
I watch as she twirls in circles,
spinning raindrops through the air.
Her hair is pure gold in the moonlight,
her skin a milky silver,
moving, changing, flowing,
as she does, through the field.
I am captivated,
she is a goddess of the night
and I am not worthy
to worship at her feet.
Hold
Hold
I held you for a few moments,
just a speck of a second
in the masterpiece of life.
But oh, it was beautiful,
the two of us together,
arms and legs and beating hearts
and the thoughts of love
I cannot say to you.
I held you for a few moments,
just a speck of a second
in the masterpiece of life.
But oh, it was beautiful,
the two of us together,
arms and legs and beating hearts
and the thoughts of love
I cannot say to you.
Til Tonight
Til Tonight
You are transient as the wind,
whistling through my fingers so softly.
I capture you for only a few minutes,
holding you,
so safe I am in your arms,
feeling so beautiful.
But just as fast as you appear,
you are suddenly one,
leaving my arms empty
and my heart longing.
Til tonight, dear heart,
til tonight.
You are transient as the wind,
whistling through my fingers so softly.
I capture you for only a few minutes,
holding you,
so safe I am in your arms,
feeling so beautiful.
But just as fast as you appear,
you are suddenly one,
leaving my arms empty
and my heart longing.
Til tonight, dear heart,
til tonight.
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