Wish Life Was Real

Wish Life Was Real

Wish I could fly
wish I weren’t such a
puppet on a string.
Wish my smile weren’t so fake,
wish my expression
fit my thoughts.
Wish I could forget
every word he ever said.
Wish this heart were some prophet
to reveal every truth,
wish I weren’t such a
desperate whore,
wish you weren’t so
damn perfect.
Wish I weren’t so out of my mind,
wish everything didn’t
come crashing down on my head
every few days or so.
Wish I were a little bit more,
more loveable,
more likeable,
much more quiet.
Wish the sky weren’t so dark
and it’s 1:15
on a lonely Monday morning
but I wish it wasn’t,
and I wish I wasn’t.
Wish the voices in my head
would SHUT UP for once
and just let me sleep.
Wish the moon were out tonight
wish something felt real to me,
somehow.
Wish I weren’t so miserable all the time
because then maybe
someone would be able to stand me.
Wish everyone’s eyes
weren’t so accusing
wish I weren’t such a
mistake waiting to happen.
Wish my insecurities
weren’t constantly on display,
just wish I could
disappear,
relax.
Wish I didn’t know everything I know
wish I could live in a haze
like everyone around me,
post-coital, post-hangover
drug-ridden existences.
Wish I wasn’t who I am,
maybe be who I was
2 years prior to this moment.
Wish I weren’t so painfully aware
that everything in my life
is such a sham.