Like Vines.

Like Vines.

Wild-eyed, pirate-smiled,
her hands are birds struggling to be free.
She trails her fingertips over his mouth
throws back her head
and laughs like a church bell.
Their chests rise and fall in sync,
as his eyes blink in slow motion
she charts new pathways
in his smooth expanse of skin.
He wraps his fingers in hers,
like vines intertwined,
they lie silent together
where every breath counts.

Heart String

Heart String

Heartbeat, heartbeat,
your voice on the line
sends me spinning through the night sky,
I could capture the stars.
Every word makes me want to grab you,
and pull you through the receiver,
so I can hold you all night long.
I cannot believe you’ve come back to me,
like a butterfly I captured and set free.
I couldn’t be happier.
My heart’s like a balloon
floating up to the ceiling,
I’m grasping for heart strings,
to try and keep it from soaring away,
to find you wherever you are.

Can’t Get Any Worse

Can’t Get Any Worse

She wrings her hands,
pale and shaking,
the tears flowing slowly
down her face and into the ocean.
Her form is still,
standing quiet on the sand
watching the tide wash in.
Lonely. Lonely. Lonely.
The waves seem to whispers
sad promises of love long gone.
She’s so lost without him,
teetering on the edge of insanity
hoping for some bit of escape.
Dry your eyes,
it can only get better.
It sure can’t get any worse.

Drop

Drop

I can’t just turn off my feelings.
I’m like a drippy water faucet,
they leak out drop by drop.
I never understood breaks.
Heart breaks, love breaks,
I’ll never get it.
I don’t understand much,
like how love can fade
or how you can be so sure of your feelings
but change your mind so fast.

Volatile.

Volatile.

Why can’t I feel anything
for anyone other than you?
Yes I know it’s over,
but I still can’t believe it.
I can’t think about it.
You told me not to cry,
well I’m trying, you know,
I’m staving it off
with thoughts of everything you said.
I’m stubborn,
and you’re cold.
We’re just so volatile.

Feel.

Feel.

“I just want to break you down so badly.”

I want you to feel exactly like I do.
I want you to hurt,
to feel the sting your words leave.
Why do I feel like I’m in love with a robot?
Sometimes you just seem so cold.
I don’t understand
how people can claim they’re in love
when they don’t even talk,
when they don’t even feel.
I want to break through,
to get to you,
to get to you.

Locket.

Locket.

Could I keep you inside my locket,
close to my heart
where no one can steal you away?
Would you be content
just being with me,
would you just long for freedom?
I can’t be so lonely forever,
sleeping with the phone in my hand
praying that you’ll call.
I cannot be the cold one,
the one who never shows
that she actually cares.
I need to know if you feel anything at all.

Keep It Together

Keep It Together

Breathe. Breathe.
Deeper. Slower.
Don’t let it get to you.
This time will be different,
this time will be different.
No, no. Don’t cry.
Blink back those tears.
The emotions overcome,
the emotions overcome.
You can stay strong,
I have faith in you.
There is nowhere else to turn,
you have no other choice.
Breathe. Breathe.
Deeper. Slower.
You’ll get it right in the end.

The Break-Up (July 17, 2006)

The Break-Up (July 17th, 2006)

So there it is,
so there it goes.
Shattered pieces of what we were
scattered on the floor.
I guess we tried
but it wasn’t enough,
well isn’t that how it ends up?
I try to ignore the memories,
because letting them rise to the surface
would absolutely break me.
You say you don’t know how to feel.
Okay, I’ll let you go
to figure it out once and for all.
I’ll be waiting.

This is How It Goes

This is How It Goes

Blink. Blink. Open. Shut.
Breathe. Breathe. In. out.
Don’t you dare cry,
better to hold it all inside.
Never let them know your feelings,
don’t ever let them show.
Lonely is not an option,
living is not an option.
Not an option,
not an option,
not an option.

Being Me.

Being Me.

These four walls hold me prisoner.
I just can’t escape the thoughts inside my head,
they keep telling me
you don’t care about me.
I can’t make them stop,
I can’t get away
no matter how hard I bang my head.
Every move I make,
leads me closer to the edge,
I can’t stand being me.

Butterfly.

Butterfly.

You swim through my mind
like a fish through the ocean,
but I won’t try to capture you this time.
I had you once, trapped in a jar.
A beautiful butterfly longing to be free.
I opened my hands
and watched you fly away,
off into the endless sea of blue sky
so free.
Now I’m waiting for you
to fly back to me.

My Angel.

My Angel.

I used to think you were my angel.
Now I know you have no wings,
there is no halo above your head.
There’s so much left unsaid,
almost too much to try and mend this rift.
It feels as wide as the ocean.
Every day that passes,
slow and uncertain,
is like torture to my heart.
I feel you growing more distant.
I don’t know how to stop it.

She

She

She used to be so perfect,
before the liquor and the love
and the drunken confessions in the moonlight.
She used to be your girl,
before the incident and the blow-ups,
and the words neither of you could take back.
She used to have it all,
lyrics penned about her captivating smile
and the comfort of knowing
that the world was always on her side.
She sits alone and wonders
how it all went wrong,
and every day that passes by
just leaves her more confused.
She used to be so perfect.
She had an entire world at her feet,
lit up like candlelight in the darkness.
Now where has it all gone?

Incurable.

Incurable.

Who could ever learn to love a beast?
We are not the cure,
we are the disease
killing off whoever stands in our path,
undiagnosable, incurable.
Yes, we will take you down,
like traps laid in the forest.
Be careful where you step.

The End.

The End.

Here is the end.
I’ve run out of blank pages
and I’ll start over once again.
I’m signing off,
I’m signing my life away.
I’m just a girl
with an overactive imagination
and a pen in hand,
and too much free time.
But this girl’s got the gift of rhyme.
Yeah, she might screw up with love,
but she sure spins a great story.

Lion

Lion

She’s like a lion,
bushy-haired
and iron-clawed.
With bright red lips
and smoke-filled eyes,
she takes it with a toothy smile.
You cannot break the girl
who cares nothing for you.
She’ll flick her paw
and lay you open.
You’ll never see it coming.

Explore.

Explore.

Her lips are like morphine.
She draws you in
with burning eyes,
like cigarettes in the night.
A flick of the wrist,
and she has you on your knees,
begging for a chance.
She lights a cigarette,
blows ring around your face
and smiles at your expression.
She just might break you,
and she just might burn you
but she just might save you
if you let her try.
She’s all diamond rings
and lace in secret places,
she guides your hand to explore.
With her blessing,
you’ll explore.

Beast.™

Beast.™

I am a killer.
Ruthless.
Fearless.
I stalk my prey in the darkness.
You cannot escape.
I am a trained predator,
Natural instincts
sense of fear
leads me straight to you.
My eyes are sharp,
so are my fangs.
Can you handle me?

Feelings

Feelings

I dance around my feelings,
afraid to put them on display.
I’m scared of you knowing,
I know exactly what you’ll say.
I hate it when you screw up
and act like it’s my fault.
I get all the blame, and you,
you just do what you want.
Our arguments always end the same,
we just don’t speak for days.
It’s not the way I planned it,
it’s just the way our story plays.

Sick & Tired.

Sick & Tired.

I can see myself,
like I’m looking in a mirror.
Every move I make,
carefully scripted.
I sculpt my life for your acceptance,
but somehow it is never enough.
I blow kisses at the second chances
as you blow them off,
one by one.
Lately it seems as if you never care
and all I do is care too much.
So here’s another wasted smile,
here’s another wasted night
I spent crying over you.
I’m tired of walking this tightrope,
Tiptoeing on eggshells
and hoping you’re in the right mood.
I’m tired of being neglected,
rejected.
I’m tired of feeling like it’s through.

Sick & Tired.

Sick & Tired.

I can see myself,
like I’m looking in a mirror.
Every move I make,
carefully scripted.
I sculpt my life for your acceptance,
but somehow it is never enough.
I blow kisses at the second chances
as you blow them off,
one by one.
Lately it seems as if you never care
and all I do is care too much.
So here’s another wasted smile,
here’s another wasted night
I spent crying over you.
I’m tired of walking this tightrope,
Tiptoeing on eggshells
and hoping you’re in the right mood.
I’m tired of being neglected,
rejected.
I’m tired of feeling like it’s through.

Float Away

Float Away

Beauty is elusive.
It races through my mind,
like a doe through the forest
nothing but instinct saying “run”
and the sound of the hunter,
gaining, gaining.
I race towards the seashore,
I find nothing, nothing,
nothing but sand
that slips through my fingers
like you did.
I cannot breathe.
The air is too thick
with lovers professing in the moonlight.
It makes me sick.
I cannot see, the alcohol blurs my vision
and I scrabble for purchase,
fruitlessly,
in the sand.
I awaken to the tide
creeping slowly round my knees,
pulling at my arms
and whispering “please stay”.
I lay back
and watch myself float away.

Regret.

Regret.

Knife to the back,
gun to my head.
Maybe I am better off dead.
You call it love,
well I call it pain.
Maybe they’re right & I am to blame.
No more words,
we can’t make it right.
Darling I know you’ll put up a fight.
Can’t work it out,
I’m not misunderstood.
You’re running away, I knew that you would.
Kiss on my neck,
hand on my thigh.
I told you no, I told you goodbye.
A scream in the dark,
I break down and cry.
I can feel something inside of me die.
No second chance,
nothing left for you here.
I know what you’re thinking but don’t you dare.
Knife to the back,
shot to the heart.
I loved you once,
I was in the dark.

Believe.

Believe.

Breathe.
My lungs fill with ease,
but the air’s not as sweet
as it once tasted,
when your hand and my hand
found each other
across a sea of blankets,
when our lips fought for purchase
on any patch of bared skin.
See.
My eyes are wide open,
but nothing’s as clear
as the stars above our heads were.
In a crowded place I could only see you,
when the Heaven’s erupted
and I grabbed you by the hand
and whispered “Isn’t it beautiful?” into your ear.
Believe.
I can still put trust in
everything I once did,
but it seems foolhardy & trite
without you lying by my side.
And still I believe,
in you,
in me.

Worth

Worth

You make me feel so vulnerable,
like every move
leaves me more open
to your cold eyes.
I wish you’d care about me,
but obviously, oh so obviously
you couldn’t care less.
The tears slip down my cheek,
I never cried before you came along.
Is it all worth it?
Will it be worth it in the end?

9. The Fight

9. The Fight

5 minutes have passed
since the slamming of the door.
10 since he screamed
“you’re worthless”,
and she ducked under a spray of shattering glass.
Tears slide gently down her face,
rolling silently towards the floor.
She sits with her back against the counter,
regretting everything she ever said
but mostly the words
“I love you”.

8. Summer

8. Summer

Summer breeze always reminds me of you.
It always blows in from the shore,
bringing the scent of sea
and summers we spent together.
The trees used to whisper our names
as we lay together counting the stars.
We’d stay out for hours,
twirling in the rain
or wandering near and far.
It didn’t matter as long as we were together.

7. Free

7. Free

To be perfectly honest,
sometimes I feel the need to be free.
A yearning to face my fears
and try to make it on my own.
I want to love recklessly,
let my hair blow in the wind.
I can see her, the girl I want to be,
she’s right in front of me,
living on the edge of it all
without a care without a thought
of what the future might bring.
Wish I could throw off these shackles,
break free of these four walls
find some one new to be.
I’d abandon myself,
left behind on the shore,
and I’d tell him everything I really feel.

6. Don’t Back Away

6. Don’t Back Away

Don’t back away.
Look into my eyes and feel safe.
I know your heart is beating faster
and your eyes are widened,
you’re scared of what’s to come.
But baby, I’m in uncharted waters here.
No one will ever save you
if they can’t ever find you.
Yeah, I know it’s dark outside,
but there’s a light inside my soul,
and I will keep you warm til morning.

5. We’ll Burn

5. We’ll Burn

Anticipation, longing, patience.
Patience, it will come.
The stars will disappear
And all at once life will make some kind of sense.
The trees won’t look so deadly
in the cold light of morning,
I swear.
We’ll burn, we’ll burn.

4. Invincible.

4. Invincible.

Solitary.
Every piano key
resounds inside my heart,
tugs at my thoughts
and sets them spinning like a ferris wheel.
In the darkness I could be anyone.
I could be anywhere.
Or nothing,
just a ghost
lingering at the edge of your mind.
I could be…invincible.

Secret Place

Secret Place

There’s a secret place I go,
when all the world is dead and cold.
I sit in my treehouse and watch the cars,
or lie on my back and count the stars.
I pick myself a bouquet or two,
bring it inside my mind to fight the gloom.
With my journal and my pen in hand,
I write about this secret land.
No one’s there to lecture me,
on how to act or who to be.
I can just sit quietly by myself
and put my fears up on a shelf.
And if one day you find I’m gone,
know I’ve packed up and just moved on
to my secret place, where I will roam,
that secret place I’ll call my home.

Cold.

Cold.

Can’t understand.
Your live is so cold,
so everchanging
like winter wind through the forest.
So frigid.
I’m huddled by the firelight
of the memories I’m burning
just to keep warm.
My fingers go numb.
Don’t you see, I can’t go on.
It’s sucking the life out of me,
bit by bit & day by day.
I can feel my heart freezing
with no protection from the bitter wind that’s blowing.
Can’t you see I’m dying?
Can’t you understand?
I cannot be the only one
constantly fanning to keep this love aflame.
I cannot be the only one
who feels the chill.

If I Were…

If I Were…

If I were extraordinary,
I’d do extraordinary things
like sail around on magic wings
but I’d still be in love with you.
If I were famous,
I’d be all over the magazines
be worshipped by starry-eyed teens
but I’d still be in love with you.
If I were rejected,
I’d be an emotional wreck
a ship with no hands on deck
but I’d still be in love with you.
If I were neglected,
I’d cry myself to sleep
have no company to keep
but I’d still be in love with you.

Wonderland

Wonderland

I cannot gather
whether
you are some philosophy
or just here to please aesthetically,
won’t you point the way
to the Jester fair today?
Because you’re just another jewel
sitting in the king’s crown.
Another few years & they’ll take you down.
The Knave of Hearts
stole the Queen’s tarts,
and it’ll be off with his head.
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick,
or Jack will end up dead.
I would not delay
nor play croquet,
you’re debt’s already too high.
It’s mutiny, oh can’t you see,
there isn’t a reason why.
The Cat’s led you astray,
there is no right or wrong way
and no potion to swallow on down.
So choose to take your leave,
it’s not quite your cup of tea?
Well, the wheels spin around and around.
The Caterpillar’s wrong,
he’s sold you out for a song,
and there’s not a pocket watch in sight.
Time to break the habit,
oh, here’s the White Rabbit,
I guess you got lucky tonight.

Heaven Beyond.

Heaven Beyond.

When I’m with you
I breathe deeper.
The moments move slower
the planets align.
Just being in your presence
I can’t even fathom
Not knowing the warmth you can give.
No, it’s not fireworks
and it’s not the brightest sun I’ve ever seen.
But when I’m with you,
it’s like Heaven is just beyond me,
stretching right out under my fingertips.

Mr.

Mr.

Mr. Head in the Clouds,
you’re wearing me out.
Won’t you come down?
Mr. Always Right,
never gives in, gotta fight,
let me hold you tonight.
Mr. Get Up & Go,
I want you to know
I don’t believe in your show.
Mr. Try to Pretend,
I see right through you, friend,
don’t you know it’s the end?