Ravishing

Ravishing

Pick the flesh from the carcass,
Clean the bones til they’re dry.
You’re a vulture, always feeding,
Waiting for your prey to die.
Your eyes bore holes in mine,
Like you think you own me too.
You’re sizing up my body,
But I won’t be the next snack for you.
You suck them in so easily,
It’s all a game you play.
With your compliments and charm,
They never try to get away.
They don’t see it til it’s too late,
As they lay dying at your feet.
You don’t think of us as people,
You just think of us as meat.
You use us til you’re tired of it,
Then dump us like dead weight.
And no one ever sees it coming,
Well, not until its way too late.
So don’t even think about it,
Cuz I know all your ways.
I will not be the next one down,
I will not be played.

Trapped

Trapped

Like an antique vase you’ve been locked away,
Sitting silently on some shelf
Collecting dust.
You peer out the window panes
At a world you’ll never know.
Poor china doll, too fragile to play.
Forehead pressed to glass,
You leave smudges when you breathe
Til your mother calls your name,
And you abandon your hiding place.
Lightning strikes outside
And you long to be beside it,
Running through the rain,
Face upturned to the sky.
Instead you take your place at table,
Hands folded,
Head bowed
As your mother teaches lessons
And your mind drifts away.
You learn the outside words,
Words for things you’ve never seen,
Things you’ve never touched.
Flower, tree, grass, rain, sun,
But you have never known one of these.
At night you read your books
And dream of faraway places,
Of freedom and sunshine and the sea.
In your dreams you’re a princess,
A butterfly, an astronaut.
Or just beneath a tree,
Outside where you long to be.

Reality

Reality?

Can you quell the rising fears within me?
I’m too afraid of being alone,
When the darkness isn’t comforting
But suffocating.
When my poetry won’t flow
And my thoughts are stymied,
When jeering faces dance within my mind
Knowing I’ll never get it right.

Can you reach me?
It feels like I’m so far under water
Breathing through a microscope,
Watching the bubbles blow in and out of my lungs.
I yell for you but get only waves,
My legs tire and I drift down
Towards a watery grave.

Can you save me?
I’m waiting for someone to find me
Wipe the pain away,
To ease my troubled mind.
Are you the one
Or am I just dreaming again?
Make me certain that you need me,
Make me feel real.

Funeral

Funeral

You sit staring out the window,
Eyes vacant
As the deep dark waters you used to cut through
With smooth clean strokes,
Back when times were simple;
When your mind was living
And your heart was full.
Now your hands grasp for nothing
And your mouth makes unintelligible sounds.

Tomorrow you will close your eyes
And never open them again.
You won’t be aware of that, of course.
Instead, you’ll blow sloppy kisses at us,
Giggle at the caring faces,
Drawn tight by grief,
That surround you,
Before you breathe your last.
We will dress you in your best clothes:
A favorite dress,
Delicate shoes you haven’t worn for years.
We’ll fold your hands across your chest
Lay you softly down in silky plush
And whisper goodbye in your unhearing ear.
I’ll lay one rose above your head,
A single burning red rose
For the memories of you,
When you were whole.

But today you are broken,
An empty shell devoid of knowing
But full of laughter.
Today you are not yourself,
Throwing your fists in the air
And knocking things from the table.
Today, there is some other blank lifeless being before me,
Who claps your hands together,
Closes your eyes.
And sleeps.

Hanging

Hanging

As you hang here
Eyes wide and staring,
Arms still reaching,
Reaching.
Legs swinging,
Creaking, cracking,
Noises lost in the howling of wind.
A knife drawn from warm coat pockets,
Flash of silver in the air
And down you fall.
Angry red bruises
Encircle your fair white neck,
Eyes still staring into nothing
But lips closed and silent forever.

Don't Look Back

Don’t Look Back

Shield your eyes from the fires of Hell,
Those gates stand open before you
Ready to plunge you, down,
Down into the fiery depths
To drown forever.
But keep your head turned,
Don’t waver
Don’t look back.
Keep your feet firmly planted
In the wheel tracks of the road,
Your head held high
And your arms outstretched.
Your faith has gone
And the Devil stalks your shadow.
See the haunted face in the mirror?
Don’t look back.

Writer's Block

Writer’s Block

Feels like my wells of inspiration have run dry.
I haven’t penned a poem
In what seems like ages.
Nothing seems right anymore,
Nothing inspires,
Nothing flows,
Nothing rocks me to the core.
My head’s all full of shoo-bop-bops and literary terms,
With no room left for words,
Sweet words.
There’s too much hustle,
Too much hassle.
I sit in a bare college classroom and discuss poetry,
But inside, I think I’ve lost it.
I think there’s an edge I’ve been standing on,
Been teetering on for so long,
And I’m one step closer now
And close to going over.
If the words won’t flow,
Like rivers, from my fingers
To flood the paper with my thoughts,
What can I do?

In My Room

In My Room

Alone in my room,
Fan blades spinning,
Pictures grinning
At me from my walls.
Amid collections
Of penguins and ponies,
Scattered works of literature,
Sticker-covered binders,
Purses on closet doors
And necklaces hanging in neat rows.
This is where I feel at home.
Shift the clutter on my desk,
I move aside plaques and pictures,
Statues and newspaper clippings,
Revealing pink plywood:
AKA my desk top.
There’s a magazine rack full of books,
Piles of fuzzy slippers,
A wooden carousel horse,
And the floor needs vacuuming again,
But –
Amid the scarves and sculptures,
The artwork and the archives,
Novels and novelties,
Lying still in my crowded bed
Under soft covers,
I am truly me.

I'm a Special Child

I’m a Special Child (Sung to the tune of Yankee Doodle)

I’m a special special child,
I have special special needs.
I have to take medica-ay-ation
So I don’t run into walls.
I’m a special special child,
I like to lick animals.
I wear helmets so I don’t
Hurt myself when I fall,
I am a special special kid!!

Dancing with Myself

Dancing with Myself

Once you held me close,
Never daring to let go.
We spun around that dance floor,
Like round and round we go.
But somehow we lost each other,
Halfway through the dance.
And though I’m still spinning,
I never got the chance…

To tell you that i love you,
To say how much I cared.
To let you know I treasure
Every moment that we shared.
And now I’ve come to realize,
From the memories on my shelf,
Now that I have lost you
I’m dancing with myself.

The rhythm never changes,
The tempo’s still the same.
I’m still left here twirling,
Calling out your name.
I guess I’ll keep on dancing,
All through nights and days.
Until you come back to me,
Because I want the chance to say…

To tell you that I love you,
To say how much I cared.
To let you know I treasure
Every moment that we shared.
And now I’ve come to realize,
From the memories on my shelf,
That until you come back to me,
I’m dancing with myself.

You never gave me a reason,
Why you ran away.
But if you come back to me,
Then I’ll finally have the chance to say…
Just how much I love you,
And just how much I care.
And how I’ll always treasure
All the memories we’ve shared.
Now I’ve come to realize,
From the memories on my shelf,
If you don’t come back to me,
I’ll always be dancing with myself.

Ivory Tower

Ivory Tower

Trapped up in my Ivory Tower,
Surrounded by darkness,
Deep despair.
Under a sky of fire,
My fever rises.
Cold lighting cracks,
Shooting across the treetops.
Flames lick higher,
My tower is burning.
I am freezing.
Everything has gone wrong.
All around me,
Sky is falling,
Clouds exploding.
Lost in a labyrinth,
Of darkness and evil,
Eyes watch my every move,
Wait for the slightest slip up
So they can devour me
With pain, hate, and lies.
Gleaming white fangs hang in the darkness.
They come closer, ready to strike.
My decision hangs before me.
Forward towards doom
Or backwards into the spiderwebs of despair.

Waterfalls

Waterfalls -

Darkness and shades of gray envelop me,
Old friends, bringing salvation
From this crown of thorns my life has bought.
Rattling chains and cloaks of silver,
Floating eyes and breaking glass.
Someone screams and I’m gone.
My face has faded and my life grows bleak.
There’s nothing but a white place,
Blank,
Nothing left but tears raining down
To drown me.
My screams are choked,
Hands closed around my throat.
The stars have fallen from the sky,
The moon a bloody spot in an endless stretch of black.
Bright flames engulf everything in their paths.
Leaves swirl across scorched pavement,
Catching the wind and burning like a forest alight.
Blue skies turn blood red as autumn leaves.
Buildings crumble and disappear,
The flames set me alight.
Has all the water dried up like the sands of the Sahara?
Where have all the waterfalls gone?

Alive

Alive -

I’m lost in the dark,
Tying to find my way out.
This box I’m trapped in,
Four walls surrounding me,
Enclosing me,
It holds me hostage.
I’m locked away from the world.
The air is stifling,
Suffocating me slowly,
As the light is fading, disappearing.
The silence burns my ears,
Deafens me, numbs me to the pain.
But the fear grows worse,
Blooms like a Venus fly trap
In my mind.
I cry out but my voice has been stolen,
Hidden under lock and key
And I cannot reach it.
I can feel the warmth of the rising sun,
But I cannot see it’s soothing light.
It warms me,
Melts the icy coldness of my heart.
I thought it stopped long ago,
Ended it’s beating,
Gave up and died.
But now I feel life stirring,
Starting me up again.
And I grasp fear by the neck and wring it,
I push out of the box it cannot hold me
Anymore.
And I feel
Alive.

Vampire

Vampire

Nights are everlasting,
Endless stretches of blackness.
You sheath your fangs
In bloodless lips,
I’m unconvinced you need me.
Is it wrong to love you
When you’ll never change?
You kiss my neck,
Sweet ecstasy runs through me.
The silvery thrill of the kiss.
You and I are the rulers of this night,
Eternal and pale.
I will sleep beside you forever,
Silently linked in this velvet-lined coffin.
Roses wither in my hands,
But you pull ,me closer.
You make me feel.

Cut the Fine Line

Cut the Fine Line

Bleed me from your veins,
Cut me from your wrists
And let it all go dark.
Hold me like a gun to your temple,
Pull my trigger and I’m gone.

Cut the fine line,
Cut it close today.
Nothing but endless stars
And broke down cars,
Nothing to see past tonight.

Mark me down,
Your latest conquest,
Your next target taken down.
Bury me 6 feet under,
Torn limb from limb I’ll rest finally.

Cut the fine line,
Cut it close today.
Nothing but endless stars
And broke down cars,
Nothing to see past tonight.

Tell them you cracked,
Too much pressure to take.
Everyone makes mistakes,
You’re only human,
You’re only human.

Cocoon

Cocoon

Crack me open,
Like I’m encased in some shell
That keeps me locked away from everything.
Only you hold the key
To unlock these iron chains,
And bring me out into the light.

Chorus –
It feels like you’re so far away,
When I’m dreaming of you at midnight.
I draw your name into my wrists,
The ink bleeds thorugh and I feel alive.

I handcuff my heart around your neck,
Burning white hot next to your veins.
How does it feel to know I’m always with you?
And does the darkness close you off,
When my eyes are all your hands can find?

Repeat Chorus

I bottle up the tears to save for when
You crash down beside me again.
I feel so mechanized, like every emotion
Is forced and cold.

Repeat Chorus

So Lost

So Lost

Fall away from me,
Hands are slipping
You’re screaming my name.
No one can save you,
I’ll lament the loss
Of your hand in mine.

I press my face into the pillow,
Smother a scream again.
You’re gone and I’m so lost.

On the edge you turned to me,
Held out a hand and begged
But you were too far gone.
Lost footholds and broken eyes,
I can’t remember more than dying inside.

I press my face into the pillow,
Smother a scream again.
You’re gone and I’m so lost.

Love was never mine to hold,
You slipped through my fingers
And left me with nothing,
Nothing but empty words.

Ghost

Ghost

I’m hovering over my grave tonight,
Watching you crying
In a sea of flowers and handwritten notes.
Can you feel my own tears falling?
Falling down beside your praying hands?
I’m reading over your shoulder,
Lines you’d hoped I’d never see.

Baby, just forget me.

You’re chasing a ghost,
Nothing but a ghost.
I’m just a vision from your past,
A memory fading fast.
This it the end of the rope for us,
Bleeding hearts beat silent.

You’ve gone too many nights without sleep,
Painting canvases and penning poetry on your walls.
Sobbing in the cemetery
Laying roses on my grave,
I’m sitting here with you
Waiting for you to give it up.

Baby, just forget me.

You’re chasing a ghost,
Nothing but a ghost.
I’m just a vision from your past,
A memory fading fast.
This it the end of the rope for us,
Bleeding hearts beat silent.

Far away,
I’m so far away now.
Heaven’s nothing compared to you,
The winds blow me away.
My pages are still empty of you.

Kiss Me, Kill Me

Kiss Me, Kill Me

Baby, you destroy me.
Never could keep it together
When you came around.
Snap me out of it,
Wrap your hands around my throat,
Just what I need now.

Kiss me kill me,
Poison on these lips,
Your face the last I see.
Let your words stab like daggers
As they rain down on me.
Wash yourself of me,
Clean your conscience
And blind these eyes

Baby, your hands are cold.
Always loved the noose around your neck,
When you’d wrap your fingers ‘round mine.
Lie to me just one more time,
Drag your knife across my throat,
Just what I need now.

Kiss me kill me,
Poison on these lips,
Your face the last I see.
Let your words stab like daggers
As they rain down on me.
Wash yourself of me,
Clean your conscience
And blind these eyes

Kiss me baby.
Kill me baby.
Come on beautiful,
Sell me your lies.
Come on baby,
Black my eyes.