I've Killed the Easter Bunny

I've Killed the Easter Bunny

Hide those chocolate eggs,
don’t put on your Easter hat.
You can tear that dress to shreds,
you have no need of that.
I’ve flushed the Peeps
and broke off the chocolate bunnies’ heads.
Why does it all matter,
if the Easter Bunny’s dead?

Yes that’s right you heard me,
I guess I’ll never learn.
But that bunny really got on my nerves,
and so he had to burn.
I’ve killed the Easter Bunny,
there’ll be no baskets today.
Don’t go looking for your colored eggs,
I've thrown them all away.
The pastels ain’t so bright now, huh?
The day just ain’t so fun.
Well, I guess instead of handing out gifts,
that bunny should've learned to run.

Now I know you’re all upset kids,
but it’s just the way things gotta be.
That bunny had it coming,
so I did him a favor you see?
And just because you don’t have candy,
and you really want that sugar high.
That’s no excuse to become unruly,
too much sugar and you would die.

So where do we go from here?
The whole world is on my back.
Hey, I can just hire a lawyer,
maybe the same one the bunny had.
I’ve killed the Easter Bunny,
there’ll be no baskets today.
Don’t go looking for your colored eggs,
I've thrown them all away.
He ain’t comin’ to town kids,
he’s wrapped in a tarp in my car.
Yeah, the bunny tried to get away,
but he didn’t get that far.

You want to hold a funeral?
You want to remember him well?
Don’t waste your time people,
that rodent’s gonna burn in Hell.
I have no problems with the Tooth Fairy,
she’s the smart one, she pays me cash.
But that bunny was so annoying,
I swear he was a major pain in the ass.

And now the children are crying,
because the Easter Bunny’s over and done.
We all knew he was magical,
well magical don't hold up against my gun.
I’ve killed the Easter Bunny,
there’ll be no baskets today.
Don’t go looking for your colored eggs,
I've thrown them all away.
Here comes Peter Cottontail,
sliding down into the sea.
Yeah, Easter’s not coming to anyone,
except to maybe me.

Santa’s cool and leprechauns rock,
but I think that they’ll agree.
That bunny was nothing but trouble,
and people should be thanking me!
I’ve killed the Easter Bunny,
Easter’s no longer so great.
So pile up all your decorations,
set ‘em on fire and watch ‘em bake!